Obsession with death

I’m going through the same thing. How can I accept losing my core people to death and still be ok surviving in a world that they aren’t psychologically present in? It’s not a world I want to live in. From what I’ve learned and try to practice in the short time I’ve been receiving treatment from nocd it’s not about being ok when they die. It’s basically trying to teach yourself that you can’t stop it from happening, you have no control over it and start enjoying the time you do have with them while they are in this world instead of mourning a loss of the person standing right next to you. This is really hard for me to deal with especially when thinking about losing my mom, dad, sister, husband, dog and best friend because I don’t know that I will ever be ok with losing one of them but at the same time I also don’t want it to derail me if it does happen I know that my core people wouldn’t want that for me and I don’t want it for myself. But yes it is so damn hard I can empathize 💯

I am right there with you. I’ve found myself asking “What is the point of any of this?” I just don’t understand and I too sometimes feel like I’ll never feel normal or happy again. Just know you’re not alone. 💖

been going through the exact same thing for over a week now, to the point where it’s affecting my appetite and how i act when i’m at work. one thing that’s been sorta helping me is watching videos about people who have had near-death experiences.

I have a kind of similar theme, but instead I think of death specifically in the context of some taking another person's life I'm a Christian as well and growing up the commandment "Thou shalt not kill" always seemed silly with how obvious it is. It always seemed very black and white: killing someone (if not done in self defense or in war) = evil, plain and simple. Weirdly enough, it was when I was watching The Walking Dead that I realized there's a lot of nuance behind people's actions and how your choices become limited when you have to assume the people you're interacting with are dangerous or risk being harmed Now I think a lot about gangs and organized crime and wonder if there are any criminals who have committed murder who wouldn't necessarily be condemned for it. It makes e question a lot of what I thought I believed. It's made me kind of adopt the position that as long as you understand your beliefs in general terms, maybe the specifics don't NEED to be known

Keep working on accepting that uncertainty. We really don’t know what happens and never will. You got this !!!

i’m going through an extremely similar thing. it’s very hard to deal with.