How to deal with my thoughts?

Okay so everything is literally a trigger for me due to my family members due to my covers and due to my own clothes and also animals Espically my dogs.Okay so I’m in high school still young these thoughts started happening around this year and has became worst to the point I had to go to a mental institution this summer around June I struggle from sexual ocd where my mind literally sexual everything and I do mean everything I can’t look at my animals because I’m afraid I would want to look at their butts or other areas so I just don’t look at them or my sister we sleep in the same room together I have a bed and she has one I use to like to toss and turn to get comfortable so I would flip sides over again until I fall asleep but now I can’t do that because I use to have a thought of looking at her butt so now I just lay on my side facing the wall I’ve been doing this for the whole summer because she goes back to college in August I also hide my family faces from my preview when we’re all in the living room watching something so I don’t see their private parts what made me go to the mental institution this summer was me having the thought of looking at my sisters underwear drawer I tried to bear the thought by again covering the drawer with my cover from my preview or just looking at my phone all day or making myself go to sleep but o end up just telling her to remove it from our room after a couple days later I couldn’t look at my family faces which made me go to the mental institution because I was afraid I was never gonna be able to look at their faces again the mental institution did not help because I was surrounded by kids I also suffer from pocd so I was triggered a lot I would also not look at their faces or even speak to them only if they spoke to me I was there for five days so when I came back home I got a little better but now I’m back to spiraling and I feel like I’m finna go insane again also when I came back home I literally learned all my siblings who were girls was molested expect my oldest one including me and the sister who I’m scared to look at butt who I sleep with was molested by my father and my other sister was molested by my cousin I as well was molested by my cousin not the same one as my sister my mother isn’t very mentally healthy so she of course felt guilty because she believed it was her fault so she started I guess I would say taking it out on us a little so that made me go insane I even started hitting myself repeatedly we went on vacation after the same day and this asshole of a man keeps showing up at our house I just need a little advice how to cope since I know people up here are a little older than me so any advice I’ll take it please .

Username: McDuckoMcDucko

Date posted: 1y ago

So, what you've just written is a confession. When treating OCD we avoid these because they make OCD worse by creating a cycle that never really fixes the issue at hand. It can be difficult, but the first step to getting better is to avoid making confessions or compulsions like this (a compilation is anything you feel you need to do repetitively to stop the anxiety). A lot of the themes I have glanced at in this text are common triggers for anxiety. I don't know how old you are, but if you can, it is worth getting in with an OCD specialist who can help you while you're still figuring this out. If not that, then getting on anti-obsession medication like Luvox or Sertaline (but not limited to those two options) to help you better process your thoughts. The most important thing to realize is that you are not your thoughts. I can't really understand what exactly happened here, but it seems like you may have had some trauma you may need to fix as well. An OCD specialist can help you with this as well or refer you to someone who can help. When you feel your obsessive thoughts patterns coming you need to label them as "OCD thoughts". You will know they are OCD thoughts because they cause great anxiety and you will probably feel the need to fix whatever issue OCD is currently warning you about immediately. These thoughts are painful, yes, but they are not who you genuinely are. Do not avoid them or push them away, simply acknowledge you had a disturbing through from OCD and move on with your day. Healing from OCD is a very difficult task but nothing you cannot do. We are all here to help make sure you succeed, just please try to manage your compulsions and get a good system for recovery. Therapy, exercise, good diet, a support system (which you can find here) and if you need, medication will all be invaluable to you in this process. Please let us know if we can ever be of service.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

I’m so sorry you are facing this. It’s obviously taken you down such dark roads. God bless you. Therapy really makes a difference and if there is any possible way for you to get help through a counselor, please do. I am 33 but have dealt with it for most of my life. There is hope. This is not a life sentence.

Username: Anymous Anymous

Date posted: 1y ago

Yes I do now have a therapist I take Zoloft I have found that this stops the anxiety of the thoughts but I also feel numb or very irritated now to the point where I’m not happy or I can’t really feel sad I just feel nothing I haven’t really spoke to my therapist due to the way my therapy sessions are set up but I’m trying everyday I just don’t want to die or end up being like my father when I get older

Username: McDuckoMcDucko

Date posted: 1y ago

Might need new medication. You also need to make sure your therapist knows ERP. That is the method by which OCD should be treated first.

Username: Anymous Anymous

Date posted: 1y ago

Okay yes thank you for the advice :)

Username: rhaines rhaines

Date posted: 1y ago

There’s hope. I’ve heard of many recovery stories from sexual ocd! I’m struggling with these same thoughts everyday right now and it’s hard but I know they aren’t my own thoughts. Maybe ask your doctor to change your medication and get speaking to your therapist. It sounds like your main compultions are avoidance and confession- that’s helpful for the therapist 💜

Username: Anymous Anymous

Date posted: 1y ago

@rhaines Yes when I was talking to people at the place where I went to get a therapist which I have now they only brought it down to that I was having these thoughts because I was touched inappropriately at a young age and I didn’t think it was the case

Username: rhaines rhaines

Date posted: 1y ago

@Whiny No… that is not what causes these thoughts. It can maybe make them worse because of your experience but if you find your therapist wants to dive into the meaning of your intrusive thoughts then I wouldn’t continue with that therapist. ERP is the gold standard treatment, maybe book a free call with a NOCD therapist on here 💜

Username: Anymous Anymous

Date posted: 1y ago

@rhaines I haven’t been really diagnosed with ocd but I think I have them do to having the same symptoms of the people up here and I really don’t want to book a call up here do to me really not trusting the people who runs the app

Username: .fx.nxy.

Date posted: 1y ago

POCD anxiety

contains tw// p-ocd, beatstiality, self harm mentioned briefly ok so to start this i really enjoy child psychology, working with kids, etc. I’m a camp councilor in the summer at two different camps and a babysitter in the winter. I’m the youngest so no younger siblings but i know if i did i would 100% take care of them just because of my love of taking care of kids. I’ve always had p-ocd and struggled with it but it’s only gotten worse within the last year, starting with my psychiatrist saying i didn’t have ocd and casing a panic attack in my partial hospitalization program (a mental hospital.) I get pretty horrible thoughts about pocd and children and im currently having a small-medium anxiety attack about it. i have never hurt a child to but my brain keeps repeating the fact that “P3dos work in places where they have access to childern” at times when i’m activity working with kids it will happen and i ignore it but right now it feels stuck to me. I can’t help but understand that that is a fact and i’m more likely to be a p3do because of the fact i’m a camp councilor. i also have some pretty bad ocd about beastiality and i’m also panicking about that. i have some memories of me being 7ish and doing some questionable things regarding this. ( i know is (in theory) normal for kids that age due to differnt developmental stages and due to the fact that i was groomed as a kid) but the memories play in my head repeatedly and make me really upset. i start gagging and i can’t look at my pets anymore without wanting to hurt myself or throw up. (it’s mostly bad right now, not usually) I always try and distract myself and it usally helps but it’s not right now. i have ocd but every time i think about it i can’t help but question weather or not i’m actually a p3do/like animals. It’s gotten to the point where i start asking people to send me to jail but im staring to think that was a good idea given how terrible my thoughts are. i also have trouble talking to my friends about it because i never know if they will ss my texts and spread that i’m a p3do (they won’t but i get nervous) anyway please give advice/help with any of these issues if you can

Username: katee.evans29

Date posted: 1y ago

i need help

hii everyone, so, it has been about 2 or 3 years I’d say since I’ve been dealing with this. let’s just get right into it, so first, whatever I have (which might be OCD, I’m not entirely sure what it is) has taken over basically most of my childhood, and what kills me is that I’ll never get it back. one thing I know is that im not normal, i now get sleepless nights. why you may ask? because of my horrifying thoughts, “if you don’t look up you’ll be praying to the devil and you’ll go to hell!” “if you don’t say ‘God bless them’ their condition will happen to you!” “if you don’t say ‘good yetho 2x’ (idek..) ‘your mom will die 5x’ you’ll die and forget how to read. “if you don’t put your arms up, look directly up at the ceiling because if you look down you’ll pray to the devil so you need to look up, and say ‘Dear Heavenly Father, I pray that you forgive me for my sins in the name of Jesus Christ Amen.’ you’ll go straight to hell!” or whenever I touch a wall, i need to touch it with my small finger because if I touch it twice with my pointer finger my body will go to hell. it’s an endless cycle, and what’s even worse is that I may never be able to get help. I’ll never get that life back that I wanna live, and it kills me. I’ve named most of the compulsions and obsessions I have and I have 18 compulsions that are physical and about 5 obsessions that I really don’t wanna name right now. anyway, i really don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’ve done a lot of research regarding around disorders, and it’s safe to say that I may have OCD. Now, do i want ocd? absolutely not. however, there’s a family member in my family who has it. so the chances of me having it are strong, i don’t think I’m able to get better until I’m 18. an adult. I’m 12 years old, my mom has noticed my compulsions and me repeating certain words. but she does nothing, absolutely nothing. instead, she just argues with me over it. if I ever tell my mom to sit down and ask her about getting a test, she would probably call me the R-Slur and tell me I’m crazy. Therefore, I’m all alone in this situation with no one to help me. another obsession I have is about me catching cancer if I don’t do a compulsion or I might get paralyzed and get sleep paralysis. It’s so horrifying, there’s more obsessions and compulsions I have but I really don’t wanna name them right now. I cry almost every day because of how exhausted I am, and how much help i truly want to get but I don’t think I ever will. I’m unsure whether or not I have ocd, people tell me to get a diagnosis. but the situation I am in right now makes it impossible. i have no way of getting tested but I have a good feeling I have ocd, if you’re reading this, please try to give me your thoughts and what I should do, and if I even have OCD. Thanks! :))

Username: Godisgood777

Date posted: 41w ago

I need help asap

I struggled with severe ocd since I was in 2nd grade and now I’m turning 19 so I’ve had it basically my whole life, I’ve had it bc my dad abused my mom when I was little all the way up until I was a teenager and it really hurts me and affects my life. I have intrusive thoughts and images of loved ones getting hurt and I constantly overthink about my relationship and it got worst since I became a mother bc I ALWAYS worry about my daughter and I’m scared and it makes me panic I always think that if I listen to certain songs,take showers,get cute,put on certain clothes,or just take care of myself in general that something will happen and it makes my mental health worse and i have severe anxiety I struggled with pyschosis for 2 weeks and addiction to pills I don’t have money to get a therapist or even health insurance please help me how to stop it bc even when I try to let the thoughts pass through it hurts me and makes me freeze and not even be able to breathe bc of it and I can’t even say certain words bc I overthink that something will happen and it makes me want to take my life

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