I’m really freaking out right now. I keep reading things. I keep getting scared and panicking myself. I’m sweating like crazy right now. Idk if I’m actually lesbian or it’s ocd. I keep reading things and people answer with there’s no such this as hocd and stuff. And how someone had ocd and thought they were bi but officially said they were gay. I’m so scared rn.

I’m so afraid I might be lesbian. I was very anxious at first but it started to calm down. I’m only 15 and I have a boyfriend I love. At least I think I do, I always chose to question everything and over analyze. I found out about hocd and it described everything I was feeling. I’d take test and read articles like “am I lesbian” but I have never fantasied a girl or wanted to be with a girl sexually or romantically. But what if I’m in denial? I do think girls are physically attractive but I never crushed on a girl. I have always crushed on boys. And liked being with them. I’m just so lost. My anxiety about it had calmed down. But the question is still there sometimes. Earlier today, I found a girl pretty and I got scared thinking that meant something. Then I read about women who have married men, but they know they’re lesbian. I’m scared that that’ll Happen to me. I don’t want to be lesbian. No disrespect. But I just want to be happy. I think I’ve suffered from ocd before. Tell me anyone if I’m wrong. But I used to have thoughts of that my boyfriend would murder me in the future because of theses videos that triggered me. It caused me so much pain and felt so real. That I eventually started to think I’d murder my mom and sister for no reason. I felt so helpless. But I got through it. I hope I get through this. Please any advice? Is this hocd?? Does anyone else feel this way?

(I'm sorry for my English but I'm not native speaker) Hey im very stressed so I need to share my story. I think I have hocd for like 2 months. I'm so stressed to go to therapist because l'm scared that he won't be aware of ocd and he won't give me a good resonance in my case i don’t think that in my country it’s know topic. So I wanna ask you what you guys think of it. I'm so scared that I’m lesbian and I'm just in denial. I've never liked girls but l've never had bad feelings about homosexual people, I had lesbian friend and two gay friends and it was always normal for me, but I just always knew that I like boys because l've always had crushes on boys, I enjoyed reading love novels or erotic novels and it was what I knew I want. And I have a very good friend, we even call each other sister because since we met we had a lot in common, we were very comfortable with yourself, we were taking baths in bathtub together talking about boys and we were drinking wine and it was our tradition , we even kissed on party because we played truth or dare with boys and other girls and we never had second thoughts about it I asked even my sister if it’s weird and she said that she also kissed a girl when she was young and she also saw her friend naked.. she said that we all woman so that’s not weird and don’t identify my sexuality (I asked her now when I have this thought not then), it never even bother me because I knew it didn't meant anything in sexual or romantic way to me. But when I told my flat mate because he asked me how close we are because even tho we studying in different towns we still manage to have contact or to meet and I told him that she is like my sister, we know everything about our selves and I said "bro she saw me naked and we even kissed on party, so think she knows me better than anybody else" (we were 16 then and now l'm 20 and never had questioning my sexuality since now) and then he said "it's sound so lesbian, I think you are bi, for sure you are bi" and at first i was like yyy no and it didn't bother me really, but later I had a lot of stress.. final exams, and I don't know why but I was worried about my health so badly because somehow I thought that I have cancer and I felt very sick, I was vomiting from stress I was crying all night but I go to doctor and he said that I just have some problem with period but since then I was very unstable about my mental health and I started to think what if he was right and I stared to obsessing, I couldn't eat and sleep, I was crying for 3 days all the time, even my flat mates were worried and since then I'm so anxious that maybe he was right and my thoughts now tell my that for sure I like this and at the same time when I think about be with woman but not in sexual way but like be with her in relationships at first I think I want it but the Il'm so anxious so I think that's not the thing. But what is worrying me the most that nothing give me joy.. I'm bookworm I loved to read I loved romance novels and now I think I can't read them, I'm procrastinating (and I was always very active and I loved to study) I can't watch my favorite shows because there are homosexual couples and in the past it didn't bother me but now it is. I also wonder..In childhood because of my parents divorced and very bad situation in home (violence and My mom was twice in mental hospital because she had depression) when I was 6 my teacher saw that I had problems with stuttering and i had something like compulsive blinking (?) I was blinking like all the time and back then I was going to child psychologist because I was scared of people and I was reacting with crying and stress when someone were looking at me with anger (or I just thought that person is mad at me)But I thought that I gone through this. Can it have influence on my mental health right now? Please help me. I'm crying even while l'm writing it, I even had thoughts that's it's better to be dead than be lesbian and I'm very stressed because l'm worried that I will never like bovs again. I’m so sick of questioning every single move and tik tok and social media give me also a lot anxiety. Pleas help me.

Hi just for reference, I’m a girl, I’m almost 17 and I’ve been boy crazy for pretty much all my life. I- I don’t even know what to think anymore, I identify as straight and enjoy thinking about men sexually and emotionally, but I can also masterbate to women weirdly enough? I’ve been diagnosed with pure ocd and I have no desire to have any sexual or emotional relationships with women in real life, and I’ve had hocd for over a year now, but I can masterbate to weird things sometimes and I know I’m not supposed to but I compulsively search things up very often and from what I’ve found most people would say that it would mean that I’m bi. The idea of being bi or gay has made me hyperventilate and cry god knows how many times, at this point I wouldn’t even be angry if I was bi or gay but I know that I’m not. My head keeps telling me that since I can masterbate to gay thoughts or lesbian thoughts sometimes that it means that I’m not straight even though I have no desire to do anything even remotely close to that in real life. This is one of my worst themes of ocd so far as compared to other people who have hocd they don’t get turned on or finish thinking about these things and I do but I don’t identify as bi or gay. I just, I don’t know what to do anymore? I was hoping someone on here goes through the same thing? And I’d really rather not hear that it’s just me denying it, I have a few people I talk to and occasionally when I bring it up they just say I’m in denial so I really don’t know what to do anymore.