Recovery

It’s comforting to know that with OCD, often what makes people describe it as ‘terrible’ and what often makes it ‘terrible’ - is not the intrusive thought - but the fear and negative feelings we attach to it. Now I am able to have intrusive thoughts through out the day - and they don’t give me bad feelings or anxiety bc I know they are just thoughts! Also everyone, even those without OCD, has intrusive thoughts. But the destructive and terrible emotion we attach to it is what makes the experience so terrifying! It is quite comforting to realize this!

It’s been a few months since I’ve been on here and I’m happy to say it’s because I am pretty much pure o, ocd free! This app really did help so much! I want to share the things that helped me get a grip on ocd. I don’t want to use the words “recover or control” because ocd is a part of our brains but it doesn’t mean it has to be a distressing part. I had my first ocd flare up in Nov and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was crying and panicking almost every night for weeks, looking back I can’t believe I made it through the things I needed to do in life because I was a mess. But now I look at things like atleast I know what it is and how to deal with it when it comes. So here are my tips. 1. Reading about intrusive thoughts and pure o online and in books. I consumed as much knowledge about ocd as I could. 2. Starting erp therapy on my own and with a therapist. Though I do have a therapist to guide me 100% of erp is the work I put in. I would try all the recommendations of erp from accepting the thought, to making myself have the thoughts as practice, resisting compulsions, changing the way I reacted and thought about an intrusive thought, now this isn’t easy... but I did it all the time even when I felt the panic feeling and even when the ocd was strong, even when I didn’t believe it. I faked it until I made it 3. Practice is helpful, it took days of hard work especially in the first few months but that’s what I did, I considered every day, every intrusive thought as practice 4. Once I stopped the compulsions, (luckily mine weren’t very strong and I cut them off quick) I began thinking the thoughts that bothered me, and slowly added more disturbing content into my life (my ocd was harm ocd mainly) 5. I told myself that “yes that bad thought is real” and didn’t try to comfort my intrusive thought or push it away, if ocd said I was crazy and going to be locked in a facility then I agreed, I would say it in my head and sometimes out loud “yup your right ocd I’m crazy” 6. After acceptance and exposure I began working on being kinder to myself, I didn’t think that this step was crucial but it is.... ocd wants us to suffer and in a way it’s like by giving it power I wanted to suffer too, I told myself that ocd is a liar and I don’t want to suffer, it’s ok that I have ocd I accept it but now I must be gentle with myself 7. Learning to always default to these things when an intrusive thought happens, so much so that my brain does it naturally now ...a) hi ocd that’s cool but I’d rather not think about that and I continue doing what I’m doing, this is hard in the beginning but gets easier b) sure ocd I am definitely crazy but again I think I’d rather keep watching this show c) I am okay with the possibility of that happening but now is not the time for me to figure that out d) you are a liar and separate from me but thanks for the interesting thought ...8. Remembering these things: ocd is a liar, a thought isn’t sumthing u control but what u do with it is, if you don’t want to do something you won’t because of your morals and free will, this concept took me awhile to grasp but repetition is key. Almost everyone get intrusive thoughts so you aren’t unique or alone. I’ve learned through the ups and downs of erp how to combat my intrusive thoughts, how to be kinder to myself and how to change the way I think in order to live a better life. I still get an intrusive thought occasionally when I’m sticky but the way I think about the thought is so automatic now and so relaxed because of the work I’ve put in! If you are working towards erp don’t stop, keep going! I feel you, I know it’s hard and exhausting... 11 months ago I thought I was going crazy I was in the worst place of my life flash to today and it’s like I never even had ocd! You can do this I promise xx

My definition of recovery is not having these thoughts because I never had them before. The intrusive thoughts I’ve had before ocd where not towards harming my family. So if this is how it’s going to be with harm thoughts every day then I guess I’m not gonna be recovered.