Feeling lost and unoriginal due to OCD and a desire for acceptance.

I feel like I lost myself

It has been a hard night. I feel like my whole life I have been wanting people to like me and I’m doing that I lost myself. Especially with ocd and getting into a depression I lost interest in any and everything. For the past week it has kicked me back to that place. I feel boring, unoriginal, I fell like I don’t have anything special about me, if I ask someone they would say I’m nice. I’m over weight so I’ve never bough clothes I really like, I don’t have money to spend on things like art or decor. So I feel bland. I have never had a boyfriend and people look at me like I’m crazy. So basically people see me as an innocent person who has nothing special. I work, I go to school, and I’ve never been obsessed over a music artist or anything. So if people ask me my favorite band or movie I have no idea. I also fear that the moment that I do find myself that my ocd ideas will become real and they were just trapped Inside. Idk who I am. I just kept typing so it may not make sense.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

*also my memory is horrible i can’t remember a lot of the time i had my ocd stuff it’s weird

Username: IfiknewthenIfiknewthen

Date posted: 1y ago

You are in the same boat as many others with ocd. It sucks. We just have to take it one day at a time. We have to identify our compulsions with a trained therapist and stop doing them. And also learn how to identify them on our own. We have to become students of ocd just like the therapist. Try not to get so wrapped up in the long term negative outlook and just take it day to day. You dont know what tomorrow can bring. Things can change on a dime.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

Thank you!

Username: Mooooni Mooooni

Date posted: 1y ago

Trust me, you’re not alone. I feel like I lost myself or don’t feel excited to do things or go places because of my ocd or just in general and not excited about it. I think what happens is that we might assume an outcome too much as to being why we don’t do things or just giving up because it’s comfortable and it’s a habit created. Don’t be hard on yourself. If you don’t feel like it, don’t feel like it. Tell yourself you’re not motivated RIGHT NOW. It’s ok. But yeah maybe take a walk or watch an inspiring movie to get you moving and take time to watch the birds. That can help with ideas for your creativity or interaction/inspiration.

Username: garden

Date posted: 5y ago

I feel like I’ve lost my identity and I don’t even know who I am anymore. My OCD is saying I’m not a woman but I hate that. And I fear that it isn’t OCD, and that I just genuinely am trans or gender fluid or something. I just can’t accept that no matter how hard I try. All I want is to feel like myself again. Pronouns are a trigger for me and they’re literally EVERYWHERE. It’s just so difficult. In a way, I miss having harm OCD or existential OCD or even health OCD because atleast I was still me. But it isn’t fair to say that because as I was going through them, they were awful. The grass is always greener I guess. I’m just feeling a little bit hopeless and alone, because I don’t think ‘gender questioning’ is a very common theme.

Sexual Orientation OCD

Username: fatiima

Date posted: 3y ago

I don’t even know the wrong from the the right anymore I don’t even know how to talk to people without thinking that I offended them or spoke to them in a bad way I don’t even know what i became I don’t want what I became i just cry looking at my hands I cry looking at myself i feel pathetic I feel so desperate I was never this weak and now look at me not being able to control my own behaviors. What happened to the girl who always laughed and cared so much about herself the girl who loved nail polish and was so close to god in away no one imagined what happened to the girl who used to take full grades and be the smartest what happened to me. Isn’t it sad looking at myself with pity, helpless and full of doubt! I don’t deserve this. I know what’s I’m gonna say know sounds selfish but i do compare myself to others I wasn’t as bad as them so why me and not them! Why me !!... I’m loosing my mind I’m getting angry when I’m left alone I’m giving ocd the keys for the prison it made for me I’m letting it control me not that I want to but im not fighting back. Now im with no friends, with a family that doesn’t understand ocd, and a corrupted society that doesn’t value mental health. I’m so sad i feel like a baby rn but im actually so sad and lonely im conditioned now to believe that no one wants me, that im just a burden and need to be silent, not important and useless.... Idk even know what to say anymore

Username: Tanaya

Date posted: 3y ago

I feel like no one knows the real me, I dont even know the real me anymore. OCD has been my identity for so long I always wonder who the f would I be without it. My thoughts and opinions change so rapidly I dont know if their my own anymore. My moods and emotions are so up and down I'm wondering what's the real way that I feel. Have I just been lying all my life.

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Feeling lost and unoriginal due to OCD and a desire for acceptance.

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