curtkobain :>

Date posted: 1y

help pls 😭

is this existential ocd? so basically i’ve had rlly bad moral ocd for a couple of months, and before that i had horrible health and harm related physical compulsions so bad i couldn’t sleep bc i couldn’t sleep in a certain position or i thought smth bad would happen to me. and i always had bad intrusive thoughts but nothing that haunted me as much as this. So my morals are rlly important to me and i consider myself a good person. But one intrusive thought said “since life is meaningless morals don’t exist they are just a made up concept.” I had severe panic attacks because of this and i felt like a horrible person. I couldn’t sleep and worry was on me constantly. I did mental compulsions like repeating, rumination, and some physical compulsions too. I also am doing a lot of avoidance bc this triggers me sm. I’m kinda worried i’ll start believing this even though logically ik it’s nonsense bc ofc morality exists but omf am i worried. i’m trying to not do any compulsions but pls anyone with advice?

Loranqadri

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

I have harm ocd related to morals and had this thought also about what if morals don’t exist, I suggest you try to not pay it much attention and focus on mindfulness such as listening to rain sounds or a music you love.. I know it’s hard but learn to detach from the outside world and make your awareness flex ❤️

curtkobain :>

Date posted: 1y

@Loranqadri thanks!! 😊 🙏 it’s nice to know somebody else went through something similar since i feel like this intrusive thought is kinda less common

curtkobain :>

Date posted: 1y

@Loranqadri Hi i have a question related to questioning morality, how long did it take for u to heal from those thoughts? I’m worried that this will change me and i’ll become a bad person, i saw stuff of people saying that it changed them forever and they stopped believing in morals and it makes me freak out, since my values are so important to me i don’t want to start believing this.. i feel stuck and i’m gonna start therapy on monday but idk 😭

curtkobain :>

Date posted: 1y

@cynthiav <3 I rlly hope it’s just ocd making me worry more than necessary, doubting what’s important to me but i do t want to become a bad person from this..

Loranqadri

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@Miguel Vazquez First of all don’t look on what other people say they have their own experience and you are different so if you are researching the question stop doing that.. I simply made myself stop worrying if I lost morality or no because in the end with my actions I don’t hurt people, what also helps me is listening to music or rain sounds if I feel overwhelmed, I also read books with subjects not related and do sport.. it took time for me to be able to do all of this so take it one step at a time❤️

curtkobain :>

Date posted: 1y

@Loranqadri Tysmm, i’ll try to do that! I know i should stop fighting the thoughts, but it feels like everyday they come back stronger and more worrying you know? I feel like im doomed to become a bad person.. But thank you, I’ll also stop researching because that’s a huge compulsion of mine at this point 😭

Loranqadri

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@Miguel Vazquez I know how you feel, it took me time not to worry much about them, and with harm ocd with a horrible theme when it first began I blamed myself and acted very unkindly towards myself but at one point I felt that whatever I am bad or good I will take care of myself.. so sometimes I feel overwhelmed but when the thoughts get stronger I try to do something else that takes my focus as I told you, still it’s a fight but we will do it 🙏 don’t be sad you are not alone

curtkobain :>

Date posted: 1y

@Loranqadri I think mine is leaning into harm ocd too, which sucks even more because it makes it feel even more icky and horrific and scary 😭 Thank you 😊

Ebbisen01

Date posted: 1y

I’ve definitely struggled with this as well. Made me panic reaaaal bad. It does get better, just try to not get stuck in the ocd cycle, break free by doing things that make you happy/distracted (though you should try to sit with the discomfort, too, whenever you feel like you’re in the right headspace)❤️

curtkobain :>

Date posted: 1y

@Ebbisen01 Hi thanks for commenting! I have a question tho, how were you able to overcome these thoughts in specific? Other thoughts for me were easier to overcome and just consider intrusive thoughts and not reality (though i still struggled with those too) but these feel so real and worrisome. I get sitting with the thoughts and not acting on compulsions but at times i feel like if i don’t i might start believing the thought. And that makes me nervous bc it goes against what i want for myself and for my life and what is right yk. Idk if that’s normal or what but it gives me a weird feeling of that i’ll never be normal again. I’m sorry if this is annoying btw 😭

Ebbisen01

Date posted: 1y

@cynthiav <3 It sounds like ocd just finding a way to make you question things that are important to you. for me, living life to the fullest and striving for an optimistic lifestyle is one of the things I value the most, guess what my current theme is? - self harm ocd. it always manages to find things that you KNOW deep down are important to you, yet makes you doubt yourself ❤️ practice self-compassion, go for walks daily, eat, drink water and have patience. ALL feelings are temporary!

mandiocd

Date posted: 20w

Existential ocd help please.

m at the point where every night I contemplate going to the ER for my terrible thoughts. For the past 2.5 years I’ve been struggling with extremely bad existential ocd/nihilism. One day I woke up and had a nihilistic thought and since that day I’ve had severe nihilistic and suicidal thoughts. I truly don’t wanna do anything because in the end we die. In the end life is meaningless because we die. I feel almost delusional bc these thoughts feel true. Anything I do my brain goes “why are you doing this? It’s not gonna matter” I’m getting married in June and I don’t feel anything. I don’t wanna do anything. I don’t care to. I have to quit my RN job at the hospital because of this terrible theme. I don’t see a point in anything. Life doesn’t make sense. Death terrifies me. And life feels meaningless. My life is ruined. I hate ocd I hate it.

Existential OCD

ocdonedidily1

Date posted: 17w

Perfectionism OCD and rumination

There’s this one situation that I haven’t stopped thinking about from last night . So basically, I was reading 'The power of Now' which is a book that I love so much and really got me into spirituality. It’s been so helpful for my OCD and rumination but it’s also been pretty triggering for it as of late, so I’ve taken a long break from consistently reading it. The excerpt I read was about abundance and how its not about being bountiful, necessarily in material things but realizing and being grateful for the things that exist in your life now and in doing so, you will open yourself up to more good things. I understood it but I re-read it a lot because I didn't feel confident enough to explain it to someone else. but otherwise I LOVED IT. It made me feel so at peace, I agreed with it, and it gave me hope to start focusing on the good things in my life rather than the bad. So when I went to bed I rehearsed myself explaining it to someone on a podcast and then all these questions started flooding in like “why should I only focus on the good and aren't we supposed to accept the good and bad? Aren’t those the values of Buddha and spirituality” “Ya, we're supposed to accept the good and the bad but why?- so we can feel more good??? And isn't the point of OCD to not label things as good and bad? and why should I focus on the good- so I can feel good? why should I feel good? because I'm worthy of it? why am I worthy of it? because I'm a good person and do good things? well I’ve also done bad things so why shouldn't I consider that. I just don’t understand why I should feel good without it being selfish. And then this went on for like 2 or 3 hours. Like holy shit. I over explain these ideas and concepts that I resonate with to the point where they don't even make sense to me anymore. It becomes very existensial very quick. And I’m not suicidal but these questions make me feel hopeless in society for some reason?? And myself. Like if everything contradicts everything then what’s the point to life? If nothing can be understood or explained in a senseful way, then how do people move forward and make decisions, like AT ALL? There’s never a right or perfect answer and I feel like with any decision I make in regards, I’m doing a compulsion either way. If I don’t answer them, then I’m avoiding it and if I do then I’m checking and seeking reassurance. I’m sorry if this was way too long and over-explained I just need some advice or to know if anyone can relate in any way. Also, I’m sorry if some of those back-to-back questions were triggering.

mandiocd

Date posted: 12w

Please help existential ocd

Existential ocd is deeply affecting me. A lot of people say death is equally as meaningless, I do agree, however, if life is mostly suffering and anxiety to me, then death is not as equally meaningless. It seems logical. I have severe ocd and my life is just suffering, so if life is meaningless, it’s logical for me to not see a reason to keep going. I’m not necessarily depressed. Just incredibly aware of how pointless this all is? There’s no end goal to any of this. It baffles me of how people can care about money and materialistic things, because what’s the point? You’ll die in the end and nothing will matter. ****please please please do not tell me to get into religion I’m begging you****

Existential OCD

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help pls 😭

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