So I haven’t been able to sleep at all lately so I was like what if u think of the thoughts and do them they will bring you peace so I thought of one of the bad thoughts. I am thinking about not living anymore and idek. I am such a bad person.

Ive been here. No one can reassure you are a good person. People will tell you but it has to be you that decides you are! Try meditating and renaming all of your intrusive thoughts as OCD Everytime one pops into your head relabel it. Then think of someone like your pet or your family and label that as love. Think of a fun time in your life and label that as joy. Then think of a bad experience and label it as a bad memory. Then keep sorting through your thoughts until they are all organized. Don't let yourself stress whether or not a thought is OCD or a bad experience. You have to trust yourself to relabel the anxious doubting thoughts as OCD. Don't try to investigate them just sift through and relabel.

Thank you sm

Dear Mohelei - Sorry to hear that. I remember those days. Just remember that there is no such thing as "bad thoughts" there are only thought. The same way there are no "bad farts" - There are only farts - some stink more than others. I know this is so counterintuitive to what we have always been taught, especially by religion but it is the pure truth. We have zero control of thoughts - However we do have control of what we do with them. So, reviewing a thought expecting some reaction (positive or negative) is a compulsion that keeps feeding the Monster.

But I really love people and I don’t want to hurt anyone I just thought I shoukd ad that

I can’t believe the amount of support you all provide very thankful.