- Date posted
- 1y
Pure O (Should I tell my new girlfriend?)
I told my last girlfriend of 16 months I suffer from Pure OCD sexually intrusive thoughts, and she ended our relationship.
I told my last girlfriend of 16 months I suffer from Pure OCD sexually intrusive thoughts, and she ended our relationship.
Sorry that happened. Take any advice on here with a grain of salt. It's up to you -- what do you think? I'd personally want to be with someone who's going to support my mental health. But I might or might not tell them at the start of the relationship or later, depending on the circumstances. But really, it comes down to, what do you think is personally right for you?
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@bekind94 I think that he did the right thing, personally i just decide to tell my bf about my Ocd next week, if he accepts that’s going to be great ! If not i know i’ll be sad but i’ll accept that, don’t have the choice ! if he loves me he should accept all my problems ! If not it’s okay, it’s life we learn.
@bekind94 Yes not everyone will understand our ocd, but if our loved ones don’t who will ?
Look it’s up to you. I have confessed way too many intrusive thoughts to my bf (tho he’s been amazing through it all, it has caused a lot of problems in our relationship because it took a toll on his own mental health) I think that it is okay to let your partner know what you’re going through, you don’t have to tell them details because I believe that can fall into confession. But I believe that if someone is willing to be with you and accept you have a mental illness, that shows they really care. If you don’t feel comfortable with knowing how to word it, maybe look up some articles of “people with sexual ocd, what their partner should know” or something, and show your partner an article on your mental illness, that might be able to better explain it in a way she would understand. Once again, your choice, but I think it’s important for people to know you suffer with a mental illness like ocd even if you don’t disclose details to them of it
I’m a good man and I know that. My OCD revolves around relationships. While dating someone a truly enjoy, I find myself needing to compulse everything on my mind or else I feel like I’m being a liar or keeping secrets. I also am pretty confident I suffer from false memory ocd. I don’t like to put a label on things but I’m 99.9% sure I do. My compulsions a lot of times come from things I’m not even sure are real. The more thought I put into them, the more I start to believe they are real. One of the worst compulsions I had in my relationship was I had a thought “what if I find my ex more attractive” and “what if I thought the sex with them was better”. I ended up compulsing these things to my gf. After lots of time to think and get a ahold of myself I was able to remind myself that these things weren’t true and I was just in a downward spiral. There was a 2-3 month period where every time I was relieved of something then I would instantly think of something else. These compulsions have caused insecurity in my gf and I feel like a terrible person. Never meant to hurt her at all and was just trying to find a sense of relief. While I know it is not true, I can’t fix things with words and I feel terrible. I would love to hear from people with tricks and strategies that can help. I love my gf and want to fix things and understand this is not a relationship fixer app but I would like to know what are some ways you are able to deal with these kind of things.
So I’m really struggling to believe that anyone will want to be in a relationship with me and still love me when they find out about my pocd and intrusive thoughts. I am holding a belief no one can love me with this condition and they will be repulsed by me when they find out. I just don’t know how to shake that feeling and be brave enough to try and share with anyone I’m dating.
For those of you in relationships with ROCD, do your partners know of your diagnosis. I am new to treatment and new to this avenue of mental health. I am generally pretty open and honest with my partner about things but the dark side of my mind I keep hidden. I’m scared to tell him about this if I’m diagnosed. And I’m scared that if I’m diagnosed and something real does go south in the relationship then my diagnosis will be used against me.
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