- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Go see a therapist...I literally just got done with mine..she tells me the straight up truth no matter what... She told her eyes and laughs at my gay intrusive thoughts all the times and attributes it to a lot of factors 1) my ex girlfriend was gay before me 2) a gay guy hit on me 3) extensive porn watching And she just says..stop googling and be yourself... Between all the compulsions I’ve done..can’t be denial lol. No mind is that strong You understand you. Don’t do the forums
- Date posted
- 6y
@b13 There are days where I also spent a lot of time on this app but sometimes I just need to know that I‘m not alone with this... I think you shouldn‘t be so hard on yourself for using this app so often because it‘s better using this app than spending time on forums and google all possible things
- Date posted
- 6y
They like to say that because it’s not in the DSM-5, and they want as many people to be like them as much as possible. But here’s the thing, HOCD is not a separate diagnosis from OCD so saying it’s not a real thing is like saying broccoli isn’t a food because it’s not listed in the category of foods in the USDA. With OCD, you can pretty much obsess about ANYTHING. And with the second point, they want more people to be like them. Which isn’t a bad thing, but the way they go about it is extremely vile. They reject scientific literature and go for Freudian theories that are extremely outdated. They like to say anyone who has HOCD is just questioning or in denial when they have done absolutely zilch research on the topic of OCD and HOCD. Let me clarify, not all gay or bi people are like this, but the ones you find on Empty Closets, and other forums are about as credible as dung.
- Date posted
- 6y
I just hope in near future we will laugh at the thoughts we have now, and I spend my life with my girlfriend without guilt and these thoughts
- Date posted
- 6y
I watched Chrissy Hodges yesterday and in her video she said something really important: People who disagree with HOCD or believe that it’s nothing but a “coverup” didn’t take the time to actually educate themselves about the matter. We can educate them as much as we want but if they still don’t budge, leave them be. And btw, “HOCD” is the slang term for describing this particular theme (like ROCD, POCD, etc.)
- Date posted
- 6y
Suffering from HOCD and actually being homosexual are two very different things. The ppl on those forums probably don’t understand at all. I’d try to find a forum for ppl who suffer from HOCD. There they will understand. Here is a good place. We understand ❤️
- Date posted
- 6y
Yeah if it was easy, it wouldn't be ocd. Its okay let the stress and the anxiety pass.
- Date posted
- 6y
There is a forum called supportgroups that has a HOCD discussion. I used to use it a lot before I chose to use this instead because it’s more active here. Be careful though because I became addicted, checking the website multiple times every hour for either a new post or a comment under my post.
- Date posted
- 6y
@shiv00 I hope that for all of us! I will pray and hope for all of us
- Date posted
- 6y
@b13 yes, I know that forum, I was also addicted to this forum and I like this app better because I don‘t know why but it isn’t such addictive
- Date posted
- 6y
@MentalHelp Really? I disagree, I think I check this app an unhealthily amount of times too to be honest
- Date posted
- 6y
Guys thank you all so much! I try so hard to avoid such forums, but you know sometimes with HOCD its just very hard.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
trigger warning!!!!!! I’m really scared right now. I’ve been reading Elle Warren’s articles about her experience with HOCD/SO-OCD, and it feels so similar to mine. She went through the same fears of being a lesbian, felt distressed by her attraction to women, and spent hours ruminating, Googling, and analyzing her feelings. She even experienced groinal responses and revisited old memories, just like I do. Eventually, she had a moment of realization in college when she flirted with a girl, and everything clicked. She now identifies as a lesbian. I’m terrified that the same thing will happen to me. I thought the OCD fears were supposed to never be true and that HOCD thoughts are usually just compulsions that don’t end up being real. But reading her story, it’s like I’m seeing my own experience mirrored. What if it clicks for me, just like it did for her? What if I realize that I am a lesbian? Elle’s story makes me so scared. I thought my feelings of attraction to women were just OCD-driven, and now I’m questioning everything. I thought I was straight, but now, reading her journey, I’m wondering: could my OCD fears actually be real? Elle’s experience was very similar to mine: • She got distressed when she thought she might like women, not relieved. • She spent a lot of time ruminating, Googling, analyzing, and comparing. • Her attraction to women only became intense when her OCD flared up. • She said things like, “I feel peace when I believe I’m straight.” • She had already been diagnosed with OCD and had a history of this pattern. After years of fear and distress, Elle had a moment of calm and realized that it was true. I’m scared that this could happen to me too. Will I have a similar moment of acceptance, where everything clicks and I realize I’m gay? Or will I come to accept that this is all OCD, and that I’m straight, with the possibility that I’m not? I also keep thinking back to when my OCD lessened the first time. Did I go back to men because I wasn’t actually attracted to women, or was it just because the grip of the OCD had loosened? Elle also talked about the shame associated with non-heterosexuality. She mentioned that, like many of us, she had internalized stigma around being gay, and that it made her fear the possibility of being non-heterosexual. I can relate to this so much—growing up, I never saw it as an option to be anything other than straight, and now it’s hard to shake that fear and shame. Elle mentioned that she found reassurance in seeing other people with HOCD who worried that their fears would come true, but eventually realized they were just OCD thoughts. That idea is comforting, but also a little scary, because what if that moment of realization happens for me too? What if I finally accept that I am a lesbian? Or, what if I’m just struggling with OCD and eventually realize I’m straight? I just don’t know. The scariest part is that, just like Elle, I feel like I don’t have any obvious signs. She had no idea she was a lesbian until one day, everything clicked. She was 21, just like me when my OCD fears really flared up, and she had a breakthrough moment in Denver when she made friends with lesbians. That hasn’t happened for me yet, and it’s terrifying to think that it could happen in the future. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I’m really scared about where this will lead.
- Date posted
- 19w
I don’t know what to do with this bs anymore. I’m crying again and again and again and again. I cannot describe how painful this is. I’ve recovered from every single OCD subtype expect this one. HOCD is so scary and it’s so incredibly scary how it feels so real. The issue with this subtype is how intertwined it is with feelings and sensations. I hate how it keeps latching onto the past and uses the past as proof. I don’t want it to be the truth. I don’t want to accept any possibility.
- Date posted
- 18w
I’ve been struggling with HOCD for years, and it started with an intrusive thought about being gay when I was younger. It came up at age 12 and ever since, I’ve been trapped in a cycle of doubt and anxiety. I obsess over whether or not I’m secretly gay, even though I don’t feel that way at all. What makes it worse is the fear that I might have internalized homophobia, and that’s why I’m having these obsessive thoughts. I worry that my anxiety is a sign that I’m repressing something or rejecting part of myself. It feels like my mind keeps repeating the same question—am I gay?—and no matter how much reassurance I get, the fear doesn’t go away. I used to pray for my family members, fearing that if I didn’t, something bad would happen to them, and now it feels like I have to control these thoughts, or something will go wrong. For a while, it was quieter, but a week ago, the thoughts spiraled up again, and now the anxiety feels overwhelming again. It’s exhausting, and I don’t know how to break free from this constant loop of doubt. Has anyone dealt with the fear of internalized homophobia alongside HOCD? How do you manage the anxiety that comes with it?
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