Done.

I’m not anxious, I don’t think I’m depressed, I just feel blah, no emotions, super negative, like I hate everything and everyone, I want to change my whole life because it’s not who I am and I don’t feel like I’m a cute little girl anymore like my style and what I want is life is just ruined and not what I want anymore and my head hurts and I just am so negative nothing feels right I don’t feel like I love anyone, care about anything, and just everything’s bad. Can anyone relate?

FairyMan

Date posted: 1y

Oh yeah I relate to this a lot, I just feel down a lot of the time rn tbh

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

@FairyMan Yea. It stinks because from the outside it looks like I have a perfect life and I really do have so much I should be thankful and grateful for but I just can’t appreciate anything because I don’t feel anything for anyone or anything. It’s tuff. It’s one of the things I struggle with the most that I may not be an empathetic person or a loving person which I always thought I was until I started having ocd aboht it and now it’s truly all gone.

Anonymo12

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous I sometimes feel better on some days but then others I jus want to keep to myself . I feel like I’m not even attracted to my girl anymore. I love her to bits 😞

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous Yea I definitely have a lot of ups and downs. I feel the same towards my boyfriend sometimes I feel like I just hate him and I don’t want to be with him and that I don’t care about him and I don’t love him and this and that and sometimes it makes me anxious and sometimes it doesn’t like right now it’s not and I think part of me knows it’s just cause I’m writing it and I’m not necessarily having those thoughts right now but when I do have them and I don’t feel anything I just don’t know what to do

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous I really just feel like I don’t care about anything or anyone.

Anonymo12

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous Why does it feel like sometimes when ur at relief that that’s ur real side coming out but then with hocd it says to u that’s the fake side and this is ur real side. Makes me think it’s okay to be gay and shi but that’s jus notnme. I don’t wanna be that. I don’t have a issue with ppl like that it jus isn’t me. I want to marry and have a girl and kids. It’s hard because hocd jus made my sec drive so low😞

Anonymo12

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous Mine says I’m in love w my bsf. Sometimes makes me feel jealous when I’m not acc jealous. And I sit back and think Wtf is happening to me I hate this. He’s like a brother to me.

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous Yea I understand. Same for me but with girls. It’s so confusing and I wish I could be just confident in who I am or was I should say. I always dreamed of having a boyfriend and getting married and having kids and I would always say that would be the highlight of my life and now I feel like I don’t want anything and I don’t want kids or to get married maybe because I am afraid but I’m not sure I feel like everything I was before OCD has been ruined and has changed me entirely. I hate it and I would do anything to go back even though while typing this it feels wrong and that I don’t actually want to go back and I like this and this is me. I don’t know anything. Everything is a battle.

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous I just want to know who I really am and be confident in that. I used to know who I was and now I know nothing and feel like everything I never wanted is who I am and there’s nothing I can do about it. I can’t even confidently say I want to go back

Anonymo12

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous This literally explains it for me 😞. I used to plan my life w her and kids and marriage. I’ve always been the guy into a girl and wanting marriage and treating her right. Now I’m scared Wha if I can’t do stuff w her sexually? Or wha if I can’t get it up! Wha if I’m gay and I come out while married and ruin her life ? I was never like this. I overcame hocd in 2021 and the intrusive thoughts went away. For a year and a half until August 2023. These thoughts tell me that was all fake and not real and I didn’t overcome anything. I’m scared ima feel numb when I see her next😞.

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous I get it. I feel for a guy it is worrisome about having an erect and stuff because you can overtly see if a guy is aroused and if you don’t get an erection you are afraid of what she is going to think or how she will feel about herself. I’m sure you also want to please her and have a good sex life which I think everyone ones. For me as a girl my worries are a little different. I worry that I won’t be a nurturing, empathetic, wife and an amazing mother that would do anything for her kids and I’m afraid because I don’t feel anything and I don’t see the importance in marriage or having children anymore. It’s sad to me but I can’t even feel sadness lol. I hope that one day I can come back to myself but I know I have to be okay with the fact that I might not. I also deal with getting married and than breaking my boyfriends heart because I truly am gay. Have you talked to her about it? I told my boyfriend because I didn’t want to blindside him if that were the case. But Ik what OCD feels and looks like to me and right now this doesn’t feel like it and it’s kinda scary. Sorry this is all over the place.

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 24w

I don’t care about anything today

I feel so numb. I’m having awful intrusive thoughts TERRIBLE and I don’t care. I’m even replying to them in a way that concerns me honestly, it doesn’t feel like intentional sarcasm. It feels like I genuinely don’t have morals right now and even saying that, barely care. I’m so irritated by everything. I feel anger and just closed off. I’m so tired, I just want to zone out. I feel so UGH.

Anonymous

Date posted: 13w

I feel so different from others

I feel different from others, I don’t feel as feminine and I feel like I’ve changed. I’m not sure why I feel this way. I also don’t think my ocd is ocd, it’s just something I told myself to feel better. I know! What if I am what if I’m not, I get it, but I don’t feel like i have a choice in the matter anymore. I have soocd and it’s eaten me alive for years. I woke up out of my sleep and got triggered and here I am. I don’t know what I feel anymore. I always wanted a boyfriend and now It seemed to change. I don’t want a girlfriend, it’s just that I don’t see anything for myself and I feel like I’m hiding. It’s hard to explain. Plus sometimes the way I move or speak makes me feel more masculine and it kills me. Im feeling so lost and alone right now. I know what I want deep down but I feel incapable of having those things because I won’t be able to have feeling. If that makes sense.

Sexual Orientation OCD

Mariabae

Date posted: 13w

would like a response

Lately, I’ve been feeling like something has changed in me — like I have changed, and like my feelings for my boyfriend have faded or shifted. It’s one of the worst sensations I’ve ever felt. I keep thinking things like “I don’t love him like before” or “I’ve changed too much to feel anything now.” Sometimes when he calls me or makes a joke, I get irritated for no reason. I feel like I’m being mean, cold, disconnected — and then guilt crashes down on me. I remember how I used to feel: warm, close, expressive. And now… I just don’t feel the same. That makes me think: “Maybe I’ve fallen out of love.” But I’m also constantly anxious. I overthink every moment. I can’t relax into anything without analyzing if what I feel is “right.” It makes me wonder — maybe I haven’t actually changed. Maybe I’m just overwhelmed and tired from months of these thoughts and fears. I don’t know how to feel right now. I just want to believe that this disconnection isn’t proof that love is gone, but a sign that I’m scared and burnt out.

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