- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 1y ago
(Trigger warning ⚠️) Some of my compulsions with harm OCD are: constantly clearing my throat, checking my heart rate, looking into my mouth, blowing my nose, really hard, saying the word hello to make sure I’m not choking, swallowing water nonstop, asking my partner multiple times if they are okay, constantly checking my ring cameras, going to the doctor or er, googling symptoms, looking for reassurance from a loved one that I am okay, checking the color of my lips. I hope this helps! And sorry if this was triggering!
- Date posted
- 1y ago
Thank you :)
- Date posted
- 1y ago
For me, it’s stuff like: avoidance, googling/looking on NOCD and Reddit to see if people have experienced what I have, arguing with the thoughts (so for example: “no this can’t be true because…”), repeating I think? (sometimes I’ll say “no that’s bad!! that’s bad!” like I’m trying to make it stick by scolding myself), trying to correct/replace negative thoughts (like, sometimes I’ll try to remove negative aspects of thoughts and replace them with good aspects), shaking my head/cringing, self-punishment?? sort of?? (I’ve always been sort of self-critical so idk if that’s really a compulsion but I’m sure it doesn’t help and it gets worse after thoughts sometimes), sleeping (to a degree), and there are times where I’ve scratched myself too (and that probably counts as self-harm which isn’t good but it’s happened so). I probably have others that I’m not remembering but that’s some of them.
- Date posted
- 1y ago
@bkelp213 also I just realized how crowded this all looks, woops. My bad 😓
- Date posted
- 1y ago
@bkelp213 It's okey! Thank you for responding, I relate :)
- Date posted
- 1y ago
telling myself it’s not real, googling, knocking on wood twice, reassurance and confessing my thoughts
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w ago
Hello! I'm new here and new to OCD. My therapist suggested I might have OCD due to my tendency to ruminate endlessly on doubts and fears. These thoughts are indeed intrusive and I can't seem to stop them. The thing I'm kind of stuck on is that I can't see where the compulsions come in. Unless the thoughts themselves are compulsions. Can anyone relate to this?
- Date posted
- 14w ago
Hi everyone, I wanted to reach out to see if anyone else has experienced something similar with OCD and intrusive thoughts. I’ve been struggling during moments of intimacy because intrusive thoughts, particularly ones related to POCD, feel so ‘sticky’—like they’re all I can picture. Even though I really want the thoughts to go away, they persist, and I’ve been trying not to avoid intimacy because of them. However, that makes me feel like I’m somehow ‘enjoying’ the thoughts or images, which I really dislike. It’s like my brain is playing this awful trick, and it’s leaving me feeling confused and gross. I guess I’m supposed to not let the thoughts bother me and continue as if nothing’s wrong, but I’m scared that by doing so, I’m almost training myself to get off to them or something. This fear makes it so hard to trust myself in those moments, and it’s been overwhelming. If anyone else has been through this, how do you handle it?
- Date posted
- 13w ago
1. Thoughts about Not Loving My Boyfriend: • “What if I don’t love him?” • “I feel like I’ve lost my feelings for him.” • “I don’t feel love the way I used to.” 2. Fear of Changing or Being Different: • “What if I’ve changed and this is the real me now?” • “What if I’ve grown out of the relationship?” 3. Doubt About Attraction: • “I’m not attracted to him anymore.” • “I feel numb when I look at him.” 4. Thoughts of Disconnection and Irritation: • “I feel irritated when he shows affection.” • “I feel bored or disconnected when we talk.” • “Why do I feel like I can’t stand him sometimes?” 5. Fear of Denial: • “What if I’m in denial and I’m just pretending to love him?” • “What if all these thoughts are true?” 6. Fear of Being a Bad Person: • “I’m a terrible person for feeling this way.” • “I’m ruining my relationship and hurting him.” 7. General Anxiety About the Future: • “What if I’ll fall for someone else in the future?” • “What if I’ll never feel love again?” 8. Intrusive Thoughts from the Past: • “I had violent thoughts about my dad.” • “I worried I was a pedophile after seeing a video.” Feelings Associated with These Thoughts: 1. Numbness and Emotional Disconnection: • Feeling emotionally flat or unable to access love or joy. 2. Guilt and Shame: • Feeling like a bad person or partner. 3. Hopelessness and Despair: • Feeling like things will never get better. • Believing i am stuck this way forever. 4. Irritation and Frustration: • Getting annoyed when my boyfriend shows affection. 5. Fear and Panic: • Experiencing overwhelming anxiety when questioning my feelings. 6. Sadness and Confusion: • Crying frequently, feeling lost, or not understanding why i feel this way. Compulsions I Engage In: 1. Reassurance Seeking: • Constantly asking others if everything is okay or if your feelings are normal. 2. Researching and Googling: • Searching for answers about ROCD, anxiety, and relationships online. • Checking forums like the NOCD app for reassurance. 3. Mental Checking and Analysis: • Constantly checking if i feel love, attraction, or connection. • Analyzing every interaction and emotion to see if they’re “right.” 4. Confessing: • Telling your boyfriend or others about your thoughts to relieve guilt or doubt. 5. Avoidance: • Pulling back from conversations or interactions with my boyfriend due to anxiety. 6. Comparing: • Comparing your current feelings to how you used to feel at the beginning of the relationship. 7. Self-Criticism: • Judging yourself harshly and believing i am a terrible person. FEELING SO REAL I’m struggling with ROCD and it’s consuming me. My intrusive thoughts make me feel like I don’t love my boyfriend, that I’ve changed, or that I’m a terrible person. These thoughts make me feel numb, disconnected, and hopeless. My compulsions include constant reassurance-seeking, analyzing my feelings, researching online, and confessing my fears. It’s exhausting, and I’m desperate to feel like myself again. Does anyone relate to this? How do you cope?
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