I hate the thoughts I have when I see little girls that are children.. it’s not fair. I never used to have these thoughts a couples years ago and now they are all I think about. I can’t help but feel like a sick and twisted Individual:(
i can relate to you. i’ve been dealing with pocd for about a year now. it is frustrating to even deal with these thoughts, especially when they never used to plague us before. the best thing You can do is learn that You are not the thoughts that your brain forms. these intrusive thoughts are coming from a place that wants to hurt You. they are not You. when I was first learning how to properly manage these thoughts, I had already had many distressing experiences and experienced trauma as a result of engaging with them. this trauma affected the way I viewed myself, and greatly damaged my self-esteem and confidence. the only control You and We have over these thoughts is to not engage with them. and when You’re starting out, this can feel like trying to tune out music that is really really loud. the more you do it, the more your brain learns that not engaging means less distress and no trauma. it takes a lot of practice and a Lot of Non-engagement for your brain to get good at not attaching to these thoughts. You should not avoid situations where you might encounter triggers (such as seeing a child in public), as facing these triggers with the right mindset (non engagement) will help your brain grow even stronger. nowadays, I have some days where i am more prone to intrusive thoughts, and some days where I forget I even have them. either way, I do not attach myself to these thoughts, and they don’t distress me nearly as much (they are more of a mild annoyance now). thank you for posting and opening up about your struggles, this is a heavy burden to carry and it can be incredibly isolating to deal with. Good luck, it gets better
@thebighugedawg It’s been about 4 months for me but it doesn’t feel like it’s getting better, each time I see a child it triggers me again. The thoughts are so convincing it makes me feel like I want to do something even though that was never me before
yeah our brain can get really good at lying to us, and when we start to believe it it can do a lot of damage to our self image and what we think we’re capable of. i have two things to tell you: if you’re so worried about doing something bad, you have nothing to worry about. Bad people do not worry about being bad people. second, you should try therapy and ERP/CBT(exposure and response prevention, and cognitive behavioral therapy (they’re really similar)). i think seeing an ocd specialized therapist will really help you restore confidence and the knowledge that you are not a bad person.
@thebighugedawg I am currently seeing a therapist through nocd but it’s only my 3rd session tomorrow
Iv lived with this for 2 year now never had these before and I’m 30::: but now it’s all I think about from getting up to going to bed / I feel like I don’t have ocd at all I feel Like I want the thoughts I like the thoughts I get groinal responses from them
Im having weird scary pocd thoughts and i really hate them, i feel like theyre my own thoughts and im freaking out
I am 15 years old and my POCD feels like its not POCD, i feel like i like my intrusive thoughts, but i have more intrusive thoughts about having intrusive thoughts, and i feel like i cant enjoy the things i normally enjoy anymore, like calling with my girlfriend and joking with her because this is still in the back of my mind, its making me question morals and if i ever even viewed P as completely wrong and i hate this so much, i love my nieces and nephews and when they're over i know id never do anything with my intrusive thoughts but when they arent present i feel like i like my thoughts. Before this i was dealing with HOCD and ROCD and i wish i could go back to that
so I’ve been seeking therapy for my OCD for a few years. The theme that I’ve been dealing with most recently is the fear of becoming a pedophile, which then has led to intrusive images of me doing things to kids.Which now is just causing me so much distress and 24/7 constant thought cycle. I am starting to not be able to tell the difference between thoughts that are wanted/ unwanted- the line has become some blurry and these things are starting to feel like someothing i want to do. My brain keeps telling me to just test these thoughts and the “maybe”or”i don’t know” isn’t working. This has become such a barrier because the second layer is that I’m afraid that if I just let the thoughts be there it’ll make me be OK with doing those things and the fear is what’s keeping me from actually doing something inappropriate. It’s also transitioned into intrusive thoughts and images of me doing something very disgusting to my dog and that when I’m cuddling with him I get the thoughts to just do it or try it to see if i am actually a p*do. it’s almost like the compulsion would be to do the inappropriate thing, even though I know it’s wrong just to see how it would make me feel. I feel like i can’t control these urges even though i’ve never acted on it. At any point i could just do it. I’ve never had these thoughts before up until about a year and a half ago when my friend‘s boyfriend got arrested for soliciting a minor then all these thoughts came to life.Has anyone experienced something like this and have any advice?
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