- Date posted
- 1y
What if it was never OCD
Is anyone else scared to recover because that could mean that it isn’t OCD? 🙃🙂🙃🙂
Is anyone else scared to recover because that could mean that it isn’t OCD? 🙃🙂🙃🙂
That doesn’t mean you don’t have OCD. You will ALWAYS have any mental illness. When you recover? That means it doesn’t affect your life.
Just because you recovered does not mean you never had OCD, you simply recovered from it or know how to deal with it.
@Iwanttobehappy No I absolutely want to recover, sometimes I just worry when I start to feel better, that maybe all of those thoughts were something other than OCD and maybe I’m just a terrible person and I’m just pretending to have OCD to reassure myself
Wouldn't you want to treat it?
I totally understand! My checking and other easy to notice compulsions are happening way less than a couple of years ago. So now my brain is questioning if it actually is OCD that I have..or maybe it's always been something else. Or I'll be thinking that whatever I'm experiencing maybe shouldn't require therapy anymore. Like..maybe I'm just lonely or something. So then I feel wrong for seeking therapy and like I'm wasting my therapist's time.
And if it's because I'm just lonely..I get scared to recover. If I'm recovered, then I for sure won't need therapy. And that means I won't have a therapist that I see weekly, and that would be even more lonely than I am now! Nonsense brain!
I think this is a very common fear with people with OCD. I think many people don’t do ERP because they are scared therapy will reveal the thoughts are true and that they don’t have OCD and have been in denial the whole time. This is a symptom of OCD. It likes to keep us trapped in a cycle of fear and make us miserable x
Hey all, I’ve been having some ebbs and flows in recovery, but for the most part I’ve really had a lot of improvements in quality of life since starting treatment in 2023. Something that really trips me up is ruminating on my past and looking for “evidence” or “proof” that the things that I’m obsessed with are real and not OCD. I spend quite a lot of time doing this. I wasn’t fully aware I was doing it until recently. Example: that I’m secretly gay and lying to everyone (I’m bi), that I’m a horrible person deep down, that I’ve never actually loved any person including my family, that I have the “wrong” political or religious beliefs. I look for proof in every corner of my past. It makes some sense that I think this way because with my previous therapist, who I saw for 8 years and did not diagnose me with OCD, we would look for evidence and proof that my obsessions are irrational and I learned to deal with them that way. At the time it was a lot of health concern and contamination themes, but I literally learned to ruminate and search for relief. But I just kept getting sicker and sicker until I got diagnosed with OCD. It’s a frustrating compulsion that keeps showing up for me. What if these scary things are true? What if it’s not OCD at all and I’m in denial? Have I lied my way into thinking I have OCD? It’s so hard. Anyway, I’m curious if anyone else has come across this in recovery? Let me know your thoughts and I hope you’re well. ❤️
Therapist put it on the table that I should see a psychiatrist that she recommends. I felt relief because maybe the psychiatrist can tell me what's wrong and the plan going forward but im scared because what if my symptoms vanish or i miraculously get better (i doubt it) then what if i've been making a mountain of a mole hill. Or what if i dont know how to express myself. im obviously not scared of getting better, but i just don't want to seem like im making people scramble to treat me and then it turns out theres nothing wrong. like what if i don't have OCD and im just making all this stuff up in my head. what if i just want something to stress about
i’m terrified to get a diagnosis. What if it’s not actually OCD??? I made a list of reasons why i think so and then i think what if im lying and i actually don’t do this stuff and am just dramatic and i just want to have OCD so then my thoughts are justified?? I have struggled in the past year with Pocd & Rocd and then also some bits of thinking im constantly in danger or being watched? I’m scared.
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