Just need some advice.

Those who have experience/d sexual ocd whilst in a relationship, how do you or have you handled that? It gets so much for me when it throws sexual thoughts about ANYTHING, it could be children, animals, family, complete strangers, friends, people I’ve had a sexual history with, etc… it’s SO draining. I want to live my life and have gotten better in some ways as in like coping wise, I’m about to start new meds + seeing therapist (not ocd therapist) in January, I have read and am reading books on topic but I find I’m always on discussion forums like reddit etc trying to find answers, I know that doesn’t help long term… but I am just genuinely curious as to how you handle those types of thoughts whilst in a relationship, I genuinely think mine and my partners porn experiences in the past in our relationship has affected me a lot and caused some of this obsession, porn is something we know isn’t good for our relationship and it’s not a desire to do now… it was actually more damaging, even tho at the time I had a different perspective on it sort of… I wish we never did that , but without doing that I suppose I might’ve not come to the realisation of how damaging it actually was/is, if that makes sense. Anyway. Please any advice is welcome. I’m struggling. It hurts.

Lilyandbeans

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

Hi hon, As someone also with a primarily sexual OCD theme, I know just how God-awful it is. You are taking a great, incredibly brave step in seeking therapy. For me, sharing with my partner is what helped the most. It’s so scary to share these thoughts with anyone- trust me, I know. They scare the sense out of us as sufferers so why wouldn’t they scare anyone else? My partner is a great sounding board because he by nature is very logical and calm. I’m not suggesting you tell your partner, that is entirely up to you to decide. I’m just sharing what helped me and hopefully make you feel a little less alone 💜

fordwilliamj...

Date posted: 1y

Hi good morning I'm actually brand new here and And I'm 52 years old. I struggle with a lot of things as well. I haven't been perfect in everyone else's eyes And mainly the eyes of self, but as an elder in this life I have been in the same cameras eyes. And just speak in a little male voice the ego of a man cares les about The womans hurt in the future after the relationship is over because the ego feeds upon itself and just moves on to the next one So my take and your hurt would be for you to realize that you have a man that is completely open minded and will not judge you in past or you have a man that is close minded and holds what you've done in your past against you even when you are together but realize in a relationship that you have to put yourself second most of the time But if you have one minute To marinate on how your past boyfriends have used your porn against you And more than likely this is gonna continue, Then your cycle is gonna be like dishes and laundry it never ends, But if it's monetarily satisfying and you realize your gold mine as Jenna Jamieson did, Then you will see eventually as she did that Sex is sacred and if not treated as such, It will destroy everything in its path. Godlike. On a positive note if anyone ever judges you anyway they're not allowed that unless you allow it it's always gonna continue but if you let it affect you then they have a power over you and and in that you're weak and powerless. Your ability to be alpha is only waiting for you to find the key to unlock it no one else can inspire that only you. You have a superpower but only you to unlock it

SunnyAnon

Date posted: 23w

dealing with OCD flashbacks 18+

i currently am getting over my period and have been having a horrible flashbacks from some real events. it’s a amalgamation of all of the horrible things i did as a child/young teenager. all of it associated with p0rnography + sexual activities i did. i was exposed to sexual activity very young and it lead me down a dark path. i’ve had OCD forever it seems. it’s hard because i can see that i’ve had OCD symptoms since childhood but i constantly doubt wether or not my actions where because of OCD or something i genuinely wanted/was attracted to. i can’t seem to differentiate the two and it’s scaring me. i’m worried i was genuinely into the kind of stuff and it’s constantly flashing in my mind the last two days of things i compulsively did years ago. to be absolutely clear it has been years since i’ve even thought about those taboo things or saw anything of that sort. i’m talking 5 or 6 years give or take. it still feels like yesterday. in recent years i’ve completely pulled away from p0rn and now find it and s3x a lot less appealing. but every so often i get these intense flashbacks on things i did or saw or thought and it puts everything on hold. everything im interested in gets but on the back burner in fear of my intrusive thoughts being thrown into the mix. currently experiencing that now. im mortified of ruining everything i love because of these stupid thoughts. does anyone have any advice or experience with this specifically and have any tips???

Canes12345!

Date posted: 22w

My life with ocd

I’m a good man and I know that. My OCD revolves around relationships. While dating someone a truly enjoy, I find myself needing to compulse everything on my mind or else I feel like I’m being a liar or keeping secrets. I also am pretty confident I suffer from false memory ocd. I don’t like to put a label on things but I’m 99.9% sure I do. My compulsions a lot of times come from things I’m not even sure are real. The more thought I put into them, the more I start to believe they are real. One of the worst compulsions I had in my relationship was I had a thought “what if I find my ex more attractive” and “what if I thought the sex with them was better”. I ended up compulsing these things to my gf. After lots of time to think and get a ahold of myself I was able to remind myself that these things weren’t true and I was just in a downward spiral. There was a 2-3 month period where every time I was relieved of something then I would instantly think of something else. These compulsions have caused insecurity in my gf and I feel like a terrible person. Never meant to hurt her at all and was just trying to find a sense of relief. While I know it is not true, I can’t fix things with words and I feel terrible. I would love to hear from people with tricks and strategies that can help. I love my gf and want to fix things and understand this is not a relationship fixer app but I would like to know what are some ways you are able to deal with these kind of things.

Jpais28

Date posted: 11w

ROCD advice help for supporting partner

I am at a very difficult spot in my relationship. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years, and I have a history of cheating that for years we’ve been trying to work through. To me, it makes a lot of sense that my OCD has attached itself to this and for the last few years I’ve experienced intrusive sexual thoughts of others and relationship ocd. I have been open to him about the content of my thoughts and now, with a proper diagnosis of an anxiety disorder, I am able to reframe them and work through them with ERP so that my brain will *hopefully* get bored and stop sending them. But, things have not been easy. As a result of this and everything in our past, he has become anxious about all the scenarios where I could be having sexualized thoughts about other people. To him, if I am thinking something utterly different than what I am telling him or acting like to him, he can’t fully trust it. And of course, I can imagine how difficult it is to know your life partner is sexualizing others in her brain and to be able find a way to dismiss them as unthreatening, especially when past mistakes say otherwise. Is there anyone that has gone through this with a partner? And other than repeatedly explaining the egodystonic nature of my thoughts and providing reassurance, what are some things you did that helped them? Any advice helps! Thank you

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