- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 1y
(Trigger warning ⚠️) Some of my compulsions with harm OCD are: constantly clearing my throat, checking my heart rate, looking into my mouth, blowing my nose, really hard, saying the word hello to make sure I’m not choking, swallowing water nonstop, asking my partner multiple times if they are okay, constantly checking my ring cameras, going to the doctor or er, googling symptoms, looking for reassurance from a loved one that I am okay, checking the color of my lips. I hope this helps! And sorry if this was triggering!
- Date posted
- 1y
Thank you :)
- Date posted
- 1y
For me, it’s stuff like: avoidance, googling/looking on NOCD and Reddit to see if people have experienced what I have, arguing with the thoughts (so for example: “no this can’t be true because…”), repeating I think? (sometimes I’ll say “no that’s bad!! that’s bad!” like I’m trying to make it stick by scolding myself), trying to correct/replace negative thoughts (like, sometimes I’ll try to remove negative aspects of thoughts and replace them with good aspects), shaking my head/cringing, self-punishment?? sort of?? (I’ve always been sort of self-critical so idk if that’s really a compulsion but I’m sure it doesn’t help and it gets worse after thoughts sometimes), sleeping (to a degree), and there are times where I’ve scratched myself too (and that probably counts as self-harm which isn’t good but it’s happened so). I probably have others that I’m not remembering but that’s some of them.
- Date posted
- 1y
@bkelp213 also I just realized how crowded this all looks, woops. My bad 😓
- Date posted
- 1y
@bkelp213 It's okey! Thank you for responding, I relate :)
- Date posted
- 1y
telling myself it’s not real, googling, knocking on wood twice, reassurance and confessing my thoughts
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I’m really struggling with something related to me ocd, and I would appreciate kind and supportive advice. If you can’t relate or don’t think anything you have to say would be helpful, I kindly ask pls refrain from commenting this is a really sensitive topic for me. Recently, I’ve noticed a pattern that feels something extremely new and distressing. The first time it happened I remember telling myself before self pleasuring that I am in control no matter what thought comes into my mind because I wanted to prove to myself that these thoughts are just from OCD and I know who I am and an intrusive that came out of no where, and i suddenly felt an intense fear that I was acting on it. In the moment I genuinely felt like I did. And afterword, I panicked and started questioning myself. This SAME FEELING has happened three times in a row each time, the intrusive thought was unwanted and random, and completely against my morals most recently it involved pocd and it feels even worse because it generally felt like I acted on it the thought in the moment while I was self pleasuring the panic doesn’t hit until afterwards when I stop :/ I start thinking that maybe I generally made a mistake and I’m now just realizing that it’s wrong because it generally feels like that :( but when I actually think about it again goes against my morals and values doesn’t make sense it feels incredibly real, and I can’t seem to shake this feeling off that I may have acted on it I’m terrified because I never wanted these thoughts in the first place. And I definitely didn’t choose them. If I had known, I would’ve had these intrusive thoughts I wouldn’t have self pleasured in the first place but it’s extremely hard to convince myself that this may be OCD because I feel like I have no other reason to believe that I didn’t act on it :/
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 22w
no clue if this is compulsive, but I’m interested to hear any obsessions others have that aren’t the “common” ones you see online about what ROCD is? a few for me: - thoughts about their partner being with someone else instead (sometimes a specific person) and then trying to analyze your reaction to it? e.g. does it *feel* more right than us, do I actually feel happy for them, etc. - trying to imagine your partner in your current situation or maybe a specific future situation (when they’re not around) and trying to decide if they “fit” in it? - being super scared of losing them, then suddenly feeling like you don’t care much for them at all, and just constantly cycling? - I almost never fully enjoyed sex because I was constantly obsessing about whether or not I was turned on, turned on “enough,” if I was just having groinal responses and wasn’t actually turned on, looking at his face just to decide if I find him attractive enough, comparing my experience with how I feel watching content alone, etc.
- Date posted
- 21w
I’ve been feeling the urge to avoid intimacy or purposefully engage (for reassurance that I won’t give into a compulsion) because of intrusive thoughts and fear that I’ll “check/test” my reactions. My OCD is making me so scared that I’ll purposefully think of a child and try to see if I like it. It’s so complicated but I guess I’m mentally checking if I would mentally check during intimacy. I’ve even envisioned myself checking and it’s making me so nauseous. I know it’s a compulsion like any other but the sound of “touching yourself to the thought of a child” sounds atrocious and vile. I’m terrified I’ll automatically start checking next time I am being intimate. I truly feel so worried. If anyone has gone through something similar, I’d appreciate hearing your experience. Or if anyone has any advice?
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