Relationships: never been in one

I’ve never been in a relationship, not even held a hand let alone kiss anyone or be in a relationship with them. I’m a female in my 20’s and OCD sees relationships as ⛔️⚠️danger. the older I get the more scared I become and I don’t know if to take the leap of faith and learn along the way or work on the OCD around it first. Any advice or if you can relate please share thank you 💜🧠🙏 Context: ( I like a guy he likes me but he didn’t know do he was ready for a relationship, I didn’t want casual then we spoke again a while later and he said he could see a relationship in the future and I shut it down and explained it was because of my OCD but I still like the guy and I’m worried I’m going to lose this opportunity with him but at the same time I don’t want to rush into it and hurt him because he will be with me + OCD )

Username: SomeocdgirlSomeocdgirl

Date posted: 1y ago

I would say maybe try being a little flirtatious and friendly and see where it goes. Don’t push or set an expectation but if you have feelings, let yourself fall. I hope this helps :)

Username: Koalasinpyjamas Koalasinpyja...

Date posted: 1y ago

@Someocdgirl I have feelings but I don’t want to fall because I don’t know if I’m ready with what OCD is throwing about relationships 😣

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

I hear you. I've never been in a relationship either. If you want to talk, I'll listen to you. I'm a 21 yo man btw Partly, I might not have been in a relationship because of OCD. But it is also partly because I'm shy, I haven't found anyone who seems to be a decent match, I'm unsure if I even want to be in a relationship, and I see existential complications with relationships that take out a lot of the desire to be in one. I also see existential issues with really just about any relationship, and I don't think it's entirely OCD 🤷‍♂️ I also totally understand how you feel about not wanting to rush into things but also being afraid of losing the chance to be with them. I struggle with very similar feelings. If you want to talk more about that we can. Or anything else you want to talk about :)

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

And if I gave any advice (and take it with a grain of salt because I don't know all of what's going on and you might have a different idea of what to do) I might recommend just telling the guy what's going on and how you truly feel. Again, take it with a grain of salt, and do what you think is right

Username: Koalasinpyjamas Koalasinpyja...

Date posted: 1y ago

@Anonymous Thank you it’s nice to know I’m not alone in this.

Username: JenniesOCDBrainJenniesOCDBrain

Date posted: 1y ago

hey there, i can feel the weight of what you're going through, and it's really tough when ocd tries to put roadblocks on something as personal as relationships. 💜 it's super brave of you to open up about this struggle and to be considering your options so thoughtfully. i've been where you are, and what really helped me was this free AI OCD therapy tool called "unstuck" (unstuckmyocd.com/try) that my ocd therapist gave me. it'll be especially helpful for you because it offers personalized step-by-step support when ocd gets tough, just like an OCD therapist – and it can guide you through dealing with those relationship fears. i hate when people promote stuff, but i really think it can help you because it's changed my life. lmk if you have Qs or just want to talk more! <3

Username: Siiri

Date posted: 5y ago

How did you tell your partner about your ocd? I’ve never been in a relationship but I am scared to death just thinking about having to tell a future boyfriend about my ocd. I feel weird and alone and like no one will ever want to be with me. Especially if they find out about my mental illness. I’m 23 now and feel like I will be alone forever.

Username: Sake

Date posted: 4y ago

How to tell the difference between normal relationship doubts and ROCD? Im going on a rant now: I have avoided relationships for the most part over the last 10 years. as soon as I get past the 2nd or 3rd date I feel like if I dont know that they have the potential to be “the one” then I worry constantly about wasting my life and theirs. I had 2 relationships that lasted about 3 months but the whole time, I just wanted to get out even though they were both good guys. In November, I had my first panic attack and soon discovered what I was dealing with (and still managing it) is SO-OCD. Then I learned of ROCD and wondered if that is something I have struggled with since my teens. As soon as I get into a relationship I have these strong urges to break it off for minor stupid things. Things that honestly make no sense. Like a weird freckle or chin (real examples). Not to mention I am afraid of getting intimate because Im super paranoid of getting pregnant... I started talking to a guy during quarantine and it’s slowly turning into more than friends. I really like him and enjoy spending time with him but I am constantly worried. Being aware of ROCD has helped me be mindful of the present but all my old habits are trying to come back full force and I find myself trying to avoid him. Ive read as much as I can find on ROCD and I can check off almost all the obessions and compulsions that are associated with ROCD. But it doesnt affect me the same way SO-OCD did. Like I felt like I couldnt breathe, and I could barely be in public. I wanted to escape so bad all the time. With this ROCD (if thats what it really is) I dont feel that panic, I just feel worried, stuck, and distracted. Not to mention, if I can manage to stay mindful, how on earth do you even tell someone you just started seeing that you have ocd, let alone so-ocd and rocd. It just adds to me wanting to avoid him. Also, how do you go from being dateless and single for 2 years to starting a relationship in the middle of a quarantine while you’re learning that you have OCD.

Username: Anxiousaddie

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

Dating advice with ocd

Hey guys so I have HOCD and real event OCD and false memory OCD and this guy i know is interested in dating me and I want to date him too, but I'm really scared. I don't know if I can date someone ever again honestly 😕 I just feel too guilty and like I have to tell them everything ya know? Especially with real event. What do I do? I just feel like I'll never be able to date someone

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Relationships: never been in one

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