Username: jdjdhsjajdbdn

Date posted: 1y ago

Help

I've got a horrible urge to search up CP and I don't know what to do. It feels like I really want to do it. I can't tell if I want to do it but it's telling me I want to and that I'll like it and I'll never enjoy anything again until I do it. How do I prevent myself from doing it, is this is a sign of ocd and how can I distract? I'm scared I'm a pedo but I'm perhaps more scared that this thought won't go unless I do it or that I'll do it because of ocd and then go to jail.

POCD

Username: cambckttcambcktt

Date posted: 1y ago

firstly, you arent a pedophile. secondly, obligatory not a health professional, but thats def ocd. specifically harm ocd, if i remember correctly. i used to have that same compulsion—still do, but it comes up much less. the way i kinda dealt with it, is understanding that trying to force it down and out of my head means im always thinking about avoiding it, which only makes me think about it. i kinda went through a self guided thought exercise because oof therapy costs money (unfortunately). proceed with caution, bc i have no idea if this could be more harmful but it lessened it FOR ME! i sit down on my bed in a safe place, and let myself explore the compulsion. this example ill use stabbing my dog. "stab her stab her!!!" my brain says. i wanna shove it out of my brain, im a monster. but i think through the action. i dont need to be detailed with it, but having that image, and 'dealing' with the aftermath is very much NOT what i want! so then i get to go to my compulsion, say 'actually, no. i dont want to do that!' and continue on.. ill try and find a podcast ep i listened to discussing harm ocd that explains this MUCH better than i can lol

Username: Dreamer2343Dreamer2343

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

I’ve had this before. It’s just an OCD urge. It will pass

Username: jdjdhsjajdbdn jdjdhsjajdbdn

Date posted: 1y ago

@Dreamer2343 What distracted you for a bit

Username: Pudu OCDPudu OCD

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@jdjdhsjajdbdn I cannot recommend strongly enough that you make truly radical efforts not to follow this compulsion, as soon as it appears. And I am not just saying this because of potential legal consequences, but also because any such legal consequences would feel great in comparison to the mental anguish and trauma you would be inflicting upon yourself for years and years to come. If you get the idea again, immediately physically leave the room you’re in, and leave your electronic devices behind.

Username: jdjdhsjajdbdn jdjdhsjajdbdn

Date posted: 1y ago

@Pudu OCD Should I hide my phone for a bit?

Username: Pudu OCDPudu OCD

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@jdjdhsjajdbdn The classic, generic OCD therapy advice with compulsions is to “try to sit for a while with the discomfort”. My view for this specific compulsion is: do not sit with anything. I don’t care if this counts as “avoidance” which can marginally strengthen OCD. The stakes are much too high. The downsides of giving in to this compulsion are immense and long-lasting. Absolutely physically separate yourself from your devices and go for a walk outside with just your keys in your pocket. Or if you live with anyone, go see what they’re up to, have a random chat with them, see if they want to hang out for a few hours. The anxiety will come down and so will the urge. Good luck!

Username: jdjdhsjajdbdn jdjdhsjajdbdn

Date posted: 1y ago

@Pudu OCD Is it normal for it to be telling me that doing it will make it all better? I know it won't and I'm not going to do it but I'm really scared that I'm going to be dealing with this forever

Username: Pudu OCDPudu OCD

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@jdjdhsjajdbdn Yes it’s a normal OCD symptom. Your brain’s faulty alarm system is activated, and it is trying to get 100% proof, by absolutely any means necessary, that you are not what you fear. It’s trying to get you to seek reassurance on this via “testing”. Just remember that you have OCD about this BECAUSE you are not what you fear. And don’t worry. As you repeatedly avoid following this urge, and move on with your day when it comes up, it will eventually go away. It may not even take very long for it to disappear. So don’t despair about that!

Username: cambckttcambcktt

Date posted: 1y ago

podcast ep 130 from 'this is actually happening' titled 'What if you had thoughts of harming those you love most?' additionally, the videos by mark freeman on yt are really good imo!! remember you are in charge of YOUR actions!!!! woo!!!

Username: Pudu OCDPudu OCD

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

It’s definitely a sign of OCD. It’s a checking/ testing compulsion, similar to say HOCD sufferers having urges to look at homosexual stuff online to confirm if they like it or not. This will not give you any answers, and instead will raise many much more difficult questions. With POCD, following this testing compulsion can get you in deep, long-lasting trouble, yes potentially with others and society at large, but perhaps most importantly and much more certainly with yourself. Absolutely do not do it! You want a tip for that? Slam your laptop shut, or throw your phone away from yourself as soon as the idea comes up, and physically leave the room. Do not come back to the room for at least 15-20 mns. Go outside, take a walk around the block. The anxiety will fade on its own and so will this urge.

Username: jdjdhsjajdbdn jdjdhsjajdbdn

Date posted: 1y ago

@Pudu OCD Ok thank you

Username: Pudu OCDPudu OCD

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

One of the rare few therapists who will put up on their website that this can happen: https://www.friendlypsychology.com/pocd-pedophilia-obsessive-compulsive-disorder-symptoms-and-treatment-in-kansas-city-mo/

Username: jdjdhsjajdbdn jdjdhsjajdbdn

Date posted: 1y ago

@Pudu OCD Thank you for your help

Username: Pudu OCDPudu OCD

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@jdjdhsjajdbdn You’re welcome! And I don’t know if you’re in therapy or not, but if you are not, I would suggest starting it. With OCD it’s quite often not a super long process (a few months). It can help you a lot.

Username: jdjdhsjajdbdn jdjdhsjajdbdn

Date posted: 1y ago

@Pudu OCD I'm in therapy but not with a specialist and it isn't really working

Username: Pudu OCDPudu OCD

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@jdjdhsjajdbdn For OCD you need a therapist who understands OCD well, has a lot of experience treating it, and gives you ERP therapy. If that’s the case, you can be patient, and trust the process. It can sometimes take a bit of time for some people to see results. It’s common for symptoms to stagnate or worsen for a while in the beginning, before they suddenly improve. Note that an OCD expert will always lean towards not really spending much time discussing the specifics of your case, because it’s all OCD, details of the content are not very relevant to the treatment of the OCD. So if you want, you can also get separate therapy to deal with any other issues/ consequences of your OCD (for example unresolved shame, grief, trauma, relationship issues, etc…)

Username: Pudu OCDPudu OCD

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

I hope you are doing better, friend!

Username: ELO

Date posted: 5y ago

POCD TRIGGER Years ago I once read someone’s post on another website who had looked up child pornography because their intrusive thoughts were getting them so much that they just figured that they were that way inclined. And they said that they pleasured themselves to this and then felt horrible and sick and guilty. I felt sorry for this person as they were clearly suffering from OCD and were not a pedophile. For some reason, this has entered my head today as I already have the fear of police scanning what I write on here and coming for me with them getting the wrong idea of me. Then I think the police would of definitely have went for that person as seeing that on their search list on their computer ID etc. Then came the fear of ‘what if I have done that and searched for that’. But that’s something you would know if you had done I’m telling myself.

POCD

Username: lilli

Date posted: 4y ago

i need help, if ANYONE can give me guidance PLEASE. I NEED IT. im a minor, i cannot tell my parents about these intrusive thoughts im having, so i cant get a therapist, nor can i get diagnosed. im scared i am a pedophile. i experienced a groinal feeling a couple days ago when i saw a picture of a little kid. I DID NOT REALIZE IT WAS A KID AT FIRST, but i freaked out. i freaked you guys. i even unfollowed the account i saw the picture of the young cchild on. im so scared that i am a pedophile. i cant live like this. what if i am but im i denial? i cant do it. ive experienced something like this before. i had a thought and obsessed about it about it. but i even think back, what if i wasnt obsessing? i was constantly online looking for answer for the thought. i was constantly confessing the thought to my ex (the thoughts were about him) and im just terrified. AND THEN, I HAVE THOUGHTS THAT SAY “you are a p*do and thats okay” BUT I DONT WANT TO THINK ABOUT THAT. I DONT WANT TO THINK LIKE THAT. i just want to be a normal teen. i wanna be worry free. i dont want to be a pedo. i wannt be happy. please any guidance you can give me i need it. does it sound like POCD to the people who have experienced OCD? or am i in denial. i cant live with myself being a pedo.

Username: winterdream

Date posted: 2y ago

POCD-arrested

Hey guys I’ve been doing very well in terms of managing OCD but recently I’ve been having this intrusive thought of what if the cops arrest me for my Google search history. I used to feel what i now recognize as a huge sense of responsibility to protect children from cp and would Google cp into the search bar and on p*rn sites to report to cybertip. I’ve only done the latter once or twice but now I’m obsessively anxious about thinking of what if the cops check my computer, whether it looks like I have intent to watch etc. Please advise :(

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