I have violent intrusive thoughts of killing my mom or killing people or harming my pets. I’ve been dealing with this for 10 years now, but it keeps getting worse. I keep taking medication but it’s not working.
We have talked before. Yes I have this. You probably need a therapist instead of meds. You need to change your way of thinking. Yes it is easier said than done.
@JamesMY Yes, I’m trying to be positive but my intrusive thought just keeps on coming in. I get scared and I have a panic attack. I cannot afford a therapist who specialize in OCD I want to, but I cannot afford it because of my other bills.
@Edwin P - I understand this, I do. I can't find an OCD therapist either.
@JamesMY How long have you been dealing with this type of OCD?
@Edwin P - I've had this for 28 years. Not continuously. It came and went in intensity. Had it bad in 1995, 1999, 2005, 2006, 2010 and for the past year.
@JamesMY you have been having this since I was even born I was born 2001 and had my first episode OCD when I was 11
@Edwin P - Yes, but you were just 11 when yours manifested. I was 19. I have been living with it longer, but you will beat me in that department. It's a living hell.
@JamesMY It is like living in hell I would not wish this to my worst enemy
@JamesMY It brings on so much anxiety, so many doubts, etc.
@Edwin P - It changes everything you thought was true. I used to find refuge in sleeping, but now I have trouble with that
@JamesMY What do you mean about you thoughts were true
@Edwin P - What I am saying harm ocd makes you doubt everything about your life.
@JamesMY That’s definitely true I experience this every day
@JamesMY We should be friends I need a friend
@Edwin P - Are you on any social media?
@JamesMY Yes
@JamesMY Do you have Instagram so I can follow you? My name is Edwin Perez on my Instagram
@Edwin P - I don't have it but I'll create an account and find you
@JamesMY What type of social media do you have?
@Edwin P - Facebook
@JamesMY I could give you my phone number and I sent you the link over that
@JamesMY I do have Facebook
@Edwin P - Ok sure
@Edwin P - Ok
I too have struggled with this type of OCD. I have had these thoughts about my girlfriend, mom, cat, everything that I hold dear and love. The thoughts really only manifest about the thing you love. At least for me. Because that is what would give you anxiety is the thought of hurting a loved one. You begin to think you might be “psycho” and you feel these thoughts are so real and that you may break at anytime and act on these thoughts. The fact you have had this for 10 years, and you have never acted on these thoughts, is proof enough that you never ever will. No matter how much you worry you may. You never will. Another fact is you worry about having these thoughts because you are worried you may. People that do that type of thing, do not worry that they will. Killers try and justify their actions and have no moral compass. You do, because you worry. Another fact, over 85% of the population has intrusive thoughts like the ones you have. But since you have ocd, the thoughts will not leave your head and give you anxiety. Same for me. For most people, the thought goes through one ear and out the other. “Thoughts of the void” would be an example. Us with OCD have a heightened awareness of thought. So when these thought happen they will not leave. It’s almost like we have to figure it out first or figure out why we have these thoughts. In my experience that is a super exhausting process. I have missed a good portion of my life just worrying all the time. I have been fortunate enough to pay for an ocd therapist. It has help significantly. We do a lot of exposure therapy, which is pretty tough, but gives you a greater understanding of why these thoughts happen. Once you have that understanding you are on the road to recovery. But it’s easier said than done. I have also been prescribed an SSRI. Zoloft to be specific. Zoloft helps regulate my mood which also effects the frequency of those kind of thoughts. My therapist calls the thoughts “pink elephant” thoughts. Because when I mention a pink elephant, what do you think of? A pink elephant. OCD is no different. I don’t know if any of that helps, but the fact that I am getting better from this is proof enough that it is truly possible for anyone. YouTube is a great source for information for our condition. Type in “Harm OCD.” There’s plenty of people who explain it well to help you get thst understanding you need. Good luck friend!! OCD fuckin sucks, but it’s not the end. It can be conquered :)
That’s game OCD in a nutshell as others have told you in past posts. You seeking reassurance is not going to help you get better. I suggest looking into Nathan Peterson’s OCD course which has a fee but it’s not as expensive as therapy.
@Nica That’s Harm OCD*
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