How to react? What to do?

Red flag 🚩 it’s not worth being on a medication that makes you more sick. It’s causing more harm than good and she absolutely should be taking your concerns seriously. I highly suggest you contact your GP bc they can taper you off of it and switch you onto another medication (if you want that); or see a new psychiatrist if you’re able to. Also, you are not worthless!! It doesn’t matter what other people say or think bc it doesn’t mean it’s true or that it’s a fact. You are so deserving of help and support, I promise you that ❤️

Sorry you are going through all this . I am not sure if we corresponded in the past concerning a DNA mouth swab test that assists in determining medication compatibility. Perhaps when the dust settles with your physician a prescription can be suggested for the test .

Genesight is the medical laboratory that does the testing. Insurance covers some of it . Some psychiatrists write the prescription for it . I discovered I am not compatible with 90% of medications. They test for pain medication, sleep aids , anti -depressants and so on . You are always so giving and compassionate with everyone on here . I sincerely wish everything to work out for you 😊.

Perhaps consider changing doctors all together and start fresh with someone else that you have harmony with and good chemistry ⚛️.

Hello. Well... Update. I have sent my psychiatrist an email and in a nice but firm way told her what's bothering me. I was respectful. Just stated my case. She replied Yesterday. She wants to talk to me on the phone tomorrow afternoon. She said it was not her intention to upset me, but wishes to talk. That is all OK. But I've been there 1x before with her and a million times with others. She will call. I will answer. She will talk, I will only listen quietly. She will have all the cards in her hands. I won't stand a chance. She will be polite but will manage to make me feel so little that I won't have the courage to stand up for myself. What she says, goes. And it will be the same tomorrow. I am super scared of conflicts. I am not used to people who deal with conflicts in a grown up, emotionally intelligent way. I was never that lucky. I always had to deal with aggressive (verbally and by behavior) bullies. I got scared of people. I hot scared of disagreements. I am so weak, that I end up apologizing for what they did to me as if it was my fault. I hate myself for that later. I am getting ready to cook dinner and go to bed, it's evening here, but I know I won't be able to sleep because of the anxiety she has caused me by I dusting on the phone call and not answering by mail. She knows that in mails I feel more confident. I have time to think how I want to react. In one on one, I just duck. Can someone teach me, a crash course in communication, how to stand up for myself, demand equal respect I give them and manage to get a word in edgewise. And how to say if sth bothers me. Jow do I react if they attack or insult me on purpose. Do I keep quiet and later when alone cry my eyes out? My anxiety is flying so high. I don't know if she does that on purpose. Expose me because she knows I am weak and she will manipulate with me. Or is this supposed to be a learning experience. Well it can't be, if she won't even listen to me. I almost feel it now how anxious I will be when she calls. I will be so thankful. I will read all the answers today, but I will answer later or morning, because now I need to cook and distract myself somehow before I get my first time ever panic attack. I am heading that way. Here is me, asking you to teach me what my parents should have taught me growing up. Well no love, no confidence and a big doormat for everyone to walk on. I keep saying in my head breathe, breathe, breathe. It will be OK. Whome am I fooling. She will command, reprimand, put me down and I will quietly take it all. I am so screwed up. I am scared of talking to people when everything is not fine. Have a nice evening. 🫂🌹

I'm so sorry you're suffering so much. Question: why is erp not available to you?

Hello. Thank you for responding as well. The DNA mouth swab test in determining medication compatibility is new to me. It sounds amazing. So you can actually do that. Does insurance cower it? How long does it take? Where does a person go to do that? I am just afraid that I have no chance getting a prescription for that. Not from my GP, neither from my psychiatrist. I wonder if she knows about that at all. My psychiatrist is a very young woman. She just started working the month I went there to get help. I was among her first 5 patients. She is a doctor of medicine who specializes in psychiatry, but is not a psychiatrist yet, she is doing her internship here. But, her mentor left els were, so she now acts as an independent psychiatrist. She is weird. Does not answer my mails even though I had a conversation with her one on one and she promised to respond. She even apologized for not answering at all. I thought everything was fine. 10 says after that I had to write to her, since she told me to contact a manufacturer of a certain medicine and check out some ingredients. The manufacturer told me they needed her to log in to get the info. She never did. She never even answered my mail. I have to avoid certain ingredients in meds. If everything has been OK with the medicine, I was supposed to start it 2 months ago I never got the answer from her. One of us here is not normal here. She treats me like crap, disrespectful,.... And I always kindly ask if she could only answer that for me.... with allways emphasizing that I understand she is busy and that I wouldn't bother her if it was not important,.... She is disrespectful towards me and I am writing excuses for her. She never answers. Well... I guess I have just answered my own question- I am the crazy one. No one in their right mind would humiliate themselves like I do. And I wonder why everyone walks all over me. Could you please read my response above to Steven 55. My questions is it appropriate to tell her that I am upset, disappointed, shocked,... or should I do it in another way. Thank you again for taking the time. I hope you are doing well.

Hello Blazed. Thank you so very much. I am pretty tired right now. I had a sleepless night. At about 4 am I kind of managed to put my thoughts in an email to my psychiatrist. I stood up for myself in a respectful way towards her. Polite but firm. I was so overwhelmed with disappointment and the feeling I was abandoned by the very person who should have my well being in mind since it's in her hands, I didn't see the road in front of me. The reality is, no matter what I do or how hard I try, my efforts are either supported or hindered by the medicine she decides I have to take. So she is in charge of my life mostly at the moment. At this moment, even if there was an Erp therapy possibility for me, I am physically and consequently psychologically so tired that I wouldn't have the energy needed to do it. I have been thinking of asking a male GP, personal doctor, to accept me as his patient. He is said to be a very good, kind doctor with a strong sense of empathy and care for his patients. The only problem is, that he is most probably going to retire next year or in two years. What then? I would again end up with this one where I am now, since she is the only one available. I don't know what to do? Any thoughts on that, please? I have checked out the link you sent me. I will see what I can do. Maybe I will find a support group. First I need to break out of this numbness and weird state I am in. My head feels like when you have a cold, but I don't. I am going to share just 1 thing with you now. And I hope this shows you how much your words and support mean to me. I developed ocd when I was about 12. Monody understood what was going on with me. Neither did I. From a role model child and student, very communicative, I became introverted and wanted to be alone with my family, but no other people. In school I kept up the good grades, but I was suffering with studying. At home, my parents instead of looking it up, talking to me, supperting me, turned against me, insulted me, back stabbed me. I didn't even know what to expect next from them. The last draw was that when I tried to talk about it with my now late father, he jumped up, came to me, threw me on a couch and started strangling me. It was bad. He stopped, but it was bad. I ran away from home. No saved money. Just enough to pay a rent for a small room that I had to share far away from home. I lost my family. My relatives who all my life insulted me and my family, just because my mom came from another country, neighboring ours. They alway told me I was not good enough. I was the most polite person in our extended family, the kindest, the perfect student,... and I was the trash of the family to them. Of course, I had to give up friends. There was nobody there for me. For the first year and a half, I worked 2 student jobs to survive. I was so hungry at times. Couldn't afford anything. It's been over half of my life that I have no touch with anyone from the past. I am alone. I have my husband. Thank universe for that. But all the experiences from my past still haunt me. I can't understand how a parent can treat a child like that. My sister whom I have not been in touch for over 25 years and I do not wish ever to be since she is the devil, the pure evil, she was rude to parents and relatives, selfish, egocentric and they love her. So, I hope I can thank you enough for every single kind word of support in your answers to me. It feels warm at heart to hear kind things said to me about me. Dear Blazed, we've never met. Yet you helped me more than any person in my life so far. You made me feel I wasn't nothing. I will always love you for that. Thank you so much. Thousand hugs to you. I would be happy if you told me how you are doing. I need to do some chores now. Pets are waiting. I need to somehow get going. But I will be back to NOCD a bit later. Thank you for taking your time to write to me. All the best to you. 😇🙏🤗😘💖.

I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time :(. If you’ve been on the meds this long and they still causing these crazy side effects you need to ask her to taper off of them immediately! I don’t care what she says. Do not cut them abruptly please! As I did that after being on them for 3 weeks. You are not worthless, you are going through a hard time and it’s temporary. We are all here to support you. Those people who treated you like you were nothing were a waste of your time. It’s easy to believe what people (or our brains) tell us over and over again, especially when it’s negative. You have every right to let her know how you feel, and look for another psychiatrist immediately if that’s possible. You deserve the proper help. You do not have to take anything just because she says you do. If you feel something truly isn’t good for you or that you don’t have all the information, ask or tell her so. I completely understand how you feel because my ocd has been telling me the same shit lately, but it’s not true. It really is hell and it’s scary when you feel like no one understands or is not there for you. I know sometimes it take trial and error with healthcare providers and meds, but like 777Q said, definitely try and see if your insurance covers that dna test, as I will be asking my provider this week when I go visit. I am always here to talk! I sincerely hope you can find an ERP therapist soon. I wish you well

Keep remembering that if you need a heart to hang onto, we're here for you.

Thank you so much! You are amazing? Thank you!