Losing feelings and sexual thoughts about girls

I visited her over the summer and I had the best time but before I went back I started feeling numb and dissociated. Like I had no feelings, I am back at school and I feel the same way worse even. I feel nothing, I have thoughts like I don’t love her anymore and I feel urges to break up. I have been fantasizing about someone and anytime I see that person my brain is telling me to check if she is pretty, staring at her. I also feel attracted to most girls, I have thoughts that I should experience college life even though deep down I know I don’t want to. It is so difficult because I feel nothing to what my girlfriend says, all I could say is that I am sorry. Even when I say that I struggle to, my mind makes me think I don’t want to be be back to normal and it feels so real it is scary. The same thing happened last year too. I got to school and I started fantasizing about being with someone else, I followed that person and once I knew she didn’t have any interest I was back to sort of normalcy. I don’t know what to do. It is overwhelming. I am still feeling this way and my girlfriend decided to take a break because she is unhappy about what I say about my thoughts brings her confidence about herself down, I feel nothing towards her. have thoughts that I am a manipulator and narcissist, thoughts that I don't care about breaking up, that she is fat, not attractive, etc and that I can just move on and date other people or live the typical college life or download dating apps and engage in hooking up with people. I also have thoughts about people performing oral sex a certain way that I want it to be like, anytime I see a girl my mind thinks oh she can probably give a good oral sex then I have the image of how it would be in my head, I also have this fetish/kink with acrylic nails that if a girl has it my mind start to fantasize about the person performing oral sex on my with the nails or having sex with them. I am not sure if this is because of watching 🌽. Anyone else feeling like this or have experienced this?

Anon113444422

Date posted: 1y

Porn definitely does affect the brain try to refrain because it sounds like your using it as ritual and reassure yourself which you shouldn’t do. Your not in denial your not weird. Your strong brave and you got this here’s a list my therapist gave me on how to respond to these thoughts and urges.

Anon113444422

Date posted: 1y

- Act Like You Like it Say things that indicate you actually like what OCD is telling you to fear. Fake smile, laugh, take on relaxed body posture. - Utilize Mindfulness Bring yourself fully into the present. Describe the exposure task. Name your fears and emotions. -Label & Abandon Label the ritual as something OCD and fear want you to do. It is your choice not to do them. Do anything but the ritual! Take a walk, watch T.V., or even pick your nose! -Sit With It Ultimately, response prevention is about doing nothing-- refusing to engage in the behavior OCD wants you to. The more distress you feel, the faster your body and brain will begin to habituate. Teach Your Brain These fears and obsessions have no purpose or value! Ask yourself if these thoughts are really serving you in the long run, or if they are strengthening OCD. - Opposite Action Do the opposite of what your fear tells you. When it says to avoid, instead, approach! This is what counselors call the healing paradox. -Delay or Postpone Delay doing compulsions or rituals that OCD tells you to do. Wait 5 minutes and up to multiple days! -Undo It Do a behavior or think a thought that goes against your compulsions. Examples are, thinking of something unlucky or touching something dirty after washing hands. -Act Like You Don't Care Say things that indicate an attitude of indifference. It's okay to feel like you're acting! -Use Your Supports Ask family, friends, or loved ones for words of encouragement. Avoid reassurance! -Add to OCD Shock your bully into submission by agreeing with it. “I am a bad person, thank you! I think I’ll be an even worse person tomorrow!" You do not actually have to believe these, you are simply facing your bully. -Shock Your OCD Shock your fear by digging even deeper and exposing yourself to more feared stimuli. Think, "I'll show you not to mess with me!" -Make It Ridiculous Make fun of OCD! Say your obsessive thoughts out loud in a funny or really slow voice -Reward Yourself Reward yourself whenever you do an exposure and don't engage in compulsions or rituals! -R.I.D.E. It Out Rename the thought: "This is OCD, not me." Insist that YOU are in charge. Defy OCD. Do the opposite. Enjoy your success--> "I did it, and I can do it again." -Breathe Take a moment to do some box breathing to activate your parasympathetic nervous system. 5-5-7 -Accept Separate feelings of shame and guilt from the fact that you have intrusive thoughts and fears. Accept the process and your efforts. It's okay to make mistakes. -Meditate Bring yourself into an attitude of detached observation. Focus on your breathing. -Commit to Uncertainty When OCD & fear tell you to figure something out, commit to being uncertain. Say to yourself, "Maybe, maybe not..." -Name Your Stregnths Without reassuring yourself, name your unchangeable qualities. "I am brave. I can do hard things. I am strong."

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

Thank you so much for the detailed response. Can you please comment an example of how that would work with what I listed in my post if you don’t mind. Thanks

Mariabae

Date posted: 18w

Tomorrow is our 2-year anniversary, and I feel absolutely nothing.

It hurts so much to write that. Lately, every time I talk to my boyfriend — whether it’s through text or in person — I feel this deep irritation, like everything he says or does annoys me. Sometimes, it even feels like disgust, and it’s terrifying. I don’t feel love. I don’t feel excitement. I don’t even feel sadness about not feeling anything… just numb. I look at him and I don’t feel like I used to. I don’t know what happened to me. I used to be so sure I loved him, and now I feel like a completely different person — cold, distant, empty. My brain keeps telling me: “You don’t love him anymore. You never did. You’re only staying out of habit.” My mom told me that if I don’t like him anymore, then I’m hurting both him and myself by staying in this. And hearing that broke me. Because that’s exactly what I fear — that I’m faking everything, and I just don’t want to admit the truth. I feel so lost. And I don’t know how to separate my thoughts from reality anymore. All I know is that I want to feel something again — anything. Because right now, all I feel is guilt, fear, and confusion. i used to know these thoughts are just thoughts and that if i didn’t have them i would be so happy but now, i cant think aboyr that bc the thoughts feel too real.

polish_germa...

Date posted: 16w

Can it still be OCD if I don’t feel sexual attraction to my partner anymore?

Hi everyone, I’m a 30-year-old woman, and I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 5 years. I’ve always felt emotionally close to him — he’s caring, supportive, and we planned a future together, including having a family. I don’t want to leave him. He means so much to me. But for a while now, I’ve been obsessing over the fact that I don’t feel much sexual attraction to him anymore. It’s not like I never felt anything — when we first met, there were butterflies, excitement, emotional connection… something real. He was never “just a friend” to me. But the physical side of the relationship feels like it’s slowly faded, and I’m panicking about what that means. I keep thinking things like: – “Maybe I chose the wrong person.” – “You can’t be in love without sexual desire.” – “If I was truly in love, I would still want him.” – “What if I’ve been lying to myself this whole time?” Sometimes my body reacts — I can feel physical closeness or even arousal — but my mind shuts down and says: “no, this isn’t right.” Other times, I feel tension, resistance, or even disgust during intimacy, and I can’t tell if that’s anxiety or if something is fundamentally wrong. What makes this even more confusing is that I truly believe that real love includes sexual attraction. For me, it’s all part of one feeling — not separate. So if the attraction is gone, does that mean the love is too? Is it possible that this is still OCD — that my mind is obsessing and disconnecting me from my real feelings? Has anyone experienced something similar? Any support would mean so much. I feel so stuck between my mind and my heart.

LiaExe28

Date posted: 14w

Couple of rough days - soocd

I’m like 90% sure I’m just bi, more romantically inclined to men, mainly my bf who I wanna marry. But now my brain is like “if you lean into liking women or keep circling and circling for answers you’ll lose all attraction to men and your bf. You’re practically already a lesbian” I feel so tense and anxious I will admit I am talking to chat gpt out of desperation I’m scared of losing all attraction to him I don’t wanna be thinking about women. I don’t unless I’m really stressed cuz when I’m stressed my ocd can take advantage of that I can usually ground myself when I’m in the city with him but I’m back home for most of the summer and I can’t be physically close to him which usually reminds me that hey this is real this is what I really want in life. Him But then I panic and question I haven’t been here in a while tbh. I’m worried I don’t feel enough. I don’t like magic Mike all that much, I like softer guys. But now the fact I don’t like/get turned on by random men on tv but do women in lingerie really stresses me out and makes me worry I’m truly a lesbian but I’m not. Once I started getting to know my bf and my ex bf’s I really did truly genuinely like them and wanted to make out and everything. Idk can anyone relate to the not liking big buff men All my brain is repeating rn is “when he dies you’ll be able to date a woman, when you break up you’ll only wanna date women” and it’s stressing me out. It’s making me nauseous. I was doing well for about a couple days after I initially left but being at home has been so incredibly draining This might give you a vision of how stressful home is: I’ve been on nexplanon for 7 months ish? Only had very minimal spotting during a stressful school period. Today: fully bleeding, like a usual period. I haven’t had my period since having it put in. I wanna go back to my bf so badly rn. I’m so worried I’m faking or don’t feel enough. I’m learning what a healthy relationship looks like and I’m terrified I’m gonna up and leave him when we’re older cuz I’ll finally figure out that I’m a lesbian or smthn. Idk. Someone pls just help me out a tad

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Losing feelings and sexual thoughts about girls

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