I’ve almost just accepted that I’m a bad person. All i can think about is my intrusive thoughts, at this point I’m literally obsessed with them. I’m almost not even anxious anymore because I’m accepting it
I used to have severe POCD I would think I was a bad person every single day, I couldn’t even think a child was cute without thinking it was inappropriate to think that! Learning to sit in the uncomfortable feelings was torture but the best thing I could have done for myself! Saying ok ocd ya maybe maybe not I have no idea and I don’t have to figure it out! Also saying I don’t have time for this shit today! I have more important things to do then deal with you today ocd! Throwing yourself into something you enjoy helps too, the fact you’re accepting the thoughts and the unknown is fantastic! That’s what will help you immensely!
@Minariri Of course!! First I would suggest you get into therapy with an ocd therapist that specializes in ERP. I know it can be so difficult to deal with however it’s important to remember that ocd latches onto what is most important to you, what it tells me about you is that you care deeply for the protection of children! Doing ERP with a therapist helped me so much! It took multiple sessions but it doesn’t bother me nearly as often as it used to! What helped me a lot is sitting with the thoughts, allowing them to be there and place where I’m feeling anxiety (stomach, hands, head, etc) and sitting with the unknown! I know it’s torture but it does work, do your best not to engage with the thoughts because rumination is a slippery slope be comfortable with ok I had this thought, it made me feel this way, and I don’t have to figure out why I had that thought or what I think it means, ocd isn’t worth my time!! Make sure you don’t attribute meaning to your thoughts, allow the thoughts to be there but don’t dwell! I like to practice mindfulness and focus on my breath when I’m allowing thoughts to be there, big deep breaths in and big deep breaths out! Throwing yourself into something that brings you joy also helps and if intrusive thoughts are so loud I suggest looking around and focusing on what’s happening around you, if you’re drinking water pay attention to the feel of the water, the taste of the water, the temperature of the water and let the thoughts be there, we don’t want to force them to go away but we do need to learn how to be ok with the unknown.
@Minariri No problem at all! You aren’t alone and this world is a much better place with you in it 🥰❤️
So my OCD has been bad lately. I’ve been ruminating and obsessing over my sexuality again. And it just keeps getting worse. I hate it so much. I try to sit with the discomfort but then my ocd does the backdoor spike. And the groinal response is what keeps me looped. It SUCKS. I am not attracted to men, but my OCD is trying SO hard to convince me that I am. There have been days where I’m just so mentally exhausted that I “accept” what my ocd tells me and I just walk around a hollow, lethargic shell. But then I rethink it and I feel better. It feels like I can only find my TRUE self when I tire my nervous system out enough that it literally breaks down and has me suicidal and hopeless. And then accepting my OCD’s “truth” (that I’m attracted to men) feels like a burden and a chore. I woke up today from an OCD dream, tried to go back to sleep, and my stomach kept cramping bc I was so anxious and ruminating over my intrusive thoughts. I’m starting to doubt it being OCD anymore. My brain is too tired to fight and cry about it anymore.
I have intrusive thoughts about God. But sometimes it seems like I do think them myself. I don't agree with them. But it's like I get too exhausted to fight anymore, or when my mind calms down, I don't feel right without the thoughts so I think them myself and idk why. I'm pretty sure I'm going to hell.
Is there something wrong with me if I’m not disgusted by my intrusive thoughts anymore like the disgust feeling has been gone for months now and why are my thoughts feel like they’re literally so close happening inside my brain why can I lowkey physically feel the images of that makes sense,Why do I get adrenaline why do I get a weird tingle my lips sometimes make an awkward like position when I get the thoughts it’s like I’m having a glitch idek which thought is intentional which one is intrusive but there bad thoughts and I don’t want them to be the truth about me but I literally cannot get myself to just feel relaxed even if they’re present like I actually get genuine headaches and feel uneasy for hours after having intrusive thoughts and I hate how it’s always the same kinda thoughts and sensations feelings etc around those thoughts out of nowhere when I’m just chilling they come in before when I had it is be like okay ew weird thought now I’m like what if I actually like this and I’m in denial uGHHH HATE MY BRAIN
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