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@Jay222 I understand. I feel guilty whenever I try to enjoy something, because I know I shouldn't feel good when i have those kind of intrusive thoughts. Im so tired... Im taking meds but they still don't seem to work yet

@Jay222 3 months. 40mg of Prozac and 0.5mg of Xanax

@Jay222 Well... They told me Prozac is used to treat depression on a 20mg dose, but OCD may take even 40mg as the lowest dose. My psychiatrists also told me it may take up to 2 months of being in a 40mg dose to start seeing improvements, but I've been on that dose for about a month and a half. Otherwise, if it doesnt work, they will give me a higher dose (probably 60mg). Xanax is not recommended on a long term use to treat OCD but they gave it to me anyway, with the risk of becoming dependent on it. I don't care anymore, as long as some of those two work...

@Jay222 i tried to get CBT or ERP but they told me I wasnt ready for it yet, so I have to wait. It may be because i have been experiencing suicidal thoughts as a side effect of this OCD crisis, but i don't know anymore.

@Jay222 Thanks. I do believe you have OCD though, as your intrusive thoughts seem to be like mine. I have monthly appointments with my psychiatrists, but it's still hard as heck to get through this. Holidays are even worse, as I have to be at home with my family and these horrible thoughts and emotions...