I’m scared that a memory I have is real BUT I want to try and remember it as good and nothing happened Worried I’m suppressing something and that’s why I can’t remember What should I do? Anyone relate?
You’re not alone in that either, I promise. The reason we get stuck is because OCD can be SO convincing! It makes us believe that what it says is important because it feels so real. OCD will always tell us that our false memories may have actually happened, because that’s what gets our attention and makes us engage with the thoughts. The key with OCD, no matter what the content or theme is, is accepting uncertainty. I know this is of course easier said than done, but once we accept not knowing, OCD loses its power. If you try to argue with it or disprove it, OCD will just fire back with more scenarios and doubts. The best way to respond here is to treat the OCD for what it is and not get caught up in the content, no matter how real it seems. Maybe the fear is true, maybe it isn’t, but it’s not your responsibility to torture yourself trying to find an answer that will never be enough for OCD anyway!
@cr2857 Thanks so much for these. Can we ever figure out what was real and what wasn’t??
Yes I can relate to this so much, and everyone dealing with false memory OCD can too, so you’re definitely not alone! OCD traps us by telling us we need to check our memory to make sure remember every detail perfectly to prove that we did nothing wrong. The truth is that we will never get complete certainty because there’s no way to go back and check, and the more we give into compulsions we are actually feeding the OCD. It seems so difficult to disregard the thoughts when they come, because it feels like we HAVE to do something to figure it out. The truth is that we DON’T have to figure it out, which is good because we ultimately can’t anyway. Try to respond to your ocd with, “maybe, maybe not” instead of trying to argue with it. When we aren’t fighting with our OCD, it will eventually quiet down and your anxiety will drop. If rumination and other compulsions worked, they would have solved the problem and none of us would be suffering with OCD. You got this!
@cr2857 My fear is that my mind has created a false memory that DID happen. What should I do? Also, thanks sooo much!!!
Of course! I know how tough it is, and these are the things I’ve been trying to remind myself of as well. I think the best response to that question would be I don’t know, but it’s not our job to figure it out. In my experience, no amount of compulsions have ever given me certainty about what is real and what isn’t. Any time OCD is telling you to “figure something out”, it’s a trap!
@cr2857 Love this. Thanks for a great new year :)
Glad it helped! Happy New Year!
I went out 2 years ago with some friends and I can’t remember some of the night - we went to a house party and my friends say nothing happened but I’m so afraid that I cheated on my partner and don’t remember it. It’s consuming my every minute and I can’t let it go. I was reading up on false memory ocd the other day and it triggered me into thinking what if something I imagined happening actually happened and I don’t know what to do and I’m scared that because I imagined something a certain way that if it wasn’t the same thing I imagined that it must be true
So. I was in a traumatic relationship. for a long time. it was filled with gaslighting, manipulation, abuse, cheating ect. I would OBSESS over finding out where they were, what they were doing, who they were talking too. but I couldn’t leave. I tried so hard but I never could. they would call me names, physically hurt me, throw things, break things. because I would question them all the time. but I just couldn’t leave. no matter what I knew. they would manipulate me. I fell for their childhood trauma. it’s like I lost all logic. but I also feel like I have a pretty good memory with memories. not all the way, but remembering a lot of the traumatic things. especially now that I’m no longer with them. I keep remembering things that’s happened. even from my childhood. one time way before I even started dating this person, I had an intrusive thought about a friend of mine. that was with me. and I freaked out. I thought I had acted on the intrusive thought the next day. I asked my friend for confirmation but they said nothing happened. but the memories about it feel SO REAL. so VIVID. but they swore that nothing happened and they had no idea what I was talking about. I’ve struggled with intrusive thoughts for my whole life. so fast forward to now, that ‘false memory’ from my friend randomly popped up and I started obsessing about it, and my childhood ‘memories’ that have popped up. and then I was reading an article of someone doing something horrible, and then it sounded ‘familiar’ and so then I’ve created this whole memory of me doing something similar to the article involving my partner doing it also. the memory keeps adding new things and conversations around it. when it involves an actual real memory. but it’s like it’s been twisted from what I remembered before. I also suffer from bad anxiety. I’ve stalked pictures. my search history to figure out what I was doing that say when the real event happened. and I’ve found some things but I can’t look through my texts because I got a new phone. it has been hounding me for months. MONTHS. trying to figure out if this new ‘memory’ is real or not. if it’s been fabricated by an intrusive thought from reading the article and thinking ‘what if’ or if it actually happened and because I’m no longer in this relationship it’s a ‘repressed memory’ but the thing is I have horrible horrible anxiety and I don’t think I could have gone this long knowingly that that happened without remembering it until now. because I remember a lot of the horrible things that they did. this ‘memory’ is fuzzy, but it brings me horrible anxiety when I think of it, like I feel like it happened. but I also feel like it didn’t happen. because I know I would never do anything like that. but WHAT IF I DID, because I was manipulated. idk. is this a false memory. I really need help. because it’s been debilitating. that relationship was really traumatic. and I got manipulated into a lot of things. but I wouldn’t have just went forward knowing that that happened??? there’s no way I could have just forgotten it. because before when I would think about that night it was different, until now. but what if I just made myself forget what truly happened?? I’m a pretty self aware individual, but somehow that relationship really REALLY put me into a trance somehow where I allowed things that I have no idea how I would even allow because before I met that person I would have never allowed someone to cheat on my constantly or talk to me the way they did. or allow abuse. like I don’t understand it.
How do you know the difference :( I genuinely cannot keep living in this torment. it all started with an ‘intrusive thought’ where I had like a hazy flash of something reading an article. and I remember thinking ‘what if’ and ‘what is this’ and then that intrusive thought turned into me ‘remembering’ something else. which caused me panic. then I started trying to find evidence because it contradicted what I remembered this entire time. this was last year in like september. fast forward to march this year, it came back up- but this time stronger and with more ‘details’ and what nots. and I’ve been ruminating on it since then trying to remember and connect and It’s like I’ve added all of these details. but are they real? or is this just my OCD? I just feel like if it were real I would have never been able to keep it to myself. but also what if it was so traumatic that I blocked it out? because it all makes NO sense for me to do something like that. but it also fits what I was thinking at the time. idk
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