Can anyone help?

I have a really fear of my boyfriend cheating on me and it is my most common theme. I think he’s cheating on me when he does anything, for example he would go downstairs to get his drink and bring his phone, because he hasn’t been on his phone whilst he was upstairs with me i automatically thought he was cheating on me by messaging any other girl secretly. I do badly want to ask him about it but i know it’ll make me worse. But what if what i thought was actually true? It feels so real and true.

Username: baileyp4baileyp4

Date posted: 1y ago

hey there! i have dealt with this for a huge portion of my relationship with my current boyfriend. he can literally breathe and i will assume he’s thinking about another girl. to be honest, i have confronted him about it and told him my fears and i feel that that helped me a lot. if he knows about your OCD then you should tell him about ROCD (relationship OCD) and how this is a common thing that happens to people who struggle with it. my best advice would be to reach out to someone and talk it through and rationalize. it could be with your boyfriend or it could be with someone else. if it’s with your boyfriend, don’t accuse him of cheating, but talk him through your fears and why you are having them in the first place. always remember that you’re not a bad person for having these thoughts, they are out of your control and it does not make you any less worthy of having a relationship just because you’re worried about cheating. <3

Username: anonymous1345anonymous1345

Date posted: 1y ago

@baileyp4 Thank you i really appreciate it. I have spoke to him about it but i am trying my best to stop going to him for reassurance as it isn’t going to help me get better in the long run. I hope you are doing okay

Username: OCDMMOCDMM

Date posted: 1y ago

Went through this one really bad. I was 100% convinced my husband was cheating even though I had no evidence besides him having a lack of a sex drive. Honestly going back on my meds made it better. I realized how crazy I was being But when you’re in it you can’t stop obsessing and no one else can understand or talk reason into you

Username: anonymous1345anonymous1345

Date posted: 1y ago

@OCDMM Did you speak to him about it and confront him? As i tend to confront him which i know is bad. Yes omg i feel like whatever anyone says i am still convinced he is cheating on me, it’s horrible. I feel like i can’t do anything anymore

Username: OCDMMOCDMM

Date posted: 1y ago

@anonymous1345 I did confront him since we were having an issue with intimacy and he was being really distant. He apologized and said it had nothing to do with me and he wasn’t cheating on me, he was just really stressed. Once I leveled out with my meds I believed what he said. I still have flare ups though where I’m convinced. He now has a job where he travels a ton and I sometimes get in my head about it. Do you have any reason to think he’s cheating?

Username: anonymous1345anonymous1345

Date posted: 1y ago

i’m glad your meds helped you and it’s really normal to have flare ups as i can have a really bad day where my thoughts are awful and the next day they may have calmed a bit. i don’t have a reason, other than a few months into the relationship i saw he had saved a couple pictures of this one girl on snapchat. we have spoke about it and he has really showed me he is sorry. I don’t think about this anymore though, it will only come into my mind when i get a thought of him doing the same thing again

Username: OCDMMOCDMM

Date posted: 1y ago

@anonymous1345 Yeah, boys are kind of gross like that sometimes. Doesn’t mean he’s cheating but it would definitely upset me to see that as well

Username: sgray4

Date posted: 14w ago

Relationship doubts

I’ve been struggling with relationship OCD and differentiating between what is an intrusive thought and what is a real doubt. I was really happy with my partner then I got one aggressive thought that I didn’t love him and this spiralled into noticing all his flaws. I struggle being around him because I feel a huge sense of guilt that these thoughts even come into my head and I cannot figure out if this is my brain lying to me or this is how I feel. It’s really impacting a relationship that is so important to me.

Relationship OCD

Username: Mariabae

Date posted: 22d ago

i feel bad

i feel so bad for posting here, idk what i wamt i have so many thoughts abt the feelings i have for my bf im scared my thughts are true or that they will be true and i feel bad for feeling amd thinking this way i such a bad girlfriend, i am scared that i like other people just because i look at them or talk to them normally and i feel like a liar what cam i do to stop feeling like this i am scared

Username: Mariabae

Date posted: 20d ago

i feel so bad about this i cant stop

Lately, I’ve been struggling with feelings that I might be sabotaging myself in my relationship. By sabotage, I mean that I find it hard to stop engaging in compulsions, like seeking reassurance or overanalyzing my thoughts. I also sometimes behave badly with my boyfriend, and the intrusive thoughts I have can completely change my mood. I love my boyfriend—he’s such a good, beautiful, and wonderful person—but I’m afraid these thoughts are going to ruin things. I truly want to love him, but I’m scared. I know the thoughts are anxiety-driven, but they still make me question if I’m forcing myself to stay with him. Today, for example, I felt okay earlier, but when he called me on video, I suddenly felt like I didn’t feel anything, and I started thinking I don’t like how he looks. These thoughts hit me like a wave, and I panicked. Usually, I find him very attractive, but when these thoughts come, I feel sad and disconnected. What’s confusing is that I also have many moments—like today and in the past few days—where I’ve felt really good and I’ve felt love for him. I feel awful writing this because my boyfriend doesn’t deserve this, and I feel like I’m posting out of habit. It makes me scared that I don’t want to accept the truth, even though I know I care about him. I hate feeling this way because it feels like I’m betraying him by having these thoughts and posting them. Has anyone else dealt with these feelings of sabotaging their relationship or feeling like they’re forcing themselves to stay? How do you cope when the thoughts feel like they’re true, and how do you work through the fear of letting go of anxiety

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