I keep thinking what if I was sexually abused then I said is that why I’m attracted to triggers. But I’m not, am I saying that because I feel false attraction and I believe it’s true when it’s not
I’ve had false memory ocd also with this topic. I can come up with a fake memory of me being sexually abused and OCD takes it and makes it feel real. I start ruminating and reviewing whether it was a possibility or not. It’s really annoying and unsettling.
@Lewis711 I keep confessing that I am attracted then after I’m like ew no can ocd make you confess you like your thoughts when you don’t
@ihateocd3 Yep. Sometimes I have liked them but then I’m like, no, I can’t.
@Lewis711 Wait the pocd thoghts ?
@ihateocd3 Yes.
You aren’t alone bro, it’s a horrible issue but I tend to think about my real desires.
@Lewis711 So I don’t really find them sexually attractive it’s false attraction and me admitting it is only because the attraction feels real
@ihateocd3 Exactly what I get.
@Lewis711 So you admit you find them sexually attractive even if don’t
@ihateocd3 ?
@Lewis711 It’s not really sexual attraction, but it kind of is. For me it’s like impulses of attraction. I know it’s different from my real attraction because I start panicking when I get this attraction.
@ihateocd3 I was saying that I have something similar to you.
@Lewis711 Like I admit in the moment I find them sexually attractive then I’m like ew no I don’t idk why I admit it
@ihateocd3 Yes, that’s what I do.
@Lewis711 What do you do ?
What you just said. Admit to liking it then next minute freaking out because it’s not what I fantasise about.
@Lewis711 What do you admit to liking
@ihateocd3 You just said you admit to liking the thoughts and then going ew I don’t like them and I’m saying I have the same experience.
@Lewis711 Oh ok
@ihateocd3 I can see you are confused and reassurance seeking but you’ve got to try and put up with the feelings but I’m glad there is someone like you out there also struggling with the same issue as it gives me peace of mind. 👍
@Lewis711 I just feel like a horrible person just confessing you have Pocd too?
Yes.
@Lewis711 Can you name a time you confessed
I don’t get what you mean dude.
You could research effects of anxiety on sexual arousal and arousal in pocd it might shed some light, for example anxiety and fear might produce some chemicals in your body that are also produced when you're sexually aroused, so it is known that fear and anxiety usually would be a turn off in desire but in other cases like us it might boost arousal. Thinking about anything sexual will give you a sexual response the primitive brain will not find the difference it just assumes it's sexual and along with those chemicals produced by fear and anxiety it will boost it and of course your brain will identify it as pleasurable but it's fake because it's not the fact that you're attracted to the kid itself but to the thought of it being sexual.
@Grm2 But why do I start confessing that I like it then seconds later I say I don’t
@ihateocd3 Because your mind doesn't tell the difference between reality and illusion for it its pleasure so if you're sending it signs that its pleasurable it will think it is even if it isn't, that or ocd it's similar to your you tourette just that in our case it's saying or thinking stuff we don't want related to our ocd
TW So I haven’t been diagnosed with pocd, but many ppl said that I have it. I was in bed when I remembered this time when I first started experiencing what I hope is false attraction not actual pedophilia, I’m looking back on it rn n I’m worried it wasn’t false attraction, I remember feeling a sense of attraction when I saw that kid, I was about14 at the time and the kid was 11 or 12. I remember constantly searching to see if it was normal for a 14 year old to like a 12 or 11 year old, I was worried when I was doing that i think, I also kept walking pass her to look at her i think to check if i was attracted or not, but it makes me worried that I was attracted to her because im worried that i did it bc i was actually attracted. now looking back on it rn, I don’t feel panic, worry, shame, or guilt, I originally only felt panic and worry, never shame or guilt. Now I don’t feel any of it, not feeling panic and worry now makes me think that I am a p, I don’t want to be a p. I hope im not a p, Ive talked to a therapist and they’ve said that it’s pocd, but it wasn’t a official diagnosis, I’m worried it was a false diagnosis because I lied on one or two of the questions. I also constantly get senses of what I hope is false attraction when I see some kids, I keep trying to figure out if it is real or false attraction. Can someone give me some advice please
TW So I haven’t been diagnosed with pocd, but many ppl said that I have it. I was in bed when I remembered this time when I first started experiencing what I hope is false attraction not actual pedophilia, I’m looking back on it rn n I’m worried it wasn’t false attraction, I remember feeling a sense of attraction when I saw that kid, I was about14 at the time and the kid was 11 or 12. I remember constantly searching to see if it was normal for a 14 year old to like a 12 or 11 year old, I was worried when I was doing that i think, I also kept walking pass her to look at her i think to check if i was attracted or not, but it makes me worried that I was attracted to her because im worried that i did it bc i was actually attracted. now looking back on it rn, I don’t feel panic, worry, shame, or guilt, I originally only felt panic and worry, never shame or guilt. Now I don’t feel any of it, not feeling panic and worry now makes me think that I am a p, I don’t want to be a p. I hope im not a p, Ive talked to a therapist and they’ve said that it’s pocd, but it wasn’t a official diagnosis, I’m worried it was a false diagnosis because I lied on one or two of the questions. I also constantly get senses of what I hope is false attraction when I see some kids, and I keep trying to figure out if it is real or false attraction. Also some other time today I was feeling aroused and I wanted to m#sturbate, but then thoughts of kids started popping up, I think that I didn’t like them, I’m not sure any more, but while I was finishing the thoughts kept comigg by, idk what it means but it felt like I enjoyed it, which made me worried, but after I finished the thoughts disappeared a lot more, idk why that happened idk what it means, could someone give me some advice pls?? I don’t wanna be a pedo. All of that happening makes me feel like I am one, can someone give me advice on what’s happening and what I am??
So I was never diagnosed with pocd but many ppl said that I have it and my therapist also said that I have ocd, I’ve recently been getting these thoughts and feelings of attraction towards kids, idk if it’s real attraction or not, but I worry that it’s true attraction because I don’t feel panic and anxiety towards those thoughts and feelings anymore, I used to feel that, but I also never felt shame or guilt for those thoughts and feelings. I also can’t tell if I want those thoughts and feelings or not. When I get those thoughts and feelings, I tell myself “I can’t be attracted to kids” and “being attracted to kids is bad” and “I wouldn’t like kids”. The main thing is I can tell if I am attracted to the kids or not, I feel like I want to know, but I also don’t know if I want to be attracted to kids or not, yet the attraction feeling feels so genuine, I can’t tell if it’s false or not, I try to compare my attraction towards a girl my age to the feelings I get when I see the kids. I’m also under the age of 16, and I’ve heard that people under the age of 16 are at risk of developing p#dophilia, I’m pretty sure I don’t want to become a pedo. But I can’t tell what I want anymore, I can’t tell if my feelings intrusive or not. Even though some people said that I have “textbook ocd” I still don’t believe it. These feelings and thoughts, I just don’t understand if I want and like them or not, idk if I WANT to like or want them. I also lied on 2 questions for the ocd diagnosis about liking the thoughts which I don’t know if I do or not, I said that I think I don’t when in reality I don’t know if I do or not. And the second question where I said I don’t feel aroused even though sometimes I do, idk why I get aroused for that stuff, idk if I want to be aroused or if I don’t want to be aroused. Can someone give me advice pls? ANT to like or want them. I also lied on 2 questions for the ocd diagnosis about liking the thoughts which I don’t know if I do or not, I said that I think I don’t when in reality I don’t know if I do or not. And the second question where I said I don’t feel aroused even though sometimes I do, idk why I get aroused for that stuff, idk if I want to be aroused or if I don’t want to be aroused. I also used to watch p#rn a lot, I was exposed to it at a young age cause I was a stupid ass kid once, I got addicted to it and watched it every day, when all of these feelings and thoughts started, I completely stopped watching p#rn which fixed that, but now I’m worried it was a sign of something bad because I heard that early porn exposure creates mental issues and stuff, so I don’t know if I have pocd or actual pedophilia anymore. I’m also currently tryin to get a relationship with a girl my age. Can someone give me advice on all of this pls? Idk what all of this means anymore :(
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