ROCD Struggles
I’ve recently been having a lot of distress about my relationship and things surrounding it due to OCD. I was wondering if you have OCD, how does it present itself in your relationship(s) (thoughts, feelings, urges, images, etc)?
For me it can lead me to analyze how much I love my spouse in the given moment
For me, I get thoughts, feelings, lack of feelings, images…it’s rather distressing and some days feels all-consuming. OCD asks me to analyze love, attraction (it really likes to grab onto this one). It has also looped my religious OCD theme into the mix, asking if I deserve my fiancé because of things I may have or have not done, or whether those things were immoral or not, in the past. It’s made me worry God will take away my fiancé, or doom the relationship, because of something done wrong. When it makes me anxious when I’m around him, that hurts because I just want to enjoy my time with him. It asks me if I’m enjoying my time enough, and then by ruminating it reduces how much I can stay in the moment and enjoy myself even more. Then when he’s not around, and the anxiety drops a bit, I feel lonely. I follow my values in these situations, as I know I value my relationship with him, and we share a lot of the same values. My relationship with him is very healthy and I care about him and love him deeply. I also value my faith, so I keep going to church and I even sing in my church choir, even though triggers come up at church. OCD inserts all this doubt, and tells me I need to figure it out before I get married (in reality I don’t have to figure out what OCD wants me to), and basically tries to undermine anything it can in my relationship. Then it tries to make me doubt I have OCD at all. Without getting bogged down compulsively in the details, I can see there is a pattern of this affecting my romantic relationships my entire life. Different triggers, same OCD. I also know there are other people dealing with this too. And I know others have found great success with therapy and ERP, and medication can help too. Some things that help are knowing I can still do things when I’m anxious, sad, scared etc. I can still choose to do what I want to do. I can be unsure, I can be uncertain, and still make choices and follow what I value.
@Ambs K Thank you for sharing your experience! It sucks that we get less anxious when we aren’t with are partners. I wish it were the opposite. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone in what I feel:)
I fear divorce or ‘catastrophic’ ending of some sort like them cheating, me falling in love with someone else, sexless relationship, parents hating me or them, etc It leads to worry, over communication, preoccupation with the relationship or my partner rather than my life.
I have relationship anxiety and my ocd attacks it all the time. Yesterday I felt weird in my body like things are not real so I sat with that and how much it sucked to feel that way and reminded myself of the cognitive distortion that feelings are not facts. I struggle when driving with someone or cooking… performance time things. Like they are watching and I want to stumble and fumble and feel weird…
For me, it’s a mix of all the above. Intrusive thoughts, feelings and images.
For me, it’s a very volatile experience. At times, I ruminate about why my wife would want to be with me. Other times I ruminate about my feelings, too.
Lots of rocd here. All the time... monitoring checking my partners tone etc do they still love me ... so tiring. I just acknowledge it and carry on.
So my most current theme has been ROCD. It’s been nagging at me for the last 4 years. OCD makes me INCREDIBLY self critical and I often turn that internal voice on to my partner and can be incredibly critical of him. In essence, I’m almost subconsciously sabotaging my relationship which is the OPPOSITE of what I want. I’m looking for people who experience this same response and patterned behaviour. Share tips, in-the-moment awareness suggestions. Words of encouragement (not reassurance). OCD is such a trip lol
Anyone with Relationship ocd? Can you please share what it’s like for you ?
Hi guys! I believe I have an OCD since I was around 12. I remember then I had a lot of intrusive thoughts about religious things and I had a counting compulsion (I thought that If I don't count to 8 in specific moments, someone gets hurt) During later years it was really changing - I stopped being religious, so the OCD theme also stopped. Then I had I reckon SOCD, harm OCD and many others. But for know my main topic is ROCD. But because of the fact that this is my main intrusive thoughts topic I start to have this awful thoughts that this is not OCD, I'm just with the wrong person and I need to accept this fact. This is really struggling for me, because i really love my bf and Im in the healthy realtionship but Im so tired of having this kind of thoughts, sometimes I cannot sleep because of them. Also the fact that I've never been diagnosed (I cannot go on theraphy right now unfortunately) is another trigger because I have thoughts that I dont really have OCD, I just making this up, because I cannot accept the truth. Is there someone with similar experiance? Or maybe someone who can have advice for me?
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