A question again.

So i started to notice my thoughts and try to find the root of the problem, why do i fear these things. I asked why i want to be so perfect to God? Cause im afraid of failing. Why? Cause then im just a fraud, a fake believer who drives people to a fake belief that i made up. And what? Then im a bad person. Why im afraid of that? Cause then i dont deserve to live... I dont know if i got this cause of my suicidal ocd and my obsession gave me this immediatelly but i had these thoughts while i was questioning myself. Then my psychologist was right and i developed ocd to save myself from suicide cause deep down i hate myself and i want to die when im not perfect or this is just another ocd? How can i find the root of my obsession fears without ocd manipulating it?

PRIV8

Date posted: 1y ago

Same with other thoughts: Why do i want to be sure what God says? Cause i want to get better than how i am now, and if i follow God but i still will suffer the same way like now then THERE'S NO MEANING IN LIFE... I dont know at this point all these things gets me into a hopeless thought or a thought of dying... some people say this is the rabbit hole you have to stop following, but other say get to the root of the problem....

Secretidentity

Date posted: 21w ago

Does any one ever question if their ocd isn’t ocd?

That’s kinda my question. All my thoughts feel so realistic and so now I doubt if they are ocd and if I just can’t make my mind up about something and I’m using ocd as an excuse or something idc I feel like this post is word vomit.

cows12465

Date posted: 10w ago

suic. ocd advice?

so I need to get back into ERP, but it’s so hard to manage these thoughts and learn to deal with them. like I swear my mind has to make everything about it. Like every time I clean my room, my mind’s like yup make sure it’s clean so when your parents find you, or something so stupid like if I get a headache, my mind convinces me that I like the pain and that that’s why I get my thoughts because I actually want to do it. It’s so exhausting. Because I know I would never want to take my life and I treasure my life so why does it do it to me? It’s hard to comprehend the fact of these thoughts too because I don’t know many people with this exact theme. It’s such a scary feeling. And I’m constantly questioning whether I have actual depression or if it’s just my OCD. Yes I have been diagnosed with suicidal OCD, but my mind still tries to convince me otherwise. I just don’t know how to let these just sit and pass without panicking.

Conquering_OCD

Date posted: 7w ago

Knowing the difference

Does anyone have any advice for how to know the difference between ocd and real feelings/thoughts? Sometimes an intrusive thought will come in and I immediately know it’s ridiculous and I can just leave it alone and it won’t bother me but other times I really really don’t know. It’s when ocd hijacks and twists my real feelings and thoughts and tries to manipulate me into believing they’re something they’re not or something that doesn’t align with my true morals or intentions. But since it’s twisting and mixing with real feelings I get so confused and scared. Everything gets jumbled and I feel like I can’t trust myself or my own mind. Yet other times and other topics I can laugh off and push away just fine. Make it make sense. And then I start to think well maybe I don’t have ocd at all and I’m just in denial because I don’t want to accept that these scary/concerning things are true about myself. Or maybe that’s just the ocd talking.

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A question again.

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