- Date posted
- 1y
Health ocd, Im freaking out
Because is controlling my life
Because is controlling my life
Hey sorry to hear this, I struggled with health ocd for years. Rachelsocdgrotto on instagram has a lot of helpful health anxiety content.
I have a health fear as well. I HATE being sick especially throwing up, so when I throw up, everything I did that day needs to be retraced to make sure it wasn’t anything I did. I ALWAYS wash my hands before I eat, I ALWAYS wash my hands when I get home, I never fall asleep in clothes I wore outside. My bed is my “clean space” and it overwhelms me with fear when there’s bugs or something dirty in my house. What helped me most, was trying to figure out a way to look at the positive things of dirt. Your immune system gets better, that’s something.
Thnx, right now for Me is hard as Im experiencing some physical symptoms like pelvis pain, irregular menstruations, Ibs and also sweating. I have been checked, colonoscopy, ultrasound and gyneacologists, all looked normal. My doc wants Me to do a contrast ct scan and Im very affald of THE radiation and its effects, at THE other side I want to know what is going on with this pain. So in a Big dilemma that gives Me a huge anxiety
Please if someone can reply! I really just need someone to talk to. I don’t even know how to control my OCD. It honestly feels like it’s controlling me. Everyday my mind focuses on every bodily sensation I have and it’s like a broken record player, I have horrible health anxiety and my OCD just makes it worst just thinking about it everyday. It feels like everyone who I explain it to looks at me like I’m stupid/crazy. I use to be much more tame with my OCD, I use to eat things without worry, now I can’t even touch things I use to eat without worrying that I’ll get an allergic reaction (despite eating them BEFORE,,,but my mind tells me otherwise) and omg worrying about heart attacks, pulmonary issues..and I couldn’t even enjoy my own child’s birth because my mind was on high alert thinking I would hemorrhage any second or develop pre-E (complications of postpartum) I was miserable for the first couple of months of my baby’s life and I didn’t know what to do. And now, I’m pregnant with my second (4wks) and all the OCD thoughts and anxiety is coming back at me and I have no one to talk to, I feel lonely. And even if I considered taking a pill, I’d worry about being allergic to it and refusing to take it. I ruin everything for everyone. I remember I ate out one night and I started to think “you’re gonna pass out! You’re gonna pass out! (Without ever passing out before) and I had to leave! I feel like I ruin the mood for everyone when I don’t even try to, and I hate it.
So my OCD got that bad to the point where I’m barely having ocd and my body is stuck in stress, I can’t sleep, my mind is soo loud and my chest hurts and my vains are popping out and I feel like my body is shutting down what do I do ☹️ I don’t even feel like I am here I can’t focus on anything I’m always zoned out
I feel like my life isn't my own anymore. I live by OCD's rules. I can't ever switch it off. I spend most of my day mentally reviewing and constantly checking myself. I have to do things in a certain way or i dont feel safe. All this time that i've lost and for what? Idk how I let thoughts have so much power over my life and yet here I am. Every day. I can't even get away from it in sleep because i have dreams about it and I wake up anxious if i manage to get any sleep at all. I'm so over it all.
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