- Username
- star1232
- Date posted
- 1y ago
Mine started in 8th grade when I learned what being gay was and remembered weird things I did in my childhood. Panic attacks for years and even “came out” to my family cause I didn’t understand what was going on 🤷🏼♀️
@Roses2021 What were those weird things ?
@star1232 Like innocent childhood experimentation, seeing naked bodies for the first time and being like woahhhh lol
@Roses2021 You can send your what’s app to talk
@Roses2021 What kind of porn u have watched ?
Mine started when I was in high school and I was sitting next to my best friend at the time and I had the thought “you should kiss her” and it freaked me out.
Well i has SO OCD when i was like 11 y/o, it started with a dteam of me and my friend kissing, after that i had like 1 year with it, quarantine started and i got better, i lived normally and then it turned into me liking my mom, recovered from that one, got with my boyfriend, 1 year with him now, SO OCD came back after remembering what happened when i was 11 y/o and started with they fear of thinking i liked her again (it then changed and turned into they fear and feeling of me liking other girls i saw), now it's justo they feeling (of fear ig) that i like woman ;)
I was 25, with no history/thoughts/reasons to think about wether I was straight or not. Had a bad bout of ROCD, with the thought “you feel nothing/not enough for her”. Instantly lost libido and everything. After months of obsessively figuring out why, the thought “you must be gay” jumped in. That was nearly 8 years ago. Still not recovered. So convincing the feelings and thoughts. But how does one get to 25, know who they are, then out of the blue become obsessed? Makes zero sense.
Okay, so I was exposed to porn at 9. My older cousin came over to the house and asked if I could keep a secret and stuff and then he showed me porn. I got addicted to it ngl. I would watch it whenever I could and would always think about it when I wasn’t home. Because of this, I started reading mangas on this one website and I was still in elementary school when I started reading these I think, either that or middle school. Anyways, there was this one about these kids who did it and I was like oh I’m the same age as them and all that you know so I didn’t think much of it. I would still read it up to when I was in high school but I wouldn’t like read it often, I would just read it because I was familiar with it and it felt like I was still their age for some reason, like I didn’t see them as kids you know, it felt like they were my age. Oh my god, that makes it sound even worse. When my POCD started, I stopped reading that story because I was it terrified me so a little before I turned 18. I keep going back and forth on whether or not I’m actually a pedophile or not. I don’t know if it’s because I was exposed to that stuff so early and my cousin would constantly talk about sex when he was with me. I thought it was so normal to be reading and looking at that stuff. I didn’t realize. I’m scared that my nephews are going to be exposed to that so early like I was. My POCD mostly targets my nephews and now I’m scared that I’ll do the same thing to them and show them that stuff (I never will) or that I genuinely do like that stuff. I feel like throwing up while writing this. I just don’t want to be one. I’m sorry if this triggers you or if this seems like I’m seeking reassurance and maybe I am. I genuinely don’t know right now. I think I just needed to get this off my chest because I’ve been worrying about it for awhile.
Does anyone with so ocd get scared or feel like they r just going to suddenly realise they r gay. Like all of a sudden you’ll be like omg I’m gay and then I get scared like ong it’s happening to me Can any relate to this
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