- Username
- Chrissie Hodges
- Date posted
- 5y ago
The goal is to not ‘overcome’ uncertainty but to accept it. I practice daily how to recognize when my actions (compulsions) are a Response to thoughts or feelings in and effort to solve something. When I recognize the pattern, I stop the compulsions and tell myself that whatever I’m worried about may or may not happen, but I’m living my life anyway.
I experience thoughts without anxiety often and I try to resist the urge to define that as having meaning. For example: if I don’t have anxiety when I have the the thought ‘what if I’m a pedophile’ does that mean I’m accepting it!?! I see this as a trap. So I think...maybe it means I’m accepting it, maybe not, there’s no answer so I just leave it without pursuing certainty.
Chrissie it is so wonderful to see you on here! I watch your videos on YouTube and I admire you so much. I only hope I can be like you one day, and be able to accept the uncertainty and live my life despite these horrible intrusive thoughts of harm. I am in a very dark place at the moment and feeling the lowest I have ever felt. I know exactly what to do to help myself but can't find the strength or motivation and feel absolutely terrified of getting out and facing my fears. Triggering situations that cause my thoughts of harming others bring me crippling anxiety I'm not currently getting any therapy and am on a very long waiting list with NHS (UK) I've been looking into private therapy but can't find someone who can deal with my situation which makes me feel 100 times more depressed and anxious. . It's very hard to feel positive right now. ? I'm at such a low point I don't feel I will ever get out of it especially with no professional help. ? I really admire you and everything that you do.
I can’t really identify the exact scenario of new intrusive thoughts during a panic attack, but I do know that if I didn’t have anxiety alongside any intrusive thoughts, then they wouldn’t feel intrusive! It’s the anxiety and emotion that attaches to them that makes them feel relevant. Our job is to choose to make them irrelevant and it will in turn reduce the anxiety.
I’ve learned that I can’t control which compulsions engage in, but I can choose whether or not to engage. When I experience an Intrusive thought and my immediate response is to do a compulsion to alleviate the anxiety or reduce the fear, I have to actively choose to not engage. It doesn’t come naturally to me because this is how my brain is wired. So I accept that reality and practice mindfulness in an effort to recognize when the urge to compulse happens and stop it before I engage.
I’m sorry you are struggling so badly right now. I know how it feels to feel like all hope is lost. But it is absolutely possible to learn to manage this. Check out ‘Freedom from Obsessive Compulsive disorder’ by Jonathan Grayson while you wait for your therapy appointment. It’s a workbook that can help!
Yes! I have Intrusive feelings in the form of emotions as well as physical symptoms such as Groinal movement or exacerbated pain in places when I’m worried about health or injury. Sometimes sadness is intrusive too and I worry, if it was ocd, I wouldn’t feel actual sadness?
To anyone interested, I recommend the book *Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts* by Sally M. Winston and Martin N. Seif. It’s helpful not just for Pure-O. I’ve had several different forms of OCD over the past two decades and that book spoke to all of them by speaking to the fundamental issue – intrusive thoughts – and explaining the science behind it. After all, the externalized compulsions of OCD are fundamentally just a (self-defeating) effort to end the intrusive thoughts. It was very powerful and helpful for me.
As far as becoming numb to the thoughts, I try to look at it as OCD doing whatever and however to keep me stuck. I try to pay attention to whether I’m ruminating or mentally reviewing to find proof or disproof. If so...I can safely bet it’s a compulsion. Remember, there’s no way to ever prove thoughts are real or not, the more you try, the worse they get.
Tetris:Pure O can do just about anything to keep you stuck in the doubt feeling.
Chrissie I know you are bombarded with questions and comments lol. But do you think it's possible to practice erp safley without a therapist as so many like myself are left waiting without a therapist and really want to start to help ourselves ? it's just a very scary thing to do.
Hi Chrissy, I lost my job in march due to OCD/ANXIETY. I took long to do tasks, I would count or stare at certain things for a while. I really want to look back for work in September, but I feel worried my OCD/Anxiety will act up. I need some advice. I thought I was doing ERP correctly, but just last month I realized I wasnt doing erp the right way. I tend to analyze. I try to not pay attention to the thoughts. When my anxiety acts up, ocd tends to act up. I feel overwhelmed and confused. Ocd makes the simplest tasks hard to do. Like brushing my teeth - I tend to count and analyze. Same with doing the dishes. Any advice would be helpful? Thanks.
How do you learn to overcome uncertainty? Even when my anxiety subsides when resisting compulsions, the fear of all the what ifs usually lead me to feeling uneasy and/or depressed.
Hi! Pure O is a nickname that was coined by Dr. Steven Phillipson to identify the community of individuals with OCD who have intrusive thoughts and mental rituals. Many of the themes revolve around violent, sexual, blasphemy, scrupulosity, health, relationships, but there’s no limit to what the theme can be!
I identify compulsions as anything I am doing in an effort to prove or disprove something is real or not. I got wrapped up in ocd with an injury of mine and it took a while to see how badly the ocd was because the injury was real! But I recognized the constant checking and rechecking and avoidance of things that might make it hurt as compulsions and started to eliminate them.
Check out my website as I do consultations for referrals to ocd experts worldwide. www.chrissiehodges.com. Oh! And Stu from The OCD Stories and my nonprofit OCD Gamechangers will be in the UK hosting an event for ocd on October 12th! My first European visit!
I don't have intrusive feelings but I have intrusive thoughts which go against God and the holy ghost and I want it to go away I've typed up something asking anyone to help me that's why I'm here now
Did you felt periods of time where you still had the thoughts but they didn't feel like anxiety ?
I’m not sure I understand the question?
I've read so many different things, doing scripts, accepting uncertainty, trying not to pay attention etc.. literature constantly ranks ERP as the single best thing against OCD but pure OCD erp is tricky
Any tips on Relapse prevention?
Hello Ms Hodges, thank you so much for helping. I was wondering, have you ever met people's with HOCD who, during therapy, said they had felt like they had changed or that they felt different. When by ocd spikes that happens to me and I'm often scared that what I'm ocd says. I have found it has happened after therapy but it goes away I think. I'm sorry if I sound like I'm seeking reassurance, if so, please disregard
How does ERP work with a Pure O that tends to switch themes? I understand that ERP works by exposing yourself to the intrusive thoughts without allowing compulsions, but how can that be successful when the obsessive thinking changes themes often.
I’m going to attempt to answer these in order! I do not recommend doing ERP on your own. If you want to use workbooks by Grayson, Abramowitz, or Hershfield that is a good start. Otherwise, I would definitely suggest working with a professional to learn how to manage ocd.
Chrissie, thank you for all you do! It’s super cool that your avi on here looks just like you, hair and all ☺️
Thank you for your reply Chrissie I will check that out! I have read Jon hershfields book overcoming harm ocd and although it was a fantastic book and I started to feel more positive, in the end I felt worse. I'm on a year waiting list. Can't seem to find a private therapist that can help with my situation I've contacted so many and they all say they can't help. Just feel myself slipping further under and can't see a way out. I just don't know what to do.
I just wanted to say, Chrissie I have beeb watching your videos for quite a while now, and I’m so grateful we have you. I will say though ironically enough I used to watch the same videos for reassurance seeking, but luckily I think even my OCD got tired of that haha. Thanks for all the replies! ?
I so wish I could do that. The anxiety that comes with my intrusive thoughts and feelings is just so overwhelming ? it scares me so much
So what is the exact steps for ERP for pure o?
Is there guidance on differentiation obsessions with poor insight vs psychosis or anxiety based psychosis?
Hi Is it normal to get depressed about life when you don’t have obsessive thoughts because of Prozac working
Hi Chrissie! Im having hocd since december. How you can treat the feeling of losing your own identity as a woman? This theme by itself is driving me crazy.
My suggestion would be to work with an ocd therapist to make sure you are doing ERP correctly. The most important part of ERP is the response prevention. It’s difficult to know how to do this without guidance from an expert.
Hi Chrissie, thank you so much for everything you do to help others suffering from OCD. I remember being on my absolute lowest point whenever I wasn't diagnosed with OCD yet and I stumbled upon on of your videos on YouTube on POCD. It was such an eye-opener and has taught me that I'm not a monster but just constantly being fooled by my disorder. My sister is currently pregnant and its making me really anxious. Should I tell her about my fears? I'm scared it might confuse her in the wrong way.
Is numbness a part of ocd or caused by ocd?
Yes i meant emotional numbness like doesn’t feel anything in situations that normally you should feel things in it
Pray for me and promise i will pray for you wish you all the best. I love you
I love you tetros!
Chrissie, I sense a huge emphasis from you on seeing a specialist before doing ERP. The fact of the matter is that there are no specialists around where I live and there would be affordability issues if there were (or if there are through other means like Skype). I am not going to use a lack of having a specialist as an excuse for not doing ERP!
How do I stop replaying a "dirty" scene from my childhood? I can't stop obsessing over it and I really want to confess it to my therapist but it's so gross that I don't want to at the same time. I don't know what to do.. ?
Hey- so I've got over my theme- but i have this constant omnipresent anxiety that still says X (Worst case scenario) may happen. And it's very annoying
Happy to have you here Chrissie your work has been invaluable and I would love to learn more about how I can do work like you to help others with OCD!
What is pure o
Sorry, I know I already asked a question but I wanted to know if you’ve ever feared of falling back into doing a certain compulsion again because that compulsion ended up making you feel extremely guilty and more scared? Like “what if this means I’m losing control etc etc...”
Is pure o can make is feel numb or can i have these horrible thoughts and don’t feel bad about it?
Well , Chrissie . I've been dealing with HOCD for somewhat of a month now . And in the beginning the thoughts gave me paralyzing anxiety and I couldn't think straight. But now the thoughts don't give me anxiety but they make me uncomfortable and I feel like I'm noticing girls more which is not a comfortable feeling. Is it possible to grow used to these thoughts ? I'm sorry if this sounds like I'm looking for reassurance.
Thanks for that link Chrissie I did have a look its not something I can afford financially as I'm out of work I wish i could but I can't. Thanks anyway appreciate your help and advice.
I have terrible really terrible thoughts and i feel nothing or bad about it . Can pure o make me don’t feel sad or guilty?
...
Chrissie, because of your videos, you have enabled me to be able to help my boyfriend understand how I suffer in a much clearer light and I am so so grateful for that! <3 I've had one of the worst weeks recently with my OCD and I'm really struggling with ERP, can you suggest any materials or anything that can help me to really get to grips with ERP so that I can do it properly? :)
The thing I hate most about my thoughts is that they become more like physical feelings and urges I hate to use the word urge because it makes it sound like it's wanted when it totally isn't. But when they become intrusive feelings that's what Ive struggled the most with in my harm ocd
I did an acceptance and motivation script after reading jon hershfields book overcoming harm ocd, but when it got to the flooding script I got half way through and couldn't continue it scared the hell out of me like thinking some how writing it down would make me do it. I couldn't carry on with it
Are there ways to differentiate between rumination that is obsession based, depression based, or related to go polar? I had a crisis episode and can remember humming a specific song and I believe it was a mental compulsion.
I watch you all the time on YouTube. Always love your videos.
Any specifics that you can provide about how to do mindfulness in managing your OCD will help me. It is possible that you have provided some specifics in your answers to some of the questions that have been asked. I really appreciate the information you have provided!
Hi Chrissie! Any advice for a suicidal OCD warrior ?
Hello Chrissie, any advice on dealing with false memory OCD? Thank you
Your video about the topic help me a lot to understand how this works! Thank you for the suggestion :)
I want to thank you for your continued advocacy and support in the community! It is so helpful a lot of us out here. I hope one day to be able to talk about my OCD so openly to help others! So much appreciation ☺️
ERP for Pure O is the same as ERP for any manifestation of OCD. People have a misperception that it’s harder to treat, but that isn’t correct. You have to have a therapist who is specialized to treat it, and practice learning different behavior responses daily to learn to manage it.
I’m not sure how to differentiate the nuances of compulsions as I’m not a therapist. My general rule of thumb is, it it looks and feels like a compulsion it probably is, so the goal is to eliminate it.
Hey Chrissie, how do I stop confessing for reassurance to my mother? I fear my past mistakes coming to haunt me or think of the worst case scenario. My mom is a controlling perfectionist and I always got scared of her reactions growing up. Now she is used to things I’ve done and has become more self aware but I lose sleep and can’t function if I try to resist the urge to confess.
Is it an OCD trait to be quick tempered?
What does you mean I’m sorry I don’t understand
I feel pain in my heart right now?
Well I really don’t deserve to be loved but thank you❤️
Hi Chrissie, I've suffered with HOCD, and looking for a therapist privately in London which I'm finding difficult. Do you happen to know of any ocd therapists in London or know of anyone who might know a good ocd therapist in London? Also do you offer phone or Skype sessions for those abroad?
Hello Crissie, and thank you for all the work you do in the community of ocd sufferers <3 Hugely appreciated! Have you ever experienced/heard of the kind of intrusive thought (?) that is kind of a thought but with extreme "sensorydoubt" : very hard to explain but for example having suddenly a thought of touching someone inappropiately/ doing sthg very inappropiate to someone and if there is a person next to me or on my lap (child) thst thought then leaves me with wonder whether I actually did do the thought or if it was just a thought. Almost like doubt my sensory memory, where my hands have been , and can I be sure I have not touched, moved them from where they were :( Is this called intrusive thought too, or sthg specific? Very consuming to cope with. I know now, that I need to move forward, n o t rethink about the thought and the real moment. This is what I do yet it leaves me with doubt and anxiety, gets me down for days. Anxiety may lower but it is replaced by lowness, sadness, depressive feelings. Due to not being able to get this moment back to check. All the above show me this sounds very ocd to, but can this be categorized being an intrusive thought, have you experienced/heard of this kind? Big thank you beforehand <3
Is facing your fears and doubts the only way to cure ocd?
Will the workbooks that you suggested help without even seeking a therapist?
My friend told me and has told me similar things that I care more about my mental health than others. Idk what to do...
Hello chrissie from France.i have pure o since aprox 15 years. I ve tried everything to overcome it, it has just ruined my life. I ve even tried doing erp by my own but as mentioned, it didn’t work.. so, I m gonna use my last savings to get a treatment with doc phillipson.. I ve scheduled 4 sessions with him via Skype for next weeks ( it’s very expensive )..my only question is :does doctor phillipson is one of the best to help me ???...(reassurance,I know but I want to know what you think about him)
My main pure O symptom is rocd. Whenever I see our interact with a woman who is more attractive than my partner then I start thinking I might be better off with them. How do you handle this?
Is facing the fear only the way to cure OCD? I might get a heartattack for not performing my some compulsions. I have tried but the only thing on my head when I try to ignore those thoughts, is the fear which force me to compulsory perform the compulsions more than the times I really have to. I punish myself and perform more compulsions to have a superstitious balance in my life.
I have been dealing with harm ocd thoughts for almost a year now and feel like I have lost my sense of self from one moment to the next. Is this due to the disorder that I feel that I have lost my true identity - that I doubt myself whether I am a terrible person and that I am just in denial? I am seeing a CBt therapist but she tells me to just tell myself that “ i don’t want this” whenever I get an intrusive thought ... but isn’t that reassurance? Btw I am so thankful for you and all the help that you offer to ocd sufferers ?
Hi everyone, Ms. Hodges is most likely done answering questions. I wanted to thank her for her time and please check out her stuff on www.chrissiehodges.com
Is there anyone or anything that helps motivate you when you feel you just cant anymore, when you feel all is lost?
Im my past i had sex with my gender .. many many times and i felt no guilt about it ! One day i had sex in the church itself and i felt no guilt about it.. once i was sleeping with my aunt and I think sexually about her an i wanted that not an intrusive thing and I didn’t feel bad about it .. I stopped all of that... my best friend’s died and he was the most beautiful person anyone could imagine or have ..he make miracles now and i felt numb and not sad for his death ..I didn’t feel that i missed him or want to see him...after a had a sexual dream about my mom and after that endless thoughts came to my head sexually about anything anytime in any situation ... not just sexual thoughts..any kind of horrible , ridiculous, evil, abnormal thoughts...and I don’t feel anything about it .. sometimes i bring it..all my community and the people that I know are really beautiful they love and really I can’t explain how beautiful and good people they are..being around them is soo hard it’s like being soooo uglyyyy and miserable between angels..I don’t know why ..if I’m bad person why am i bad ..why I’m not just like all of these people.. i don’t know it just really bad
Chrissy, I love you. This is so cool you're answering questions. My question is exhaustion a normal symptom after doing exposures sometimes since your confronting the anxiety and trying to get your mind bored of it or is it a sign that you've been engaging in compulsions without realizing it?
Awesome
Yes, I have pure O in terms of my compulsions. I have harm OCD and use psychological reassurance tactics, which are, essentially, internal compulsions. For example, I’ll have intrusive thoughts about stabbing loved ones or people I’m living/staying with, and I’ll repeat over and over in my head, “I can’t be a serial killer. I had a good childhood, no one is in my family, I didn’t fins fascination in harming animals as a child, etc. etc.” I don’t do any external rituals, like counting or arranging or praying, for example, but my mind goes straight to reassurance tactics such as the ones I mentioned above, to combat the intrusive thoughts. I also get, what I believe is being described as “intrusive feelings,” which my psychotherapist calls, “intrusive impulses,” and for me, those are the scariest. Usually, if I’m already anxious or stressed that day and then have intense intrusive thoughts these come on and are what lead to like, a 10/10 panic attack, for me. The intrusive impulses are where I feel like I’m on the verge of losing control of my physical body, like muscles, and it feels like some force is literally pulling my body in the direction of whatever I’d be doing if I were to carry out my intrusive thought. For example, if I’m driving and have intrusive thoughts about crossing the center line, which I do, my muscles will freeze up, which is my subconscious doing, because I’ll feel like something is pulling my arms to move the wheel towards the direction of the line. In order to fight that non-existing “force,” my muscles tense up extremely tight, and I’ll freeze. That’s when I get tingly and numb and panic will sort of set in. It’s a cycle from there because when my body feels that out-of-(my)control, my intrusive thoughts have a lot more powerful of an effect on me. That’s when I start thinking, like, “Oh, I have to force myself to not do xyz, so I must be a serial killer, I must want to deep down even though I don’t think I do, etc. etc.” That’s when I will want to use, like, physical reassurance tactics like “I need someone to lock me in a room until this passes so I don’t carry out that act against my will.” The less in-control I feel (not just with OCD symptoms, but with life in general), the scarier it is and the more likely I am to have a panic attack like that. I’m also just over 1.5 years sober from substance abuse, so that does play a role. Normally, though, because I’ve done a lot of treatment, and because I work a 12-step program of sobriety, if I have an intrusive thought I can just let it pass through and accept it. So, those instances are a lot less common for me than they used to be. They are few and far between. Hope that helps/clears it up for anyone!
@ScarlettA maybe look into the 12 steps. You don't have to be a drug addict to benefit from them. They even have OCD groups that work 12 step recovery.
If you throw the ERP, 12 steps, talking therapy, meditation and exercise, sleep hygiene and healthy nutrition, full-time and keep busy, socialising not isolating, Journalling at OCD it can't handle it and wont stay strong for lomg
And medication if prescribed by doctor, full-time work
Awesome sister good luck
Hey chrissie, I have a question
Hello Everyone! My name is Ted. I'm a NOCD Pro, a licensed mental health professional trained in OCD treatment. I would like to offer my knowledge and help to this community. If there is anything that bothers you pertaining to your OCD, please feel free to ask me questions in this thread. I may not be able to get to every question posed, but I will try to answer as many as I can. I look forward to it!
Hey nocd community! I won't be taking anymore questions at this time, but I look forward to doing another Q&A soon! For 12 years I lived in silence and shame with the debilitating symptoms of Pure O/Intrusive Thoughts. I believe every person living with mental illness is worthy of a good life, love, happiness, and deserves the chance to live in recovery.
Hey nOCD Fam! Opening up a Q+A session all day today if you have any questions on OCD Recovery and what life is like in recovery with OCD still there but maintained, if you are a skeptic if it because you are suffering so much, how ERP worked for me, anything. Love chatting with you guys, thanks for letting me lend a hand!
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