is this related to ocd or is it my anxiety?

i have a severe problem with people pleasing. i obsess over how i look, or how i act. if someone doesn’t like something then i shouldn’t like it. or if someone likes something i don’t then there’s something wrong w me. i feel like if i don’t do or act like someone else then i’m doing it wrong. it’s tiring and i just want to not feel like this anymore. i don’t want to care ab what others think or want of me. i want my own opinion and i want my own feelings to matter to me.

lu22

Date posted: 2y

I think maybe both and a bit of low self esteem perhaps? I’m always worried people will think I’m ugly and use to avoid going out for a few years because I didn’t like the way I looked and I also felt like I would change my interests for other people or change myself to fit in. Or I didn’t trust my own opinion always have to get someone else’s opinion even over the most simplest things. I think these types of problems could tie in under a lot of things but I think low self esteem plays a big part I don’t know if you are confident or feel low in yourself at times?

kakeyboo18

Date posted: 2y

@lu22 i have really low self esteem so i guess this answers it 😭 thank you

lu22

Date posted: 2y

@kakeyboo18 I think it’s just a case of deciding whether you want to be a sheep a follow the rest of the cattle or be a lion leading the pack, embrace what you like, there will always be people out there, maybe you haven’t met them yet, that will enjoy the same things as you and appreciate you, if those people decide they don’t like or want to be around you after you start being ‘you’ and embracing your interests then clearly they weren’t great friends from the start. No point trying to please people it won’t make them like you more they will just end up taking advantage of you, you can be kind without letting people walk all over you

kakeyboo18

Date posted: 2y

@lu22 i am also really socially awkward. so making friends that understand me is hard. not impossible, just hard. i think once i go to college my perspective will change bc there’ll be more people and a greater chance of meeting someone who’s sorta like me. i cant seem to do that here bc i’ve always been that shy girl, and i feel like i can’t just switch up and be someone different. i fit in a stereotype ig and i’m scared to break it.

kakeyboo18

Date posted: 2y

@lu22 but your right. there are ppl that i’ve met (such as the few friends i have) who understand me. i just get frustrated that i am still bad at social skills.

Mreow

Date posted: 2y

Our doubting disorders can make confidence difficult, bc we even can doubt our own decision making and instincts, so maybe that adds to low self esteem. Look into “core fears”. These can fuel ocd. And maybe one of your core fears relates to rejection or something like that. OFC, OCD is gonna just make that fear bigger coz then we ruminate on our insecurities Idk if that makes sense, I’m figuring it all out too..

Mreow

Date posted: 2y

@MeowMix I think part of my “just right ocd” is bcoz of this core fear of feeling bad about myself in a lot of ways

kakeyboo18

Date posted: 2y

@MeowMix i think it’s a very valid possibility it could be stemmed from rejection. i have been bullied as a kid/preteen so 🤷‍♀️

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