It’s so bad

@starboyram Thank you so much I really appreciate it wishing u strength,love and kindness for what ur going through I hope this soon passes for you as well😢

@luelleiie I don’t think she does she’s a M.A LPC , and honestly it’s embarrassing but yes and I feel like I’m always monitoring myself and it makes it even worse, i overthink to the point it’s just too much

@idonknow Oh and the reassurance of the asking I would always do that as well.

@JordTheNord I really appreciate you taking ur time to talk to me ab this yess just in general I’m scared to make contact with people now to prevent it ,and Well I’ve done a lot of really stupid things I regret doing from when I was a kid and it feeds in to my worries about being a bad person I know I’ve changed but sometimes Ive had even like sexual intrusive thoughts that i don’t wanna have and recently I’ve been really over analyzing everything and i feel horrible again thank u so much for this I wish it would all stop bc i honestly feel like a perverted burden and I’ve just been avoiding stuff even more then i usually do lol I just turned 18 and i don’t wanna keep living like this it’s honestly sad i think my medicine helped me but i recently stopped taking it

@idonknow Have you talked to a therapist? What made you stop taking your meds? I understand the mistakes (sometimes petty and sometimes bigger ones) we make when we are younger and don’t know any better how they creep in and make us constantly question ourselves. They do not define us it’s just a lesson to move forward and own our choices and learn from them. A rule applied to us all. Great you have even said you changed! Just means you ARE NOT those things. Yep OCD definitely makes us over analyze everything. If you feel like you’re sexual intrusive thoughts stem from being a sexual person ( lots of ppl are like this) from jokes and very intimate physical relations with a partner. You can express yourself more and it might be feeding into a higher sexual drive because you’re losing physical contact and even bumping into someone is causing you to shame yourself. That is just an opinion though. It is very exhausting to deal with especially when it feels like you’re isolating yourself because you don’t want to be a burden.

@JordTheNord I have talked to a therapist I haven’t told her really detailed but she knows how I worry just being around people and how I get intrusive thoughts I don’t believe she’s specialized in ocd ,I stopped taking my medication bc I wondered if my medicine was the only thing keeping me happy and I feel upset that I can’t just be happy on my own, I always tell myself I’m gonna just try and not think and just live then my anxiety just creeps back in somehow ,and ur right about it being exhausting I just wanna be normal again 😭

@idonknow You are normal! Listen, our OCD and we don’t even have to call it that we can just say our habits in our mind that are affecting our quality of life is not beneficial. However stress, anxiety, and worry are all useful components in keeping us safe and healthy as well. It’s when they dictate our life and are out of context when it becomes destructive. That’s why ppl that are not diagnosed with OCD (and I mean that they do not suffer from it) have intrusive thoughts but their turn around time with coping is far superior than ours. That’s all. You are normal. Terrible things done in the human race: rape, corruption, lying, bullying, are actually “normal” otherwise it wouldn’t be so apparent or not possible. Just like having mistakes and failures is normal for us. Look at it as you feel out of balance. Now I know that isn’t a pat on the back but your balance is off if you feel like you’re being overrun with your intrusive thoughts. Because on great days ANYONE has intrusive thoughts but they just don’t care anymore. But you are a member of the human race and you are normal and it’s our duty as ppl to be there for one another and look after and of course absolutely protect each other and prevent said terrible acts on one another. You’re anxiety is a healthy emotion that alarms you of potential danger and the worry part is a symptom of anxiety. Everything has its place we just need to utilize it for what it is. In our case we are doing our best to balance out our thoughts

@idonknow Oh I also forgot to talk about, I personally choose not to take medication either because I do not want to become dependent. Now I will never knock anyone on it especially if it helps them because I want all ppl to find peace from this. I’m just in charge of me. Now you looking down on yourself for wanting to take the medicine is slightly different. We all need help in some form. Inner strength is amazing but having something that helps us is truly a blessing. Books, podcasts, games, loved ones have all helped me. On some level I was dependent on them too. We coexist with everything both alive and non. If you had no family or friends or food or water that would be hard to be happy without personally (extreme I know but I know you get the point). Do not feel shame in having help because in reality we are all dependent on something. Pride is the greatest sin whether we are religious or not. It is and always will be true.

@JordTheNord honestly thank u so much ur words mean a lot and i am really gonna consider going back to my medication because I know it did help me a lot and I really hope u continue to do well in life the anxiety of it all is a horrible thing to deal with I admire ur strength !

@JordTheNord My mom brought something up to me and she honestly made a pretty good point she was talking about how certain people physically can’t live without there medication like someone who needs there heart medication cant just stop taking It and I never looked at it that way

@idonknow Thank you so much! That is a good point. Plus you can always ask a therapist how to ween off your meds and how to possibly eventually never need to have to use it. Just in case you want to go that route and not have to take meds. Do what’s best for you. There is no shame in what is best for us

@Stacy Quick Yesss and then I start worrying like was it intentional or like what if it’s something more I am definitely gonna check her out thank u!