Anxiety in public| pocd

I’m 15, I’ve been going in public places more often and men have always made me anxious, (I’m a girl) I’m not sure exactly why but I’ve always thought in my head “I’m embarrassed because I’m ugly and they’re handsome/attractive” , but recently when I’ve been going out this same exact things been happening with much younger boys, I’d say 10-20, now of course anything above 13 is fine , but 12 and 11 and 10???? A no go. And I’m confused as to why I’m anxious around them too, with the same thought in mind. + I avoid them the same way I avoid older guys- I’ve been thinking about this a lot but this seems very real and I don’t like it. But I avoid handsome guys, cause they make me anxious cause I think I’m ugly, so why do young boys make me anxious in the same way too???? It’s weird. And gross. And now I’m worried and scared.

mystra

Date posted: 1y

So this is just my perspective as someone nearly 15 years older than you… this is actually very normal. You’re 15, you’re going through a period in your life where boys, girls maybe, and even yourself are going to be viewed a lot differently than you used to view them. Regardless of age. It has nothing to do with who you are as a person, your morals, whether you are good or bad, whatever. Your self-image is going to change a lot in the next ten years, trust me on that one. Same with your opinion on what boys you find attractive as you develop preferences. When you’re young, everyone starts to look interesting because you’re experiencing new hormones, new feelings, all that nonsense. So believe when I say your thoughts right now are hardly a moral compass. They are going to be weird and they are going to be exploring all kinds of things. That includes people younger than you. You may not think it (because no one does at 15), but you are still a kid yourself. Thinking about other kids is gonna happen. If it feels gross and scary, I understand. But try to remember you’re going through a period of your life everyone else goes through too and you have no idea what kind of thoughts everyone else has. The difficulty with OCD is that we have a much harder time letting go of the ones that freak us out. That’s difficult, I get it, and it just makes this part of your life harder. Keep your chin up though.

Yeye123

Date posted: 1y

@mystra So does that mean I’m attracted to young boys????? I know false attraction is a thing, and I’ve sure experienced it before, but like I’ve always been very anxious and avoided guys and sometimes even girls, but now I get like that around boys much younger than me and it’s freaking me out, I mean anxiety in general sucks but I can’t stop thinking about it and it’s making me go literally crazy

mystra

Date posted: 1y

@Yeye123 It means that you’re currently just programmed to feel what you feel and think what you think and that’s all a part of changing at your age and it will change over time. Your brain has not fully developed, your hormones are in the middle of changing, all sorts of things happen that we can’t control when we’re teenagers and it means you just have to go with the flow and not worry about it so much. Which is hard, I get it. I’m not saying you’re attracted to young boys, I’m also not saying that you haven’t had thoughts that seem different or maybe invasive, but the point is that we have to let them go, especially when we’re young because you are going to change a lot and, looking back, 90% of anything you do when you’re 15 will have been a phase you went through. There is nothing about myself now that is close to what I was like when I was 15 except maybe my core hobbies. You just have to accept that your thoughts are going to happen, they’re not a reflection upon you or your beliefs, they just happen and then they go away.

Yeye123

Date posted: 1y

@mystra So , I just need to stop dwelling on whether or not I’m into young dudes? Right? I kinda want a therapist or a psychiatrist

mystra

Date posted: 1y

@Yeye123 Basically, yeah. You’re at a stage in life where you’re gonna have a lot of different, strange, unpredictable thoughts and you gotta just learn to let them go. But speaking to a professional is not a bad idea! They can help you with not getting stuck on those thoughts and better helping you understand why you’re feeling the way you are.

lissamls

Date posted: 14w

pocd? help

i've been very sad these days, i saw a child on TikTok and i had thoughts calling her hot, it seemed like i liked it and i was very anxious and very scared. i cried a lot, i kept replaying the video several times because it seemed like i was attracted to her and only when i was sure that I wasn't attracted to her i skip the video. but then i went to watch the videos of this kid again to see if i was really attracted or not again and i got nervous about being attracted to her "chest" and i kept looking to see if I was really attracted or not 😭 i wasn't, but one thought scared me a lot, which was "you were only attracted because it looked like an adult's chest." i was very nervous, i cried a lot because of this. I'm not attracted to children, I never have been, why does it seem like i am? i don't want to look at children anymore, im too nervous. i'm not attracted to her, all of this makes me sick and sad, it's all very uncomfortable and scary. but I've been questioning myself a lot about the last thought, i can't stop questioning myself. every time i see a child my brain asks if i'm attracted to them or if i think they're pretty. i can't stop crying (sorry for any mistakes I'm using a translator)

Purvi

Date posted: 12w

POCD help

I'm posting something after a long. I have multiple Ocd themes and my main themes of sexual ocd is incest Ocd and Hocd and POCD has never been so active but today something happened that has been bothering me for a while. I was traveling in a bus and there I saw a kid/young teen. When I saw him, I instantly found him so attractive and then BOOM.. I started feeling like I'm attracted to him. I felt confused. I literally found him attractive and also thought that he would look really fine after growing up his face was so attractive but I don't want to be into him at all. I feel like I'm so much into him. I'm feeling very bothered by this feeling. I feel like I'm in denial and I should accept my attraction towards him. I don't want to feel this way at all. I don't understand what to do, how to figure out this feeling. I'm 99% sure that there was an underlying attraction I felt when I looked at him and realized that he is good looking. I feel like dying from inside and extremely confused. He's not in my bus now and I feel urges to just see him once to finally figure out that I'm into him or not but he is not here. I think I'm a pedophile which I don't want to be and everything is finished now, nothing would be same in my mind because I'm so paranoid and feeling like I'm into him. Please somebody help me and let me know if anyone of you has ever felt this way having POCD.

Anonymous

Date posted: 11w

Pocd?

Since I don't experience attraction towards children so I'm not a p*do. But I've seen some not really child looking character. Thought he's attractive. And scared if he's minor so googled his age. Says 11. But I didn't stopped and kept thought "no but he doesn't look 11", "he's attractive" I'm so scared. Some people says don't live in past but my another past mistakes are just.. disgusting. So lets say if one is caused because I was groomed, another one is caused because I was lacking of social skills. But I don't know if I'm still attracted to 14~16 year olds... I'm scared if I do. I think I'm an ap*ebophile and is also having pocd Lets say the thought "he doesn't look 11" is the reason why I'm not. But it's disgusting. Doesn't look 11 doesn't mean it's exceptional..

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Anxiety in public| pocd

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