What are some ways that have helped you overcome the fear that your child will be abused/SA? If you are a survivor of childhood abuse/SA—Do you feel that fear is worse because you’re a survivor? Thank you in advance! I became a parent this year & since my child has reached 2-3 months these fears have been eating me alive. As a survivor myself, I feel my trust level is on 0 because of my abuser.
As a Christian, I learned that my children are really God’s. He entrusted my husband and me to be their parents. I pray for them every day to be protected body, mind and spirit. They are adults now and we are all close. Have faith.
I can totally relate. I had the talk with my son around 4 and I still talk to him about body safety. It is not irrational and totally warranted.
It's important to remember that OCD latches onto the things you care most about. It makes sense that it is latching onto your child. Being a parent is likely very important to you. I think you need to find balance- as a trauma survivor, you are going to be more insightful and aware than most people. You can educate your child as appropriate but at the end of the day- there are always going to be what-ifs, especially when you have OCD- OCD is always going to tell you the 'worst-case' scenario, it is being mindful that there is bad in the world, doing your part to protect and educate yourchild, and not living life in total fear in which the child never learns the value of safe people and interactions. I hope that this helps- unfortunately, there is no 'easy answer'.
I can relate to this, I am a survivor, have a 2 year old and have POCD around her. Altogether I'm hyper-vigilant of anyone, she's not left alone with any male relative regardless of how safe my husband thinks they are and she's not allowed sleep overs until she can communicate clearly and there are still places I wouldn't feel comfortable with her staying and so she won't. I sometimes feel irrational but I know it can happen and I would never forgive myself for being so aware of it and it then happening to her. We use the correct body terms and are clear to her on her own privacy and being able to say no to anyone about kissing/hugging etc. I know one day she'll spend the night elsewhere but for now, she's 2, I'm her voice and I'm fiercely protective.
Has anyone had this fear that they were abused in childhood and just don’t remember? And that’s why you have harm related thoughts? Like, I kept thinking if my mom abused me in childhood even though I had not ever thought or felt that way before, it came up a few months ago when my therapist was talking about complex PTSD which then freaked me out thinking something super horrific happened in my childhood and I just don’t remember it. My mom and I are super close, always have been. My mom was protective of me, but never in an abusive sense. She would just worry whenever I went out with friends and such, and wanted me to text her every now and again to let me know what was going on. Even in adulthood she sometimes wants to check in on me if I go out somewhere (even though we live together) and she even tells me to not worry about it and she knows it’s just her anxiety that gets the best of her, thinking something bad happened or what not. Anyway, I kept thinking about this and I thought is this abusive behavior? My mom wanting to check in on me? And I think of course not, it shows she cares and loves me. It’s not like she’s a hounding my phone every second or what not, just a text or a call to see what’s up. But my mind takes it further and thinks this is controlling behavior or something. So it goes back to the was I abused in childhood and I just have repressed memories, and that’s why I get harm thoughts towards my mom. I’m always thinking there is a deeper meaning. I never even thought that before in my life, about the abuse part, but it has become stuck in my mind and I’m scared it will ruin my relationship with my mom.
Can I please get someone’s opinion on this. I am scared of having my own baby. I’m terrified of the diaper changes. I have the same intrusive thought that I would kiss my child’s genitalia during this. I feel like I could possibly justify it by saying it’s out of love. I’m sure there are parents who have done it in a non sexual way which scares me too. I don’t know if that’s a real possibility but my brain tells me it is. I’m scared that I don’t know if this is right or wrong. And I’m just scared I’ll love my baby so much I won’t see anything wrong with it. I know we’re supposed to sit with uncertainty but this one is killing me and I don’t know how to deal with this.
My ocd is ruining my relationship with my kids. Because of the intrusive thoughts I avoid being close to them, hugging or cuddling up to watch tv. My ocd is either telling me I wouldn’t care if harm came to them or it turns everything into something sexual or inappropriate. For example, my daughter wanted to show me how long her nails are so she started scratching my arm gently. It felt so nice and relaxing and I immediately panicked because I was scared the ocd would cause a groinal and I don’t ever, ever want a feeling like that connected with my child even though I know it’s the ocd causing it and not me i’d still feel horrible. I just want to be a normal loving affectionate mom and I can never be that for my kids because of ocd😪 I don’t see any other parents posting about going through this or commenting that they do and how they cope. I feel so alone and defeated.
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