Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Definitely OCD and when I either drink or smoke it seems I’m more affected by it until I sober up. The alcohol probably didn’t help in this case

For months I have been terrified of this thing happening. Is it the alcohol? Is it fatigue?

Of course! I’ll do my best. So when I have smoked I have thoroughly enjoyed it. However, there are times where it feels like I get an epiphany and it freaks me out. It’s actually super similar to OCD which I believe it is, it’s just since my mind is being affected by a drug I have way more creativity to find new epiphanies that aren’t for the best and continue to spiral. Same thing happens when I’m intoxicated but more so when I’m high. Definitely more so on shrooms. I haven’t done shrooms in years. I drink once a week and I have stopped smoking. Wanted to give some context lol. Anyways what I figured out is that why I’m freaking out is for a few reasons 1)my brain is picking up on new and possibly a lot of new information and I can’t process the overload 2) which then leads to not “bridging the gap” of said new information to old information 3) OCD then takes ahold and keeps it on repeat which intensifies. So back to the drugs for all of our minds but we will focus on shrooms because they are the easiest to explain even if you never had them before. Micro dosing is a term used to get a minute dosage of any drug and experience the effects but at a much more manageable level to where it feels like you’re still you in control. Shrooms can run a high risk of bad tripping which actually is what OCD is. The thought process is same. So it’s really a overload of new information not being integrated to old information. So when you sobered up the old information came flooding back to you to “bridge the gap” of whatever you were picking up on and it didn’t matter what it was is what you already knew calmed the new information. I hope that part made sense. It’s like I’m high and I get an idea/epiphany about something and I just run with it even if it’s not even scary however when I sober up the other bits of information I already have had come back and explain even though this idea was great I need to account for information A,B,C, and D which then completely shuts down the new idea because it’s not plausible. I was focused on one aspect of something, something I never took the time to look at or my brain picked up on, and didn’t look at the entirety of it. Now however I did see a new way to look at said idea or at least another way to appreciate the whole by it’s parts. This is the effect of drugs in the mind which all minds and ppl handle them differently and the effects of OCD. It’s hyper focused into one thing and or will question everything else and disregard other available information. BUT! What’s crazy is that it is a new way to look at the woods and figure out a new perspective once the OCD has calmed down. It’s made me more empathetic, compassionate, and intelligent even though OCD is a nightmare to deal with lol. Thanks for reading. Let me know what you think or have any questions.