Scrupulously

hey, I have been having really bad thoughts religiously. I have always been afraid I was gonna commit the unforgivable sin, which was blasphemy against the holy spirit. I have horrible intrusive thoughts, and always being worried the devil will take over or possess me. I feel like everytime I get a intrusive thoight I must apolgize to God asap, multiple times. I find myself, doing it for hours. It always has to do with numbers. I also have a hard time walking through doorways, or getting into or out bed multiple times or i’m afraid God won’t forgive me. I also have a really hard time writing the word God, or praying cause I have to picture God correctly, and make sure it’s not the devil so I know i’m praying to God. Is this something you guys are experiencing too?

ryguycraig

Date posted: 2y

I’m no longer a follower of the faith but was brought up in a strong Christian house and this very thought would plague me at night. Committing blasphemy and having to burn in hell for eternity. I remember thinking “well I’ve used his name in vain so what’s the point of even existing?” Also, when I would pray at night I would “ask” god multiple times usually increments of 3 or 5 revolving around certain issues, almost feeling that the multiple asks would move that one up the queue.

rocketship555

Date posted: 2y

@ryguycraig thank you, i’m terrified of going to hell. I haven’t actually physically committed blasphemy, but I have horrible intrusive thoughts and at times, I feel like it’s wanted or I have committed it and I don’t remember.

geldaofzelda

Date posted: 2y

When I was young and experienced my first onset of OCD (which I didn’t realize it had until recently) I went through all of these. I would incessantly search up if I was going to hell for such and such, I would purposely hurt myself because I knew that those I’d love would go to hell for being gay or such and such and I needed to see how much I could handle and it was unfair that I would be able to stop but they can’t. When I was doing something “sinful” and I would picture a demon I would have to stop immediately and apologize over and over. Eventually I got over it but it took forever. Now, I look back and feel so sorry for myself because it’s so unfair anyone has to go through this. It is really terrible. I’ve found that researching biblical history and theology has made me feel so much better. I’d suggest reading “the origin of Satan” by Elaine Pagels. Based on your language, it’s safe to assume you’re still Christian and Elaine Pagels is too, she talks about how she obsessed over going to hell and the afterlife and how she discovered that much of what we perceive of the Bible and hell is and has been subject to human error and influence.

rocketship555

Date posted: 2y

@geldaofzelda thank you so much. This helps, me so much. I hurt myself because of my sinful intrusive thoughts. I feel like these or things I want. It started getting where I was so scared to get a horrible thought and then I got one. I will read that, and message you. I am 14 years old, and I have had this since I was little. Unfortunately it latched onto my religion. God and Jesus mean so much to me, at times I wish I was a normal girl, and could live without these thoughts in the Christian world. I’ve seen lots of documentaries about how God and Jesus will never punish someone with ocd. But this ocd has fs pushed me away from my faith, I don’t pray because of the amount of times it takes me from my compulsions.

Anonymous

Date posted: 15w

Religious OCD, ashamed of my thoughts

I am a christian guy who grew up in a christian community and family. For as long as i remember, ive had horrible thoughts about all kinds of things that i dont know where to begin. Due to my extreme thoughts, i feel as if i am unworthy of practicing my religioin, such as praying, reading, meditating, etc. I feel ashamed when i go to church, as if i dont belong there because i feel like i am secretely evil, and that God knows i am evil and i am committing blasphemy by going there, and refusing to "repent", from my thoughts. But then again, my thoughts are just thoughts, sure. So whats the problem? - The problem is that in my faith, i have been taught that we must control our thoughts, so they do not get power over us to make us commit sin. Such as "If you think lustfully about a woman, you have already committed adultery with her in your heart". This verse has killed my self esteem, due to the constant unwanted sexual and disturbing thoughts. It makes me feel like a monster, who secretely just wants to abuse and be horrible to people, even though i know very well i do not want this. Sometimes i think horrible things about the people i love very much, such as my girlfriend. It feels so wrong and evil, even though i know it isnt my true will.

M✨️

Date posted: 12w

I'm tired / ROCD

Have you ever been through Very bad thoughts about your brain wants to twist anything about good or bad like evil and good which is god and sat*n and panicking because you believe In god but your brain is messing with you have you ever felt like you're afraid you had commit blasmphy in your thoughts It's very bad thoughts like omg where does these toughts come from?? Please tell me your experience One moment I feel okay and I can pray and vent to god and other moment I'm so ashamed of myself for thinking like that Am I alone in this am I crazy?

CJ_022

Date posted: 12w

Scrupulosity

Been having blasphemous intrusive thoughts about God. Then sometimes I’m really struggling and I feel resentful, sometimes even towards God, which I know is not right, I want to have reverence. But it feels like sometimes I think the blasphemous thoughts on purpose because of my anger. I don’t know if this is an OCD issue or an issue of my heart or both. But yeah I don’t know what to do.

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