- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 1y
Some thoughts ❤️
Hey guys. I just wanted to come on here and let you all know how strong you are. Ocd is not a choice - it is a malfunction of the brain.. that causes it to prioritize distressing things like obsession, rumination and anxiety. An OCD brain has physical differences to a non ocd brain. I say this to remind you when things are hard. Your brain is physically wired to make this process difficult, it’s not your fault. And all of this causes a war within yourself.. a war that a lot of people don’t see. I was just feeling a bit sad today… looking at the ways that ocd has affected my life. It made me isolate from my family and friends, turned against my best friend, made me question my whole life path and my sexuality endlessly. Sometimes I forget that this isn’t something that the average person experiences. I just assume that everyone lives with this difficulty when making decisions, with the anxiety, with the daily effort to be better and try. I’m dealing with more SOOCD again.. and part of me just grieves for the part of me that used to be so excited about dating. Dating used to be such a fun, thrilling thing! I used to talk about my crushes with my friends and get so excited when there was a potential boyfriend in the works. So sure of what I wanted, of my preferences. I just wish I felt that attraction again. I’ve been dealing with SOOCD for so long that I haven’t felt attraction in a long time. It feels sometimes like a part of myself that I’ve lost forever. I know that’s not true, and that it’ll just take work to get it back.. but it’s a hard feeling to sit with sometimes. That’s one thing that I always give myself credit for. Is for trying. Even on my hardest days I always tried.. tried to do some erp even if I accidentally compulsed during it or tried to think about how I could be better for my friends, my family, and my lil niece. And I hope that it’s something you’ll give yourself credit for, too. Maybe it’s hard for you to shower, be alone, drive, or make future plans. Maintaining relationships might be difficult too. But you always try. You’re here, right? Take a moment to remind yourself how far you’ve come. I will too. Rewiring our brains is our responsibility. And it sucks sometimes. But hey, it gives me some solace to know that there’s a community of other people on here going through it too.. and that we’re in this together. Stay strong guys ❤️🤗 I believe in you!