feeling like a bad person?

Every single time me and my boyfriend do anything sexual, I feel really really guilty about it after. We’ve never had sex before but have done other things and I don’t feel guilty about it in the moment, but afterwards I feel guilty. I don’t necessarily regret doing it but I just feel horrible as a human. He does not push himself on me in anyway and I know it’s all a me thing. He is very cautious in making sure I’m comfortable and feel okay, but I don’t start feeling guilty until afterwards. I feel like this always relates back to my faith, which has recently fallen off. I feel like I can’t talk to anyone about this because I always get told the benefits of waiting for marriage. And honestly I do understand that, but I don’t know that I want to wait. I feel like people keep shoving “waiting for marriage” down my throat and it draws me so much further from Christianity and makes things so much harder to feel close to God again. I just feel so lonely in feeling these things and scared I’m going to hell if I keep doing stuff with my boyfriend, but I genuinely don’t know what I believe in anymore and it’s draining me that my values are changing. I know it’s probably healthy and natural for values to change as you grow up, but I feel like there’s a stereotype of Christianity I have to adhere to and it makes me so anxious and scared I’m going to hell if I don’t get everything perfect. My relationship with Christ isn’t something that I involve others in because of how personal it is to me. But I just feel shamed upon by every other Christian and it makes me scared for myself and sad for the way society is making it such a black and white view of this religion.

I slept with someone before I met the love of my life .. I slept with this guy and then the next day I met the guy I’m seeing now at a restaurant.. we hit it off from there and been together ever since .. I’ve had major ocd about confessing that I had a one night stand before him .. but I fed so hard into the ocd that I kept saying well what if I did more bad things not only before .. BUT AFTER I MET HIM.. So I’m comming here for some reassurance … my question to yall is .. if I did something wrong RIGHT AFTER I met my boyfriend , wouldn’t I have been stressing about that rather than what happend BEFORE ? Or maybe I just forgot ?? HELP

Is not really an ocd post.So some weeks ago I started to date a guy who is going to college with me.We met recently and I hold his hand.After..he started to touch me...is a way that I was not really uncomfy(is not something serious).And it bothered me 2 times, but idk if it was intentional or not.I was never in a relationship..We started talking 4 months ago and he told me we can be togheter and get to know eachother over time..I accepted..But now idk if it was a good decision..I mean..when he was actling like that before I was fine with it..now I am not really.When he kisses me I feel weird..maybe even grossed out.I dont understand myself..but the idea is that I told hom before that he can be more affectionate with me.And now I am honestly a bit scared of how he will react if I break up with him.I feel anxious.And when we got togheter I felt like that and I told a friend and she told me is normal because is my first time..What do you think? (Plus...I also like women and idk if I am bi or a lesbian)