I’ve tried to tell my grandma how bad I feel, that I’m scared that I am a bad person and she tried to reassure me by telling me "as long as you don’t have thoughts about harming people then it’s okay" but I do have very bad intrusive graphic thoughts/images and since then I’ve been feeling even worse. I don’t know what to do, all I’ve been doing since our call is thinking even more about it, reading every pure o article ever written and feeling very anxious when I don’t have the same symptoms as a diagnosed person. I feel hopeless, my brain is literally trying to kill me. I know I’m not supposed to be reassured but I just needed to get that out because I can’t say anything to my family and friends, and it’s driving me insane. I’m so scared of my own mind.

"Pure" OCD

damosuzuki

Date posted: 6y

Not everyone is able to understand. That's the hardest part of having OCD: being triggered by the people we love. But if you try to explain to the person who you think to be the most sensible among your beloved ones what's going on in your mind, expecting a certain discretion and gentleness, you could have some kind of comeback. You don't need to tell the obsessions, if you just don't feel like. But some little support can help so much. I'm still very secretive about my rOCD, I'm pretty picky about the people whom I choose to reveal my thoughts to, but sometimes it helps. Keep fighting

Swizzle65

Date posted: 6y

I'm guessing your grandma, being a grandma, is and elderly lady and therefore comes from a generation who were not made aware of mental illness like we are today. Therefore it's understandable that she may not understand what you are going through as she wont be as familiar and probably less educated with such issues! Ocd is probably one of the most misunderstood mental health concerns aswell. You are not your thoughts you are your values.

damosuzuki

Date posted: 6y

My personal experience: I've told my mom that I have been always doubting of all my intimate relationships, and she was like 'even with your current bf? ?' and I was like 'omg now she thinks that i'm not happy enough with him' and that triggered me for the whole day. I think that if I told her that's because of rOCD, she would be like 'don't be silly you are not mentally ill you're just too picky' and that would trigger me x38394993. She loves me so much, but she has some certains patterns that prevent her to be open-minded about this topic.

Anonymous

Date posted: 6y

First of all, realize that you are not a bad person. OCD obsessions are ego - dystonic, which means that they don't allow with your personal desires for life. There is nothing wrong with you, OCD is about a chemical imbalance in the brain and luckily, it can be treated. You must find an OCD therapist to help you. If you can't afford therapy, there is a youtube channel called "Restored Minds". It is helping me a lot with my recovery from OCD. Watch the videos from the beginning and stay positive. You are not alone, about 3% of the population suffer from this disorder. It can be treated and you will achieve victory!

lilye

Date posted: 6y

Thank you so much for all the replies, it helped a lot. I’ll keep your words in mind. I think my insurance covers everything so I just have to find an ocd therapist, since my current one isn’t specialised. Thank you again for taking the time to answer me, it really means a lot.

jsford04

Date posted: 23w

so overwhelmingly sad and need someone to talk to

My OCD has become so bad and I feel so alone. I have religious OCD (Christianity) and I’ve been doing okay with letting the blasphemous thoughts go in the moment, but I’m so overcome with guilt and shame I can barely function. I can feel okay and hopeful for a few minutes and then I’m reminded of the horrible thoughts and how nothing can take them back and I can’t handle the guilt. I’m becoming a burden to my family and feel so alone. I do not know what to do. Please help.

bradyx20

Date posted: 21w

don’t know what’s happening to me

i haven’t been diagnosed with ocd but I have anxiety about harming other people/family members and it’s like urges and im scared I actually want to do it? I don’t think I’ve ever been violent as a kid (im 21 now) and the intrusive thoughts don’t go away so im just stuck all day everyday for the past few weeks just thinking and being scared about it and im having all these weird emotions like being irritated and angry I don’t want to hurt people I don’t think idk why my mind is making me think I do I’ve had intrusive thoughts before that I could brush away sure it took like a day or two but this one is different it doesn’t go away and leaves me with the worst fear imaginable and nothing I look up that should be giving me relief is giving me relief + I feel like im not in control of my body and that im just gonna lose it and act on these thoughts it’s just all on a loop and im not sure how im supposed to live the rest of my life when im in constant fear of my self

Andi 🤓☝️

Date posted: 14w

So distressed plz help :( 18+

*tmi warning* I'm so worried im a P. Ive been crying daily unable to do anything else but ruminate over my real events. When i was 14 (before ocd) i was watching adult content and it was censored. The woman had similar features like hair and skin color as my niece. I remember noticing that and saying "huh i guess I'll imagine that as the adult version of my niece" and I did and after i was finished i moved on and didnt think anything was wrong. I dont know if i ever thought about that again? Its so blurry ocd keeps saying i did it again in a different time but i dont remember its too blurry and its scaring me so badly! I didnt even remember this till like literally last week and i wanted to die! Im 20 for context. When I remembered i immediately broke down in tears. I vaguely rmemeber this other thought i had of her when self pleasuring when I was 16??? I think it was a testing thought out of distress? But im not sure at all! It was extremely vague image and unrealistic i dont think I liked it but maybe i did?! Im so distressed its like i remmeber 2 versions of this particular event which is why I think its ocd false memories from there. Ive been ruminating and spiraling for almost a week. I keep crying i havent ate well at all in days ive been honestly dehydrating myself and i cannot sleep. I feel like a monster. I did the mistake of researching last night and kept comparing myself to the "criteria" of those sickos and like I felt so distressed. I also have been asking ai for hours on end everyday. I feel so distressed im literally crying rn as i write this i cant calm down i feel like this sick individual even tho I dont even like thinking of that at all i dont think I meant ill intent when i was a teen but its killing me inside. I would NEVER harm anyone nor want to or plan to, deep down i know I would never act out in those evil ways but like whats killing me is what if im attracted?! Is this a sign?! Am i one of those people?! Am i attracted to my niece bc of those 2 maybe even 3(??)thoughts years ago?! Did i mean ill intent?! Am I an actual danger?! Am I a monster??? I have so many urges to confess to my mom im so scared what this all means or could mean. I feel so alone and scared. Like legit whenever i get intrusive thoughts about gross stuff i feel disgusted and anxious and push it away. Those thoughts do not bring me pleasure whatsoever but this real event is making me doubt my own identity 😔

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