I’m scared that a memory I have is real BUT I want to try and remember it as good and nothing happened Worried I’m suppressing something and that’s why I can’t remember What should I do? Anyone relate?
You’re not alone in that either, I promise. The reason we get stuck is because OCD can be SO convincing! It makes us believe that what it says is important because it feels so real. OCD will always tell us that our false memories may have actually happened, because that’s what gets our attention and makes us engage with the thoughts. The key with OCD, no matter what the content or theme is, is accepting uncertainty. I know this is of course easier said than done, but once we accept not knowing, OCD loses its power. If you try to argue with it or disprove it, OCD will just fire back with more scenarios and doubts. The best way to respond here is to treat the OCD for what it is and not get caught up in the content, no matter how real it seems. Maybe the fear is true, maybe it isn’t, but it’s not your responsibility to torture yourself trying to find an answer that will never be enough for OCD anyway!
@cr2857 Thanks so much for these. Can we ever figure out what was real and what wasn’t??
Yes I can relate to this so much, and everyone dealing with false memory OCD can too, so you’re definitely not alone! OCD traps us by telling us we need to check our memory to make sure remember every detail perfectly to prove that we did nothing wrong. The truth is that we will never get complete certainty because there’s no way to go back and check, and the more we give into compulsions we are actually feeding the OCD. It seems so difficult to disregard the thoughts when they come, because it feels like we HAVE to do something to figure it out. The truth is that we DON’T have to figure it out, which is good because we ultimately can’t anyway. Try to respond to your ocd with, “maybe, maybe not” instead of trying to argue with it. When we aren’t fighting with our OCD, it will eventually quiet down and your anxiety will drop. If rumination and other compulsions worked, they would have solved the problem and none of us would be suffering with OCD. You got this!
@cr2857 My fear is that my mind has created a false memory that DID happen. What should I do? Also, thanks sooo much!!!
Of course! I know how tough it is, and these are the things I’ve been trying to remind myself of as well. I think the best response to that question would be I don’t know, but it’s not our job to figure it out. In my experience, no amount of compulsions have ever given me certainty about what is real and what isn’t. Any time OCD is telling you to “figure something out”, it’s a trap!
@cr2857 Love this. Thanks for a great new year :)
Glad it helped! Happy New Year!
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