- Date posted
- 1y
What if it was never OCD
Is anyone else scared to recover because that could mean that it isn’t OCD? 🙃🙂🙃🙂
Is anyone else scared to recover because that could mean that it isn’t OCD? 🙃🙂🙃🙂
That doesn’t mean you don’t have OCD. You will ALWAYS have any mental illness. When you recover? That means it doesn’t affect your life.
Just because you recovered does not mean you never had OCD, you simply recovered from it or know how to deal with it.
@Iwanttobehappy No I absolutely want to recover, sometimes I just worry when I start to feel better, that maybe all of those thoughts were something other than OCD and maybe I’m just a terrible person and I’m just pretending to have OCD to reassure myself
Wouldn't you want to treat it?
I totally understand! My checking and other easy to notice compulsions are happening way less than a couple of years ago. So now my brain is questioning if it actually is OCD that I have..or maybe it's always been something else. Or I'll be thinking that whatever I'm experiencing maybe shouldn't require therapy anymore. Like..maybe I'm just lonely or something. So then I feel wrong for seeking therapy and like I'm wasting my therapist's time.
And if it's because I'm just lonely..I get scared to recover. If I'm recovered, then I for sure won't need therapy. And that means I won't have a therapist that I see weekly, and that would be even more lonely than I am now! Nonsense brain!
I think this is a very common fear with people with OCD. I think many people don’t do ERP because they are scared therapy will reveal the thoughts are true and that they don’t have OCD and have been in denial the whole time. This is a symptom of OCD. It likes to keep us trapped in a cycle of fear and make us miserable x
My therapist told me that my ocd is just a symptom of something else.....didn't knew that ocd could be symptom....now I'm scared.
Ok basically I’ve had OCD symptoms since I can remember but now that I’m thinking about it maybe I don’t have OCD what if I believe it so much I have the symptoms I’m not sure and I’m so confused I guess. And I wanna get tested or therapy but I don’t even know if I have it so I’m scared to and I have to remind myself of the time I had a symptom before finding out about it so I can confirm it I don’t know how to explain what I mean I wanna get help but don’t know if I have it
The subject of OCD matters to the sufferer because it feels like confirmation that they are fundamentally unlovable and unwanted—as if even existence itself doesn’t want them. They feel like an error, carrying a deep sense of guilt and shame, as if they were inherently wrong. They suffer from low self-esteem and a deep internalized shame, because long ago, they were fragmented and learned a pattern of fundamental distrust—especially self-distrust. But the real trouble doesn’t come from the content of the most vile or taboo thoughts. It comes from the fact that the sufferer lacks self-love. That’s why, when you begin to walk the road to recovery, you’re taught unconditional self-acceptance—because that’s what all sufferers of OCD have in common: if you aren’t 100% sure, if there isn’t absolute certainty, the doubt will continue to attack you and your core values. It will make you doubt everything—even your own aversion to the thoughts. You have to relearn how to trust yourself—not because you accept that you might become a murderer someday—but because you enter a deep state of acceptance about who you truly are. It’s not about becoming a monster at all. It’s about making peace with what lies at the root of the fear. Making peace with the guilt. With the shame. Making peace with yourself and the person you fear you might be. Because that fear is not rooted in reality. It’s not rooted in any true desire to act. It’s rooted in your identity—specifically, in what might threaten it. That’s what confirms the belief that you are fundamentally wrong. And OCD fuels that belief by using intrusive taboo thoughts to attack your very sense of self. But then I wonder: let’s say, for example, someone fears being or becoming a sexually dangerous person—how could that person practice unconditional self-acceptance? I would never accept myself if I were to harm anyone—the thought alone makes me want to cry. I know it’s not about whether or not someone acts on the thought. It’s about the core fear underneath it. So how do you accept yourself when the thoughts—and the feelings around them—feel so completely unacceptable ?
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