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Being in a simulation or real world doesn’t matter it would be the same. Even Carl Jung believed in coincidences being determined so that also fine, maybe they are, doesn’t matter. I don’t know specifically what your religious ocd is but let the shame and judgement go. You will be fine if you let everything go and just exist. We that have ocd create this prison for ourselves, a prison of control.

I relate to this. I have very severe contamination ocd and have been mostly homebound, and feel as though I have lost a lot of time in my prime. I have tried therapy for many years and medication, and can’t seem to overcome it. There are some options for “treatment-resistant ocd” you may want to look into, like deep brain stimulation - usually only used when all other avenues have been totally exhausted. But it may be worth asking a professional if these are something you should begin to consider. Additionally, I know the concept of a “psych ward” sounds scary, but some people who haven’t had success with other treatments have found tremendous success at some of the reputable inpatient OCD treatment centers. I would recommend looking into McLean and Rogers.