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Username: cam1724

Date posted: 1y ago

Please help, rocd

I genuinely concerned. I have relationship ocd and see all these posts more so of partner focused, it being attracted to other people. I don’t have this at all. All my ocd is relationship focused and I’m starting to think it’s not ocd anymore!! Every single second I feel like I want to or should break up with him. I don’t feel that spark or infatuation and haven’t since the beginning. What if we just aren’t a good match? Even though he thinks we are. He’s my first healthy relationship. I feel sick. I feel like I’m prolonging the breakup because I just don’t wanna be alone or hurt him 😢

Relationship OCD

Username: rhaines rhaines

Date posted: 1y ago

You said it yourself- he’s your first healthy relationship. Maybe it feels unusual because you’ve always had chaos in relationships (that often comes with that spark). Often healthy relationships don’t even have a spark and feel comfy. But when you get these thoughts, think ‘so what ocd? Maybe, maybe not. But we can handle it’.

Username: cam1724cam1724

Date posted: 1y ago

@rhaines I constantly feel like I’m lying to both of us, this is absolute hell 😞 it’s so so so hard which makes me think I’m just running from the truth 😢

Username: MochelleMochelle

Date posted: 1y ago

@cam1724 I really related to this. The feeling of lying to your partner. Just remember, these feelings are created from panic, so it'll feel like we are lying, but we are just overwhelmed and cannot process facts correctly. This feeling won't last forever, believe me!

Username: MochelleMochelle

Date posted: 1y ago

@cam1724 Heres an exposure i do: "Maybe I am, maybe I'm not running from the truth. Maybe I don't love my bf. But I won't act on it now. I will see this through and commit. Ocd can't stop me, I don't need to be sure, i dont need to feel butterflies 100% of the time. Let's do <insert activity here> instead!"

Username: cam1724cam1724

Date posted: 1y ago

Someone please help 😞

Username: Miss LynnMiss Lynn

Date posted: 1y ago

This is exactly how I have been feeling! Like we have a deep history I love him he’s such a great guy an he does everything for me an loves me an it’s definitely my first healthy relationship.. but we have been together for 5 months and I impulsively moved in with him after a month an Ik it’s wat he wanted but now all I think about is like wat if I’m jus with him cuz I can count on him an I’m safe with him an I’m comfortable.. wat if one day I decide to leave him an ghost him like I have done every other guy the past 5 years an he is just left heartbroken.. would I even care? Or would I just leave him behind an justify wat I did by using my mental health as an excuse.. ugh 😩😮‍💨😭

Username: cam1724cam1724

Date posted: 1y ago

@Miss Lynn I get those same thoughts 😢 I’ve been with mine for almost 6 months, but for the first 3, I was obsessed and scared of the fact that he would get bored and leave me, now it’s the other way around. I’m losing my mind. My thoughts don’t come as what ifs anymore and every single second I’m miserable and just defeated from my brain. But I love him and do want to be with him, but it’s like something won’t let me!! I’m scared it’s really bc deep down I don’t want it 😞

Username: Miss LynnMiss Lynn

Date posted: 1y ago

@cam1724 I feel that.. or my brain tries to pick out reasons for me to not b with him maybe because deep down I feel like I’m not good enough for him an dnt deserve him.. but he’s rly the most understanding person I’ve ever met. I’m very new to understanding that I have OCD so I rly dnt even know wat to do with the information an sometimes i think it make it worse that I know wats wrong with me now.. it’s super controversial 😮‍💨😮‍💨

Username: cam1724cam1724

Date posted: 1y ago

@Miss Lynn Mine has been unbearable, it’s all day every day. And my boyfriend is the most amazing man I’ve ever met. So patient and understand and I feel like deserves so much better. I’m freaking out now because I really feel like deep down I’m just running from the truth and that I don’t want this 😢

Username: rhaines rhaines

Date posted: 1y ago

@cam1724 I may not have had this theme, but I’ve had the same cycle. It’s so normal I swear, it’s ocd playing tricks on you. If you don’t already, please book an appointment with an ocd therapist. Getting to grips wit uncertainty is the key.

Username: rhaines rhaines

Date posted: 1y ago

@rhaines Also tell your boyfriend about your ocd. Tell him he shouldn’t give your reassurance as that’s a compultion but he can help with regulating your emotions

Username: cam1724cam1724

Date posted: 1y ago

@rhaines I’m so scared it’s not ocd anymore 😢 I’m genuinely scared that it’s just my codependency and I’m scared to be alone or hurt him. What if I just wasn’t ready or didn’t want a relationship? 😞 I’m literally losing my mind. He knows I have it and is so supportive

Username: rhaines rhaines

Date posted: 1y ago

@cam1724 So many questions that your ocd is posing! When these questions arise don’t ruminate on them. Accept uncertainty by responding with non engagement responses. So what if it’s not ocd? You can deal with it together, either way. Try your best to get out of your thoughts by getting into the present moment (5 senses, distraction)

Username: cam1724cam1724

Date posted: 1y ago

@rhaines Thank you 🥺 it just feels like I can’t be with him and I hate it!! I’m constantly in my thoughts 😞 so much so that my boss called me into her office today because she can notice 😞

Username: rhaines rhaines

Date posted: 1y ago

Bless you, I totally feel your pain! Ocd is so hard. I’m not sure if you’re in therapy or any medication but that will help so much! The more you practice mindfulness, the easier it gets. When you’re overthinking catch yourself, and then I like to pick out all the things in the room that are blue (or any colour). And keep keeping your mind off of ocd thoughts by doing stuff like that.

Username: cam1724cam1724

Date posted: 1y ago

@rhaines I feel like I’ve already mourned this relationship. I keep getting worse and worse. This morning I felt absolutely numb. And really felt like I wanted to end it. I still feel that way. And I’m really worried it’s going to happen. It feels too real to be anything but 😢 I keep thinking of our memories and I’ve been sad all day as if we’ve already broken up. Im so lost. I’ve become so depressed, haven’t been taking care of myself. I have an appt with an ocd specialist on the 27th and he’s coming with me but I’m scared I can’t even wait that long bc I’m so convinced I’ll break up with him by then 😢

Username: rhaines rhaines

Date posted: 1y ago

You’re so caught up in your thoughts lovely 🥲 I know that feeling. Maybe go to the doctors and get some medication to help in the mean time. I promise you will get over this hard patch soon. Your old negative neural pathways are so strong at the moment but the more you don’t engage with the thoughts and get back to the present, the more positive neural pathways are made. The ocd specialist will help you with this 💜

Username: cam1724cam1724

Date posted: 51w ago

@rhaines I saw a specialist on Monday and was officially diagnosed with ocd, but even though I was diagnosed I’m still doubting that this is what it is. I had a good week and felt clarity, but now it’s all back to feeling absolutely horrible. I see my boyfriend tonight and I don’t even want to gob😢 I really feel like I’m going to break up with him and why does it feel like it’s what I want 😢

Username: rhaines rhaines

Date posted: 49w ago

@cam1724 That’s totally normal. Doing ERP with the specialist will help with these doubts. Ocd is known as the doubt disorder

Username: tasha123

Date posted: 5y ago

Anyone else fear falling out of love with your partner and falling in love with someone else you know of? My ocd convinces me this other guy I go to university with is ‘the one’ and creates false memories! It’s the worst feeling ever i feel so much guilt and don’t feel happy and loving when I’m around my boyfriend anymore :( I don’t want to be with anyone else but my boyfriend I just wish I was happy with him and never had these thoughts in the first place.

Relationship OCD

Username: Tillyyyx

Date posted: 2y ago

I feel so guilty that I didn’t feel an instant spark or chemistry with my boyfriend 🙁 because when I look online all articles/peoples opinions tend to say romantic love stems from lust which is a primal urge that you have straight away with someone it doesn’t develop over time it’s either there or it isn’t ! Also people recall how they fell in love it was the easiest and most natural thing with no doubts . It bothers me to this day, I don’t even know if what I have is ocd or if I’m lying to myself I hate this .

Relationship OCD

Username: EM77

Date posted: 2y ago

I feel terrible and guilty writing this. I find my boyfriend’s best friend really physically attractive, maybe more attractive than my boyfriend. It’s giving me a serious case of “the grass is greener elsewhere” feelings. I find my boyfriend more emotionally attractive though. There’s a lot of “icks” with the other guy but I can’t get past his good looks. My boyfriend and I have similar values and he’d be a great life partner. The other guy, I’m pretty sure, would be emotionally unavailable in a relationship as he’s not looking for anything serious which feels familiar to me as in the past I only fell in love with emotionally unavailable men. My boyfriend isn’t the most conventionally attractive guy, he’s average but sometimes I think he’s really attractive and he does turn me on. I’ve experienced ROCD thoughts since the beginning (am I in love, do I find him attractive enough?). Last weekend was amazing, we’d spent two weeks not seeing each other because we were both away and coming back together felt like the honeymoon phase again. I was so in love and told him I loved him whilst looking him in the eyes and I didn’t doubt my feelings at all. We talked about getting engaged and I was whole heartedly in it. His best friend has become another focus of my anxious thoughts but there’s some truth behind it which makes me more worried and more convinced I shouldn’t be in this relationship. It feels unfair on him but I want him to be my forever. Please don’t be harsh if you comment, it’s taken a lot to type this out and get it off my chest

Relationship OCD

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