It's always mention that OCD's main focus it's the doubt and the "what if" questions, but to be quite honest, my mind barely ever asked any question, most of my thoughs/feelings are like afirmations "you are into dudes" "you are in denial" and the feeling that those statements are true, with or withouth anxiety, that's how mine usually goes
mine are like that too. sometimes i catch myself saying “what if” but most times it’s “you want to do this” “you are into this” and it worries me. but it’s still OCD. you’re not alone!
Mine are “I want to” or “I am”. Still can be ocd!!
hey there, i totally get how tough it can be when your mind is bombarding you with those intrusive thoughts that feel like affirmations. even though my obsessions from pure o are different, i know what it's like to have your brain throw stuff at you that just doesn't line up with how you see yourself. just remember you're not alone in this, and i'm here to listen whenever you need to vent or talk it out. ✨ i heard about this free ai ocd therapy tool called "unstuck" from my therapist, and it might be a good fit for your situation. since your thoughts come in strong affirmations, "unstuck" could help you work through them by guiding you like an ocd therapist would. you just type in what's bothering you, and it'll help you step-by-step to break free from the grip of ocd. i'm not into promoting apps either, but this one's been a real game-changer for me, and i genuinely think it could offer you some relief too. if you're curious, check it out at www.AIOCDtool.com, and i'm here for any questions you've got. not pushing, just sharing something that's helped me out. hope it can do the same for you. 🌟
Does that apply to feelings as well? Like could my brain through a feeling that doesnt line up on how I percieve myself?
I get thoughts that start with ‘what if’ and also in second person like ‘you are gay, you are in denial’ and I also get first person thoughts such as ‘I’m gay, I need to come out etc’. The first person thoughts hurt me the most, but at the beginning they were ‘what if’ thoughts, so I think OCD has rephrased them to cause me more pain and make me think it’s real. OCD is clever, and I believe changing language and the way the thoughts/sentences are phrased to cause more anxiety is plausible. I think it’s common to think OCD is only ‘what if’ thoughts, but that’s not true, sometimes it can just be images etc.
Why do I feel doubtful like if I get intrusive thoughts it bothers me but when I say like my thoughts don’t defy me and I know I’m straight I get like a weird panic attack and feel doubtful even writing this makes me feel doubtful but I know what I am and I know what I want and know who I want to be with now I feel doubtful but I don’t like this feeling it makes me sad can anyone relate ???
I hate how my mind is making me doubt of my intentions when i clearly know that I don’t have any desires to act on my thoughts. It makes my intentions feel so uncertain, and sometimes it would even make me feel like if I wanted to act on my thoughts when I actually don’t, because I wouldn’t be doubting if I did. So since I feel my intentions so uncertain I need to come to an answer, and sometimes it is so damn hard to get that answer, which makes me anxious and disturbed. It would also make me think of my past like, how were you okay without having these thoughts? Or makes me think of my future like, will you be okay without these thoughts? So it would make me think that these thoughts are really desires and I won’t be okay unless I act on them. As horrible as it sounds. And I don’t know if someone gets this too but, it would also make me doubt my feelings. When my family tells me cute things like “I love you” and stuff, I would feel so bad, because my thoughts are towards them. So I would say “ily too” but I feel like an hypocrite saying it, or like I don’t mean it at all, so it makes me doubt if I really love them or not. This is all so overwhelming, and I have gone through so many disturbing and crazy thoughts, feelings and situations, that I don’t know if this might be OCD.
How detailed can thoughts be? Can it make you question if it even is OCD or just denial? I have talked to friends and therapist in the past and they have said based on everything you've told me you aren't what you think you are. And it felt like a weight had been lifted. But doubt creeps up saying "you are a pedophile, you are just in denial!" And that feeling comes in my gut followed by intense anxiety. I've heard OCD can make you question who you are as a person and I think that's what is happening now. I'll get a thought like "even if you are one, its not that bad" the I think but I don't feel like one and I've talked about this with mental health professionals in the past and they have agreed based on everything I've told them, then my mind claps back with but what if you are? It is a back and forth I get so exhausted having. I know I have to be ok with never knowing but it is hard to not want an answer because of the fear you may become your thoughts one day.
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