Any hope?

I have overcame OCD and this is my story. I would tell on myself as a child, wash my hands, check to see if I locked the doors multiple times, tell on myself for intrusive thoughts, even if I couldn’t remember if I did something (I never did do it) I would tell on myself for off chance I didn’t want ppl to give me praise or like me when they didn’t know fully who I was by doing these acts (which I never did), this was all between ages 8-13. Then it started that no one liked me including family (this was still in me preteen years but not as prominent), everyone else I saw how awesome and amazing they were and how it made me treat them but then it never felt like I got that in return so I just kept thinking I didn’t deserve it, even though I was successful in academics and athletics my parents made it seem if I didn’t win or do great I might as well be last (ha Ricky Bobby), so then it started on top of no one likes me that “did I say this wrong? Should I have used a different word?. Went into depression had of course other traumatizing events that led to an attempted suicide few days after my 19th bday. Early 20s was a whirlwind but still ok. Mid twenties is when I finally was making steps and later twenties it was leaps. Now I say with confidence that my OCD has gone away. What drove me is when I was between the ages of 8-10 I felt so lonely (felt like it majority of my life) and I promised myself I would never let anyone else feel as lonely as me. I even told my parents I didn’t want any gifts because I didn’t deserve them. I couldn’t understand my existence. I wanted to get better and figure out the world around me to be the light in the darkness for others even if I will always feel lonely I vowed TO NEVER ALLOW someone to feel lonely like I did. I did not just want to bring uplifting, positive, warm energy but to sit with ppl in their darkness and let them know they’re not alone and someone can understand their abyss. I feel confident happy warm and have high energy most of my days which actually is great because I’ve always wanted to feel this instead of my despair. Even when the high energy isn’t there I’m still happy just chill. My main focus and always will be is I did it for others. There are no strangers in the dark. Thanks for reading

there is hope, you just have to remember that these thoughts aren’t yours and there is a way to get those thoughts not to bother your anymore. whenever you feel your having a bad episode of anxiety and feel unsure of yourself, take a deep breath and try and count to 10 see if it helps, but always allow your body to relax so it knows that there isn’t anything to be afraid of so that your fight or flight response lessens. At least that’s what helps me

When you hit rock bottom, there's only one way... UP. When we let go of all control is actually when we start getting better. Medication and therapy have been very good for me the last few weeks. God knows I do not like doing therapy and having to talk about such things, but doing it has actually helped. It's strange, but yes. I'm doing much better; while I still have a way to go.

Thank you everyone. I am certainly at rock bottom right now and it feels like I might never be truly happy again. But I am going to hang around and pursue further treatment. I need to trust this can improve

I’m cross with myself because for many years I had no serious OCD symptoms – it almost totally vanished from my life. But then my situation changed: my financial situation became insecure and I moved away from my community. My old obsessions started to return because I was vulnerable. Now I’ve developed a new terrifying obsession and I’m genuinely concerned it could destroy me forever. I never doubted with my previous episode that it would come to end eventually; I knew all I needed was treatment and some time to get well. But this time I am seriously afraid. If you’ve ever been in a similar place and recovered please let me know. I’m desperate to believe I can recover from this hideous illness