existential OCD & HARM

I’ve had this 7+ years ago. I was fine until this intrusive thought that came back. “What if I’m in a dream”, “what if we’re in a coma, and you can only get out if you end it”. These thoughts have come back and are really affecting me again. When I was younger I would use logic, like “dreams arnt powerful enough to always be in them. I can feel pain, I remember things” etc. It’s really effecting me again, and I cry to sleep every night just wanting to go back to how I was just 3 weeks ago. I desperately want to live a long happy life and I’m tired of this. Anyone else got anything like this and PLEASE give me advice or what you did to help it. I REALLY NEED HOPE!!! PLEASE

Key080323

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

You’re not alone I have also had this, it is extremely scary and upsetting. Have you read about depersonalization and derealization? I also have symptoms of that as well. DPDR is related to feeling disconnected and dream like. I can provide you with a website that helped me if you like :)

Nate S

Date posted: 1y

@Key080323 No I have not looked into it. How are you doing now with this though and what has helped you??

Kooan

Date posted: 1y

@Nate S I have had ocd for 5 years, and on medication i was fine, until similar though you explained came in my head... My brain is trying to convince me that i am dead, and that i am in simulation or in other life, i feel completely exhausted and scared... sometimes i am scared that i went psychotic, and i am constantly arguing with those thoughts

Nate S

Date posted: 1y

@Kooan I completely understand what you are going through. Mine was terrible as a young kid and then I was fine for years. Think about how ur life was before you had these intrusive thoughts and just look towards that for hope. If me as a kid could beat it with no medication, no therapy, no support system. I know we that we can both do it again. Hang in there, I PROMISE you there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Inshallah brother/sister!

Key080323

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@Nate S Those scary thoughts came into my mind one day after a very bad panic attack at work. I had never had them before and feared I was going crazy, felt I was in a dream looking down at myself, and felt I was in a haze. I did some deep digging online (probably as a compulsion) and found a website a man had created about the topic and his own experience with it. It seems the the depersonalization/derealization feeling is similar to existential OCD some? I’m not expert though. I visited his website and read articles and signed up for a 7 day free email program. Personally I feel what helped me was experiencing that feeling and learning it will not harm me and will eventually pass. I’ll place the link down below if you want to read of what he has wrote. I’m not sure if this will help you specifically but it gave me some insight to help recover. I still do have setbacks but not as bad :) Best of wishes friend. https://acoachcalledlife.com/my-depersonalization-story/?utm_source=email2&utm_medium=email

Jubeishow

Date posted: 1y

Hey, it's been almost a year since you posted this and I'm currently dealing with the same exact thing badly. Have you gotten better? And how did you get better if you did?

eea

Date posted: 23w

Help

Lately I have been having really really bad existential ocd the thoughts and compulsions never stop they are even in my dreams I resist compulsions as long as I can but I just want this to go away I keep thinking about how many hours in a day people would have if they weren’t like me I just feel so awful every second I feel like I’m living a double life I only know about I just want this to all go away

mandiocd

Date posted: 21w

Existential ocd help please.

m at the point where every night I contemplate going to the ER for my terrible thoughts. For the past 2.5 years I’ve been struggling with extremely bad existential ocd/nihilism. One day I woke up and had a nihilistic thought and since that day I’ve had severe nihilistic and suicidal thoughts. I truly don’t wanna do anything because in the end we die. In the end life is meaningless because we die. I feel almost delusional bc these thoughts feel true. Anything I do my brain goes “why are you doing this? It’s not gonna matter” I’m getting married in June and I don’t feel anything. I don’t wanna do anything. I don’t care to. I have to quit my RN job at the hospital because of this terrible theme. I don’t see a point in anything. Life doesn’t make sense. Death terrifies me. And life feels meaningless. My life is ruined. I hate ocd I hate it.

Existential OCD

user23456789

Date posted: 14w

Existential OCD

Hey guys so I’m new here and just recently started struggling with some health ocd and thinking I had a brain tumor but it’s taken a turn for the worse and become this existential ocd where I’m questioning quite literally everything in my life, the purpose of being here and stuff. I just started meds yesterday, which is scary for me cause I’ve never been on them before. I keep having thoughts like, why does everything feel like a blur, what’s the meaning of this and I wake up every day with just existential dread. I’ve been having very vivid dreams that make dreaming and reality confusing I also am scared cause I’m dealing with some DP/DR as well. I just wish my life could go back to a few months ago before I knew all of this was possible. I guess I’m just writing this too get it off my chest and see if any of you all have gone through something similar and made it out okay?

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