I keep getting thoughts like… “I hope she sleeps now.. and longer” Or “i look forward to she gets older and can take care of her self…” I don’t want to think like that… i just want to fucking enjoy the time with my little beautiful daugther… Are these thoughts intrusive… (i don’t want to think like this…. But it makes me question if i don’t like her or being a dad…. 😔
Been there. Still there. My therapist said something to me one day in session when I kept saying “I just don’t know, I just don’t know how I feel.” And she said “You DO know.” We can’t forget that no matter what ocd says we KNOW our values. OCD can confuse us and upset us but it doesn’t change us or our values. You KNOW who you are, OCD is just noise. After doing erp I am getting into a place where I can actually “agree” with the thoughts. For example, one that really bothers me is “you hate your son.” And now I’m able to have that thought and say “oh yeah, totally true ocd… (sarcastic).” “thanks for checking to be sure I love him more than anything.” It’s annoying I know but we can’t let it get us so deeply discouraged, it’s literally just a thought. And we don’t have to explain/rationalize/ fight / question/ compulsively check away a thought!
@Janaraejanarae Do you have or have you had hocd towards your son ??
@____Anonymous_____ Yes unfortunately
@Janaraejanarae Same. How do you get through it? I’m scared it’s the truth. Do you have urges? What thoughts do you have? I hate myself 😞
@____Anonymous_____ Just keep doing erp. Identify your compulsions and commit to not doing them. It’s horrible and every day is a nightmare at times but we got this!!
If you do not want to think like this, and these thoughts keep popping up, they are intrusive. They happen because you are terrified of not being a good enough dad to your daughter. You should do ERP, just tell yourself this is your brain trying to convince you of something you are terrified of, you are not going to believe its lies, you are not going to engage. Not engaging means not even engaging in a feeling of doubt, it doesn't have to be just ruminations. I know it is hard, but I promise you it gets easier, but you have to stop doing compulsions in order for it to get better. We are all going through this, you are not alone, stay strong!
If it’s causing you distress , it’s intrusive . When you have thoughts like that , it’s straight from the enemy , rebuke them in the name of Jesus and kiss your little girl speak against it cause it’s all a lie. 🌻✨
@Sunflower🌻 Yessss. The enemy is so mad because he knows how much we love our kids!
The thoughts give you distress. This is intrusive. The problem isn’t the thoughts themselves. It’s just OCD thoughts, something we all on this app have. But the problem is that you’re assigning MEANING to these thoughts. Like they say something about you. Intrusive thoughts are tricky in that they don’t say what we mean, but they’re an indicator of what we are scared of. It just does it in a really weird and unhelpful way. Parents having intrusive thoughts about their kids WANT to be good parents and WANT to enjoy time with their kids. But because of OCD (a mental disorder that you didn’t ask for) they get intrusive thoughts and then fear about those thoughts. A parent without OCD might have the exact same thought. (Because everybody gets these kinds of intrusive thoughts) But they will shrug and go “that was weird” and then forget about it and go on with their day. Your task for the coming time is to do the same. Let the thoughts be there, but separate them from your own identity, because the thoughts are not real. Don’t do anything to neutralize them. Like: some parents will start saying “I love you” to their child constantly and compulsively to balance out the negative thoughts. Others will start avoiding their child. Or you might be ruminating about the thoughts and checking yourself constantly if you are “enjoying the time” with your daughter or if you love her enough. These are all compulsions that will confirm to your brain that the thoughts have meaning and have to be acted upon. And thus the cycle continues. But the more you’re able to ignore the thoughts and go on with your day as normal, the less they will come up. Next time you think “I hope she sleeps longer.” (Which I think is a thought that every parent has at some point) shrug and go “thanks for that info, brain. I’m not going to engage.” And go on with your brain.
@hen7 LOL that last sentence should be *go on with your DAY 🤣
Kinda in the same boat can a back door spike last a while? Especially cause I’m sick I get thoughts but I don’t feel the anxiety anymore maybe because I don’t feel good and I don’t wanna put my energy into it if that makes sense ?
Recently I’ve been having scary intrusive thoughts about hurting myself or others. I’m so scared, what do I do?? I wouldn’t hurt a fly.
Hello all. I (20 y/o female) have an intrusive thought that popped up about four months ago and has not been able to leave my head ever since and it is ruining my life. I have a memory (?) of when I was about 7-9 years old (although I really have no idea and my brain has told me varying ages even going up a few years) when I was in the shower and turned around to see my dad popping his head in the curtain to (realistically) either check on me or try to scare me as a prank. He is the most wonderful father and has never done anything inappropriate aside from this “incident” but my brain cannot let this go and is trying to convince me that this was sexual. I have always been a “daddy’s girl” but some days I cannot even speak to him on the phone because this fear that I was somehow abused is so deep in my brain. I’ll have days where I can reasonably tell myself that even if this did happen, he did not see it as inappropriate because I am his little girl, but other days it will disgust me to no end. I’ve brought it up with him once when my thoughts were at their worst but he said he didn’t even remember it happening. My brain will randomly go “hey, think about this–you’re a victim” through out the day and it’s like my whole body will shut down, my face gets hot and my heart starts beating faster and I just feel like all of the joy has physically been sucked out of my body. It often leaves me in a depressive episode. I can’t even fathom going to therapy out of the fear of my therapist telling me that this really was concerning behavior on behalf of my dad and I don’t think I could handle that. A little while back I posted this on a subreddit and someone in the comments said “this doesn’t give me a good feeling…. But it could have been innocent if you say so” and I haven’t been able to forget this. It send me into a total tailspin, if someone from an outside perspective says it’s weird then it must be??? Ever since this thought has popped up I can’t act normally. I sometimes can’t even watch movies that have dads in them because it makes me think of it, any time I hear a sex joke my skin crawls and god forbid anyone make a “sweet home Alabama” joke around me. I’ve never seen anything online about people who have experienced this too which just makes my worry so much worse. I’ve experienced OCD symptoms since early childhood however never anything like this which makes me even more scared that it is real. I truly don’t know what to do with myself anymore, every day just feels like the precious minutes I have between the times this thought pops up.
Can I please get someone’s opinion on this. I am scared of having my own baby. I’m terrified of the diaper changes. I have the same intrusive thought that I would kiss my child’s genitalia during this. I feel like I could possibly justify it by saying it’s out of love. I’m sure there are parents who have done it in a non sexual way which scares me too. I don’t know if that’s a real possibility but my brain tells me it is. I’m scared that I don’t know if this is right or wrong. And I’m just scared I’ll love my baby so much I won’t see anything wrong with it. I know we’re supposed to sit with uncertainty but this one is killing me and I don’t know how to deal with this.
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