Im scared being near people because I’m worried i might sexually assault them or even bump in to them I’ll start overthinking like idek it just worries me a lot and I have spent a lot less time with my family it makes me sad to pull away from them and I’d rather just be asleep all day to avoid the thoughts sometimes I just cry it gets so hard and I feel horrible
I also was is simmilar state as you. I had many intrusive thoughts all day and anxiety and panic. I cryed at home and wanted to sleep, was so tired... then i get a glipse of hope trought ACT therapy - acceptance and commitment. It stated that we can live fully valuable life even when we have OCD... we can either focus all our attention to our suffering, or we can accept it as part of life and focus more on values and living. It giveth me hope, but first it was hard. I needed courage to live full life according values despite OCD. To meet close people even when I had intrusive thoughts about them. It gradually started to be better and better, my mind started to reprogramming. So there is real hope for help. I had all kind of bizzare taboo gore OCD, but i refused to believe it and slowly started to living. Dont try to solve OCD to be fully alive, live fully and your OCD will have less and less space. Some days are still hard I am not copletely recovered yet, but spending attention on life and having courage to live and having compassion and acceptance of myself even when I have thoughts really helped me. You ca ask " how can I have compassiont to myself if I have these horible thoughts? " ... better to ask " have can I be without compassion to myself if i am going trought something so painfull like this" of course I will have compassion...you would have to your best friend if he/she had OCD... do not fear to live OCD fears never came true, they only overshadow your life. By starting to live again you can give less and less space to OCD and you will recover. It is a process, but recovery is possible.
@drak4 Thank u so much it means a lot I’m looking to continue therapy for these thoughts and feelings and I’m scared bc it’s just embarrassing to talk about ,sometimes I worry what if I’ve acted on really bad horrible intrusive thoughts and just have zero memory, and that thought really really scares me , I’m trying everyday to try and accept the unacceptable im so scared this is all I’ll ever be too, but your honestly right I’m gonna try and not solve it because I think it’s genuinely eating me up so bad ,it’s all ill ever think about at times
@idonknow I wish you courage and compassion - two best things for recovery I think. I know you can refocus on living your life and not engage with these thoughts. And these thoughs will fade away when you will non engage with them...you can always refocus when these thoughts came ... our minds are as machines we feed them by giving attention to something...when you refocus you show your mind intrusive thoughts are not important they are spam of mind...and you feed your mind with other things...it give then give you other thoughts... it is as with music stuck in your head... you can reprogram to good music and accepting sometimes bad music... ... therapy is not about talking, but about new ways of thinking about your intrusive thoughts... engagement and solving not help...non engagement and refocusing yes :)
I constantly am monitoring my self my hands my legs even down there it’s all I think about my therapist mentioned going through an ocd screening bc I mentioned my concerns about it but I know I need to help myself too idk how
@idonknow This used to happen to me too
@twerp May i ask how u overcame it?
Sorry to hear all of this that sounds insanely difficult and scary. Do you have any close friends that you trust who know about your ocd that you could comfortably spend a little time with? Even if it’s just a few minutes in a Public space where you can have distance between yourselves. That might be a good first step. Of course not a professional opinion by any means just an idea. Do what youre comfortable with
@Theron_ Thank u for ur comment and no not really some of my family knows but idk I’m worried to be around them they don’t really understand where I’m coming from and I get it , but it just makes it a bit more difficult I feel bad I’m constantly putting them through like having to see me this way and Idk
@idonknow try not to feel guilty about working through your problems nothing wrong with that. Talk to your therapist to see a good game plan but start small
Sorry you’re going through this. I’m not an expert. What I do know is OCD is a liar and bully. That being said, you don’t pay attention to the liar and you bravely face the bully. Perhaps you can start doing some small exposures in defiance of what OCD says. Consider getting help from someone specially trained in ocd therapy or reach out to the NOCD Care Team available through this app. Hoping this helps you!!!
Okay so everything is literally a trigger for me due to my family members due to my covers and due to my own clothes and also animals Espically my dogs.Okay so I’m in high school still young these thoughts started happening around this year and has became worst to the point I had to go to a mental institution this summer around June I struggle from sexual ocd where my mind literally sexual everything and I do mean everything I can’t look at my animals because I’m afraid I would want to look at their butts or other areas so I just don’t look at them or my sister we sleep in the same room together I have a bed and she has one I use to like to toss and turn to get comfortable so I would flip sides over again until I fall asleep but now I can’t do that because I use to have a thought of looking at her butt so now I just lay on my side facing the wall I’ve been doing this for the whole summer because she goes back to college in August I also hide my family faces from my preview when we’re all in the living room watching something so I don’t see their private parts what made me go to the mental institution this summer was me having the thought of looking at my sisters underwear drawer I tried to bear the thought by again covering the drawer with my cover from my preview or just looking at my phone all day or making myself go to sleep but o end up just telling her to remove it from our room after a couple days later I couldn’t look at my family faces which made me go to the mental institution because I was afraid I was never gonna be able to look at their faces again the mental institution did not help because I was surrounded by kids I also suffer from pocd so I was triggered a lot I would also not look at their faces or even speak to them only if they spoke to me I was there for five days so when I came back home I got a little better but now I’m back to spiraling and I feel like I’m finna go insane again also when I came back home I literally learned all my siblings who were girls was molested expect my oldest one including me and the sister who I’m scared to look at butt who I sleep with was molested by my father and my other sister was molested by my cousin I as well was molested by my cousin not the same one as my sister my mother isn’t very mentally healthy so she of course felt guilty because she believed it was her fault so she started I guess I would say taking it out on us a little so that made me go insane I even started hitting myself repeatedly we went on vacation after the same day and this asshole of a man keeps showing up at our house I just need a little advice how to cope since I know people up here are a little older than me so any advice I’ll take it please .
I can tell I'm avoiding my triggers. Im isolating myself from my friends, I'm only watching specific shows, I dont want to go outside, I dont want to see anyone. Its gotten to the point where I've asked for no intimacy with my boyfriend. We were getting intimate a few nights ago and I had an intense intrusive thought paste itself to my awareness and nothing I could do would make it stop and I had to ask him for space. My heart started pounding and my breathing got quicker. And now I'm afraid it will happen again. I can't stand the idea that I'd have these thoughts while being intimate with my boyfriend, it makes me feel disgusting and I feel bad that he has to date somene like me. I dont know how to face this. I just want to hide. I want to curl up and sleep for the rest of my life. I feel like its over for me idk
i’ve been scared of going out to new places because i’m scared of dissociating and having anxiety- im obsessive over the thought of becoming anxious so i avoid anything that can possibly make me anxious and i’m missing out on key parts in my life- like making memories with my partner, going out to new places, being outside on beautiful days, losing money from calling out of work, and canceling on important plans due to me avoiding this anxiety i’m obsessed with keeping away. it’s a brutal process. i feel crippled and stuck inside at all times.
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