I’m scared that a memory I have is real BUT I want to try and remember it as good and nothing happened Worried I’m suppressing something and that’s why I can’t remember What should I do? Anyone relate?
You’re not alone in that either, I promise. The reason we get stuck is because OCD can be SO convincing! It makes us believe that what it says is important because it feels so real. OCD will always tell us that our false memories may have actually happened, because that’s what gets our attention and makes us engage with the thoughts. The key with OCD, no matter what the content or theme is, is accepting uncertainty. I know this is of course easier said than done, but once we accept not knowing, OCD loses its power. If you try to argue with it or disprove it, OCD will just fire back with more scenarios and doubts. The best way to respond here is to treat the OCD for what it is and not get caught up in the content, no matter how real it seems. Maybe the fear is true, maybe it isn’t, but it’s not your responsibility to torture yourself trying to find an answer that will never be enough for OCD anyway!
@cr2857 Thanks so much for these. Can we ever figure out what was real and what wasn’t??
Yes I can relate to this so much, and everyone dealing with false memory OCD can too, so you’re definitely not alone! OCD traps us by telling us we need to check our memory to make sure remember every detail perfectly to prove that we did nothing wrong. The truth is that we will never get complete certainty because there’s no way to go back and check, and the more we give into compulsions we are actually feeding the OCD. It seems so difficult to disregard the thoughts when they come, because it feels like we HAVE to do something to figure it out. The truth is that we DON’T have to figure it out, which is good because we ultimately can’t anyway. Try to respond to your ocd with, “maybe, maybe not” instead of trying to argue with it. When we aren’t fighting with our OCD, it will eventually quiet down and your anxiety will drop. If rumination and other compulsions worked, they would have solved the problem and none of us would be suffering with OCD. You got this!
@cr2857 My fear is that my mind has created a false memory that DID happen. What should I do? Also, thanks sooo much!!!
Of course! I know how tough it is, and these are the things I’ve been trying to remind myself of as well. I think the best response to that question would be I don’t know, but it’s not our job to figure it out. In my experience, no amount of compulsions have ever given me certainty about what is real and what isn’t. Any time OCD is telling you to “figure something out”, it’s a trap!
@cr2857 Love this. Thanks for a great new year :)
Glad it helped! Happy New Year!
Can it feel like you literally remember a false memory happening? And it feels like the memory has always been there and you vividly remember it happening that way? Because I don’t even know if I’m experiencing a false memory or not but god it feels so fucking real. Like I literally remember it happening. But what’s weird is the original memory was kind of different. 2 years later, the memory is not the same, but it feels like I literally remember it happening. And in this memory, I’m fucking snapping. I’m acting on my thoughts. I feel like a fucking psycho. I hope this is just OCD
How do you know the difference :( I genuinely cannot keep living in this torment. it all started with an ‘intrusive thought’ where I had like a hazy flash of something reading an article. and I remember thinking ‘what if’ and ‘what is this’ and then that intrusive thought turned into me ‘remembering’ something else. which caused me panic. then I started trying to find evidence because it contradicted what I remembered this entire time. this was last year in like september. fast forward to march this year, it came back up- but this time stronger and with more ‘details’ and what nots. and I’ve been ruminating on it since then trying to remember and connect and It’s like I’ve added all of these details. but are they real? or is this just my OCD? I just feel like if it were real I would have never been able to keep it to myself. but also what if it was so traumatic that I blocked it out? because it all makes NO sense for me to do something like that. but it also fits what I was thinking at the time. idk
I’m reaching out for educational and self-awareness purposes, hoping to better understand something I’ve been mentally struggling with for several years. Around five years ago, I began having a deeply distressing memory involving the fear that I may have acted inappropriately toward my younger sister when I was around 13–14 years old. The details are vague, fragmented, and unclear—but ever since this thought first appeared, I’ve treated it as if it were a real event. I’ve carried immense guilt, fear, and anxiety for years, convinced that I must have done something horrible. Despite asking my sister (who remembers absolutely nothing, has never shown signs of discomfort, and has told me more than once that she would’ve spoken up if anything had happened), the doubt and guilt never went away. The memory feels real, yet there is no external confirmation, no direct recall, and no evidence beyond my own mental images and fear. I’ve also struggled with obsessive thoughts in other areas, such as health anxiety since childhood—frequent doctor visits, checking my pulse, obsessing over illness—and only recently learned about false memory OCD, which aligns with my experience. I’m not currently seeking therapy but would greatly appreciate your professional opinion from an educational perspective: Does this sound more like a real memory, or more likely a false memory created by OCD or anxiety-related mechanisms I am stuck between a normal person or a s*xual abuser
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