Distressed

Hi everyone, asking for prayers, advice, anything…My mom died very suddenly last night. I live in a different state than her and was not able to be there with her. I know that in this case, finding an OCD therapist is crucial especially in this time of crisis but i have to fly out tomorrow to go be with my family and want to focus on one thing at a time. I struggle mainly with pocd and can already feel the warning signs of it flaring up, I’m sure it’s triggered by all the stress I’m feeling but I’m still so extremely confused as to why I’m struggling with this theme during this time, it feels completely unrelated. I’m trying not to give to much importance to the thoughts and feelings im having but it’s hard. I have a lot support from my friends and family and partner so i feel incredibly blessed in that regard. I’m shaken and confused and sad and numb all at the same time. I’ve never lost anyone like this before.

Username: Rachel2727Rachel2727

Date posted: 1y ago

Pocd can show up anytime. I was free from it for awhile and then like last year to a couple months ago it showed up. From what I heard or know is that if one ocd theme isn’t causing issues, your ocd will give you something else that’s causing anxiety or discomfort. An example is if you’ve been dealing with relationship ocd and it’s gotten to the point where it’s not causing you so much stress then your ocd is gonna be like okay here’s something else to cause you stress. (If that makes sense)

Username: Stormyweather2023Stormyweathe...

Date posted: 1y ago

I’m praying for you and your family <3

Username: emilytravelswildemilytravels...

Date posted: 1y ago

I am so very sorry for your loss. My mom passed 6 years ago, so I know how devastating it can feel. OCD can show up at any time. But one thing you also might consider is the grief you’re also experiencing now that can show up in very different ways. It may be more helpful to find a grief/trauma therapist, as that’s what NOCD told me. That I needed to work through the loss of my mom and then tackle the OCD. Sending you lots of love!

Username: Rachel2727Rachel2727

Date posted: 1y ago

I’m sorry for your loss

Username: JenniesOCDBrainJenniesOCDBrain

Date posted: 1y ago

hey there, i'm so sorry to hear about your mom's passing. it's completely natural to feel shaken, confused, and numb during such a tough time. grief can really throw us for a loop, and it's okay to not have all the answers or know why your ocd is acting up with this particular theme right now. i get that it's hard not to get tangled up in the thoughts and feelings, especially when they seem so out of place. while my struggles are more on the pure o side, i totally relate to the overwhelming nature of ocd flares. just know that i'm here to listen if you need to talk about what you're going through. since you're dealing with a lot right now and mentioned the importance of finding support, i wanted to share something that's been a game-changer for me. my therapist told me about this free ai ocd therapy tool called "unstuck" (www.AIOCDtool.com). it might be really helpful for you, especially since you can use it on-the-go while you're with your family. it's designed to guide you through those tough moments, almost like having a therapist in your pocket. you just type in what's bothering you, and it'll help you step-by-step, similar to how erp works, but without the need for an immediate therapist. i'm not into promoting apps usually, but this one's different because it's genuinely helped me out. i'm not trying to push it on you, just thought it could be a resource during this hard time. if you have any questions about it, feel free to ask. i'm here for you. 🌟

Username: CassieOCD

Date posted: 1y ago

I feel like I am losing my mind

I recently found out that I have POCD. I have always been scared that I am attracted to children and have successfully blocked these thoughts out my entire life, occasionally having intrusive thoughts but verifying that I am not but constantly checking while around children. I believe that this stated when I was about 14, I started experiencing some groinal responses accompanied by distress in regard to sexual orientation and then once when I looked at a baby. My OCD of course tells me that this was not a groinal response but true arousal. In response I distanced myself from children, said I would never have children, and slowly just forgot that it occurred. Since then I have worked as a nurse with children and never experienced anything like that so I thought I must be safe. I recently had a miscarriage, and I was in the park and was looking at some children and started experiencing the groinal response. This was so startling and so distressing. I was so confused and my brain kept trying to figure out what was going on because I haven’t felt like that since I was 14. I didn’t want to google it because I thought I would be sent to prison. I was suicidal for a few days, didn’t know what to do, seeked reassurance for the first time in my husband and mum and then finally googled it and found out about POCD and the groinal response. This gave me reassurance and I was fine for a couple of days, but then thoughts about that experience when I was 14 and questions about true arousal vs groinal response stated to come out and freak me out. I live in a small down and am currently seeing a psychologist, hasn’t been for OCD but now I think I know where these thoughts are coming from. My appointment isn’t for another week and I don’t know what to do. I have been trying to use the uncertainty “maybe, maybe not” technique, but find myself constantly feeling anxious and seeking reassurance from the videos throughout the day that I am definitely doing the right things. I am unable to shut my thoughts up constantly saying maybe maybe not in my head and I don’t know what to do. I know I am experiencing some disassociation, I am unable to be present with my partner and I constantly feel like I’m spiralling. This is my second OCD spiral post the miscarriage, the first was of a different context. I just want to be present, in the moment, and accept the thoughts as they come but I am unsure how to do this. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, I am supposed to be going on holidays starting tomorrow and I don’t want to bring this with me.

Username: ajr824

Date posted: 1y ago

Working in the operating room

I work in the open heart OR and was called in for an emergency case last night. I talked to the patient, laughed with her, and held her hand while she drifted off to sleep. I couldn’t stop these horrible intrusive thoughts going through my head while she was lying on the operating table. When I came back early this morning, I walked in and she had died. While preparing her body for her family, I had these horrible intrusive thoughts thinking that this was my fault and I could have done something different. Just wanted to share this story. OCD makes you feel crazy, particularly in high pressure situations like these. Life goes on though and we can only be thankful for our precious lives.

Username: SeaDu

Date posted: 44w ago

OCD and Grief

My sweet sweet dog passed away today and I’ve noticed my OCD has been through the roof. Actually my husband noticed- he said what I’m doing is OCD related. I have felt the need to remember every moment with her in her last days with extreme clarity. (Which is something my OCD has fixated on) I am fixated on all the ways I messed up in the 10 years I had with her. I guess what I’m asking is- is this normal with fried and having OCD? I feel so lost.

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