My family doesn’t understand mental health issues.

I feel so lousy right now. A few of my family members aren’t speaking to me and my dad said it was because I didn’t go to any family functions the last few weeks. For one, I’m 39. I’m not 15. But also, I haven’t gone because I’ve been in such a mental health HOLE that I can’t be around groups of people right now. In any capacity. My family doesn’t believe in mental health issues at all, so explaining anything to them would be impossible. I’ve tried. They just think you’re weird and that they’ll catch it from you or something. I’ve reached out to my cousin and aunt twice now separately and apologized for not being able to see them while I’m in town. And neither one of them will respond to me. Makes me feel SO awful and that I should just unalive myself. People are so terrible and I hate feeling like I have no one in the world. 😭 I see people with incredible, supportive family and just can’t understand why I didn’t have that. Sometimes I really hate life. They treat me like a disease 😭

Username: BigGyro09BigGyro09

Date posted: 51w ago

I'm sorry... I'm sorry they treat the topic of mental health like that and put it to the side when you are struggling badly. You weren't feeling well. You weren't doing your best and it took away from you wanting to be around people. You didn't mean any harm and it's definitely not like you didn't want to be around anyone just because. You weren't a disease. You've been helping me so much right now. I hope you feel better.

Username: emilytravelswildemilytravels...

Date posted: 51w ago

@BigGyro09 I’m honestly better off without any of them in my life. It just makes me sad. Family is supposed to be supportive and I’ve never had that. My family has only ever wanted to change me and get me to live my life the way THEY thought I should. Because they “knew best.” I’m so messed up as a result and I’m not sure I’ll ever heal from all the trauma.

Username: BigGyro09BigGyro09

Date posted: 51w ago

@emilytravelswild You're right.. family is supposed to be supportive and there for you. You don't deserve that. I'm sure you have a therapist, right? If so, how long have you been working with them for this? Please don't give up. None of that is your fault. None of it. I think you can heal from those bad influences. I'm sorry that it's so hard.

Username: Wolfram Wolfram

Date posted: 51w ago

My mother, who is a therapist and has ocd too BTW tells me not to bother coming around to see them if I'm going to be down because of the atmosphere I create. Yet, she'll have a go at me if I don't go so how do I win? 😅

Username: emilytravelswildemilytravels...

Date posted: 51w ago

@Wolfram I’m so sorry. You’d think that because she is a therapist she’d have a little more compassion? I’m really sorry.

Username: Wolfram Wolfram

Date posted: 51w ago

@emilytravelswild Yeh, was kind of a shocker that she didn't notice I had ocd for roughly 30 years too. But I've come to understand when she's not at work, she needs to unwind for her own self preservation. Also our ocd triggers each other and that frustrates me a lot

Username: emilytravelswildemilytravels...

Date posted: 51w ago

@Wolfram Ugh, family is so hard! My dad are major triggers for each other as well.

Username: emilytravelswildemilytravels...

Date posted: 51w ago

@emilytravelswild *my dad and I

Username: Wolfram Wolfram

Date posted: 51w ago

@emilytravelswild It's a pain. I'm trying to find something I can do with her as I don't like going around as it always leads to one of us being upset. Been thinking of yoga/ pilates which makes me wanna puke at the thought of it, or learn a language with her

Username: emilytravelswildemilytravels...

Date posted: 51w ago

@Wolfram Don’t be too hard on yoga. It is an incredible practice that combines your mind and body. Also, depending on the type of class you do, I used to do power yoga, and worked out with a guy who was a professional athlete. He said those yoga classes were the best workout he’d ever received.

Username: emilytravelswildemilytravels...

Date posted: 51w ago

@Wolfram That’s great that you’re making an attempt of doing something with her though. Even though it’s hard. Learning a language would also be fun

Username: VGHVGH

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 51w ago

Hey, I just wanted to say you're not alone here. Very few families (people) respond in a helpful way. It's mostly societal (and cultural) in terms of how we handle mental health. I know how hard it is, especially when you're struggling, and trying to recover. I know "self-care" may seem trite, but it's so important. Since others do not understand or know what we need, we can give it to ourselves. You have to do what you need to do for your mental health. It wasn't until I got to the other side, feeling mostly recovered, that I had the strength to truly understand how debilitating OCD was/is. Before, I always sacrificed myself when it came to others and their expectations (I do believe this made my OCD worse). Now, I'm my own advocate, I set boundaries, I've moved on from some friends. Not everyone is going to understand and support you like they should. However, don't allow yourself to spend too much time living in their ignorance. You are important, your mental health is important. I don't hide my OCD diagnosis, nor do I dismiss it. I claim it, it is a part of my life, just as a physical ailment might be. Hang in there, share your story if you feel like it. I mostly always share mine in the hope that, down the road, society changes a bit.

Username: shirekat

Date posted: 5y ago

I am a full recluse. I panic when I try to step outside. When people ask my parents about me, they tell them that I just like staying at home. I hate that. People must believe that I don't consider them worth my time and effort. My parents ( particularly my Dad) seem to be trying to hide my mental illness. Dad said that it's a reflection on him and that people will think I'm mistreated. I can't stop thinking about it. I just feel physically and mentally trapped. I don't know what to do.

Username: sophie02

Date posted: 4y ago

I’ve gotten bad again. I feel so alone and I’m so depressed. No one in my family cares no one gives a fuck And when I cry they just tell me to shut up or they tell me to stop being dramatic or cut it out. I hate myself, like I hate everything about myself my mind, my body. I keep thinking things would be better if I wasn’t here, everyone would be better, I wouldn’t just be a pain In the ass. I feel worthless. Nothing I do ever ends up meaning shit. No one notices or cares.

Username: Callmekeek

Date posted: 2y ago

How do I get my family to understand some of what I am going through and how the actions that they do could make it worse? I wish they weren’t so judgmental of the things I do. I truly feel like I can’t help it.

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My family doesn’t understand mental health issues.

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