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hi! i hope this doesn’t distract you into getting back on the app if you don’t want to. it’s so vulnerable to talk about these things- you’re not alone. i’m going through the exact same thing. it’s a huge tmi but it would typically pop up during intimate times for me as well, especially toward the end. you’re still disturbed by these things- that hasn’t changed. your OCD knows you’re disturbed by these things, that’s why it’s using them to attack you. i know it’s tiring hearing, “this isn’t you!” but it truly isn’t. if it’s happening more, it’s most likely because you’re trying to suppress it more. as bs as it sounds, ocd will also make you believe these things are turning into desires or something you don’t see as morally wrong anymore, but the reason they happen so often is because you do get uncomfortable with them. it doesn’t align with your morals. a lot of people struggle with thinking it may be who they are turning into, but you’re clearly distressed over this, which shows us that it truly isn’t you or anything you’d do. i promise you are not alone in the feeling, this is what i’ve been struggling with the most. people who are into it, don’t see anything wrong with it, and they DO intend to act on it in one way or another. you’re here because you don’t want this. you know you don’t. i understand it feels real- it feels real for me too sometimes. but we both know deep down it’s not who we are. as hard and uncomfortable as it is, we need to start being more patient and compassionate with ourselves. don’t try to force the thoughts to go away. don’t judge yourself. don’t look at them as negative. you and these thoughts are like separate beings entirely. when you hear another person say something, you can hear and see it in your head. it’s the same thing with OCD, it’s like someone else. i understand you don’t think reassurance will help- maybe it won’t- but please know you aren’t the only person who feels this way. feel free to reach out if you need support 🖤