I have violent intrusive thoughts of killing my mom or killing people or harming my pets. I’ve been dealing with this for 10 years now, but it keeps getting worse. I keep taking medication but it’s not working.
We have talked before. Yes I have this. You probably need a therapist instead of meds. You need to change your way of thinking. Yes it is easier said than done.
@JamesMY Yes, I’m trying to be positive but my intrusive thought just keeps on coming in. I get scared and I have a panic attack. I cannot afford a therapist who specialize in OCD I want to, but I cannot afford it because of my other bills.
@Edwin P - I understand this, I do. I can't find an OCD therapist either.
@JamesMY How long have you been dealing with this type of OCD?
@Edwin P - I've had this for 28 years. Not continuously. It came and went in intensity. Had it bad in 1995, 1999, 2005, 2006, 2010 and for the past year.
@JamesMY you have been having this since I was even born I was born 2001 and had my first episode OCD when I was 11
@Edwin P - Yes, but you were just 11 when yours manifested. I was 19. I have been living with it longer, but you will beat me in that department. It's a living hell.
@JamesMY It is like living in hell I would not wish this to my worst enemy
@JamesMY It brings on so much anxiety, so many doubts, etc.
@Edwin P - It changes everything you thought was true. I used to find refuge in sleeping, but now I have trouble with that
@JamesMY What do you mean about you thoughts were true
@Edwin P - What I am saying harm ocd makes you doubt everything about your life.
@JamesMY That’s definitely true I experience this every day
@JamesMY We should be friends I need a friend
@Edwin P - Are you on any social media?
@JamesMY Yes
@JamesMY Do you have Instagram so I can follow you? My name is Edwin Perez on my Instagram
@Edwin P - I don't have it but I'll create an account and find you
@JamesMY What type of social media do you have?
@Edwin P - Facebook
@JamesMY I could give you my phone number and I sent you the link over that
@JamesMY I do have Facebook
@Edwin P - Ok sure
@Edwin P - Ok
I too have struggled with this type of OCD. I have had these thoughts about my girlfriend, mom, cat, everything that I hold dear and love. The thoughts really only manifest about the thing you love. At least for me. Because that is what would give you anxiety is the thought of hurting a loved one. You begin to think you might be “psycho” and you feel these thoughts are so real and that you may break at anytime and act on these thoughts. The fact you have had this for 10 years, and you have never acted on these thoughts, is proof enough that you never ever will. No matter how much you worry you may. You never will. Another fact is you worry about having these thoughts because you are worried you may. People that do that type of thing, do not worry that they will. Killers try and justify their actions and have no moral compass. You do, because you worry. Another fact, over 85% of the population has intrusive thoughts like the ones you have. But since you have ocd, the thoughts will not leave your head and give you anxiety. Same for me. For most people, the thought goes through one ear and out the other. “Thoughts of the void” would be an example. Us with OCD have a heightened awareness of thought. So when these thought happen they will not leave. It’s almost like we have to figure it out first or figure out why we have these thoughts. In my experience that is a super exhausting process. I have missed a good portion of my life just worrying all the time. I have been fortunate enough to pay for an ocd therapist. It has help significantly. We do a lot of exposure therapy, which is pretty tough, but gives you a greater understanding of why these thoughts happen. Once you have that understanding you are on the road to recovery. But it’s easier said than done. I have also been prescribed an SSRI. Zoloft to be specific. Zoloft helps regulate my mood which also effects the frequency of those kind of thoughts. My therapist calls the thoughts “pink elephant” thoughts. Because when I mention a pink elephant, what do you think of? A pink elephant. OCD is no different. I don’t know if any of that helps, but the fact that I am getting better from this is proof enough that it is truly possible for anyone. YouTube is a great source for information for our condition. Type in “Harm OCD.” There’s plenty of people who explain it well to help you get thst understanding you need. Good luck friend!! OCD fuckin sucks, but it’s not the end. It can be conquered :)
That’s game OCD in a nutshell as others have told you in past posts. You seeking reassurance is not going to help you get better. I suggest looking into Nathan Peterson’s OCD course which has a fee but it’s not as expensive as therapy.
@Nica That’s Harm OCD*
i am convinced im a psycho killer. everytime im around my mom or sister i get these intense thoughts of stabbing or hurting them. when they’re not around its not as intense but its still there. its literally on my mind 24/7. im so tense 24/7. were currently looking for a puppy for the family and when me and my sister were playing with them today the thought was still there. nothing distracts me from it. video games and EVERYTHING else doesn’t work. im starting to feel like i WANT to do these things. i was never like this until i had a marijuana induced panic attack in january. i feel like something happened to my brain and its not just ocd anymore. i dont even know if im faking it. i have suffered from relationship ocd, pedophile ocd, and health ocd. i got over those relatively quickly. this new theme came out of nowhere after a panic attack on a plane coming home from a horror convention in february. i dont see a way out of this one. its been months. i try to let them sit and i get a panic attack. all i do everyday is cry. i feel like my life is over. i talk to a therapist and i have tried two medications that didnf work work. i dont know how to live like this. im afraid im gonna lose my relationship and im afraid im gonna lose my whole life ahead of me. im just 22. i just want the old me back.
i haven’t been diagnosed with ocd but I have anxiety about harming other people/family members and it’s like urges and im scared I actually want to do it? I don’t think I’ve ever been violent as a kid (im 21 now) and the intrusive thoughts don’t go away so im just stuck all day everyday for the past few weeks just thinking and being scared about it and im having all these weird emotions like being irritated and angry I don’t want to hurt people I don’t think idk why my mind is making me think I do I’ve had intrusive thoughts before that I could brush away sure it took like a day or two but this one is different it doesn’t go away and leaves me with the worst fear imaginable and nothing I look up that should be giving me relief is giving me relief + I feel like im not in control of my body and that im just gonna lose it and act on these thoughts it’s just all on a loop and im not sure how im supposed to live the rest of my life when im in constant fear of my self
I dont know whats going on. I dont know if its OCD anymore. I know it was in the beginning. Ive been through a lot of trauma and had one little scary thought of killing my sister 4 months ago that has blossomed into this giant idea of me being a serial killer and wanting to hurt everyone (I never had any social issues growing up but I have had some trauma). Recently I’ve been having urges to just give in. And my mental images have been horrible and I can’t stop checking if I like them or not. I think I’ve convinced myself I have. This morning I woke up a shaking mess with an urge to unalive my family and when my mom left for work I was alone with my sister and couldnt stop vomiting uncontrollably. I dont know if i’m upset because I cant hurt anyone and I want to, or if I’m scared and just want my old life back. I was an avid horror and gore lover and now I’m convinced I want to do the things I’ve seen in the movies. Someone please help. I’m ready to check into the psych ward.
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