This just feels to hard to see through. I’ve posted about recovery and now I just feel like a liar. Having a massive flair up right now. I’m putting on such a brave and happy face to the world but I don’t feel strong! I’m so lost. If anyone could talk I would appreciate it.
Don’t feel embarrassed and dumb for having a flair up! You’re not a liar at all. You DID feel strong and recovered at one point, and now you’re just having a flair up. It’s normal and it’s okay! It will pass & you will be okay again. Feel your emotions, sit with the discomfort, and take it a day at a time
@kmk01 I just really don’t like this. I feel so afraid of everything.
@Ditto There is never a “right” answer to OCD & how to get rid of the fear. My advice to you would be to practice ERP therapy & to remind yourself in the discomfort that it will pass. The things you’re afraid might FEEL real, but it’s not FACTUAL that they’re real. Hang in there! <3
@kmk01 Thank you. It’s so nice to have these reminders 🥺💙
I just feel embarrassed and dumb. I feel so useless.
Sometimes days like this feel like they will last forever. Mine certainly do. Lucky for us they typically don’t. We are here for you. You are not alone. You’re not perfect. Bad days can still happen to any one of us. It’s frustrating because ocd tries to trick you into thinking you are cured. Only to wack you over the head when you are feeling vulnerable.
@Ghostdog Thank you. It’s nice to know this community is here 😓 OCD is so isolating. I want so much for life to be perfect that I crack when it’s not. I get so obsessive 😓😓 I’m going to snuggle with my husband and get some sleep. Today and this weekend was hard.
@Ditto I’m a perfectionist too. I worry whether or not I’m doing ERP right. I also over apologize.
@Ghostdog Omg! I do the same. I worry I’m not doing it right.
@Ditto Good luck ❤️ something that has helped me a lot with symptoms similar to yours is not only accepting “anxiety” but accepting UNCERTAINTY … about everything. Truly letting the worst of the worst I’m afraid of float over me (I warn you, it’s not a fun feeling, it’s quite scary) but I keep telling myself “I do not know if that is true. I can’t ever know if that is true or not.” And accepting the fear and emotional pain that happens because of that. I am NOT a therapist so talk to a professional before you try this alone. Rooting for you ❤️
I know this feeling! You’re not stupid or dumb. Everyone has a flair up sometimes, and those flair ups can sometimes make the progress you’ve made feel like nothing. But that progress and strength is still there. You will get past this and it will only make you stronger!
You aren’t alone! The same thing happened with me; I posted about my progress but only a few days later I had a terrible flare up and was so done with everything. Flare ups are inevitable but it doesn’t mean you lied or failed- it’s quite the opposite. It shows your courage to keep fighting despite how hard OCD hits. The lower you fall, the higher you’ll rise 🩷
I'm going through a rough time. I used to think medication would brighten my world, but if anything, it's muted it. The physical anxiety is less, and I felt okay(ish) for a while, but things are getting bad again. I'm so afraid I'll never get to a point where I feel safe in my body and in my mind. Today is the first day I've cried in... I don't know how long. But I didn't feel the relief I thought I would. Initially, I did, but it morphed into dread, and now I'm sitting by myself, trying not to panic. I really want to begin seeing a therapist for OCD, but I don't know how much my insurance covers. There's just so much on my mind right now. A whole bunch of old themes are resurfacing. I wish I could've been given a different path in life. I'm trying to stay strong. It's just really difficult. I feel like I'm being sent back to square one :(
I was doing so great for about a month, ups and downs. Now I’m riddled with anxiety. I’m trying to push through, I’ve been cooking and doing other things that make me feel productive. I had Covid like two weeks ago, felt better for 3 days (exhausted though) and boom I get hit with strep throat. My anxiety is through the roof, rejection sensitivity is all I know right now. Ruminating turned up to max volume that I keep having to slam down. I’m feeling pretty hopeless and lonely. I feel scared and full of shame. My body hurts and my throat is killing me. I’m so exhausted. I feel like I’m on 1% I just needed to vent a bit but if anyone has any advice I’d appreciate it so much
tw . . . . . . I don't want to trigger anyone, so please be warned before reading. I'm feeling pretty hopeless. I don't know if I deserve... anything. I've had two therapists now tell me I'm normal and I don't need to worry so much, but I find it hard to believe them. Just when I think I'm doing okay, thoughts flood back in. I feel like the world is better off without me in it and that others would agree if they weren't a paid therapist there to give me reassurance. I'm tempted to break up with my boyfriend because he doesn't deserve this. I want to pretend I'm okay for the sake of my parents. But if they passed away, I'm not sure I'd have much strength to live for myself. This feeling is pretty bad right now. Overwhelming. I have absolutely no love for myself. I can't even distract myself by watching TV or shows I love, because all I can think is, "Look at those people. They deserve to live and be happy, and I'm not one of them." Gah, this is bad. I'm an adult, and I feel like such a baby for feeling this way. How dramatic am I? How can other people have similar (if not worse) thoughts than me, and then still be ok with themselves? I miss the person I used to be. I miss feeling okay. I feel ok momentarily, but then it all comes crashing down. I can't stand it. All I want is for things to go back to how they used to be.
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