Moral scrupulosity
I don’t understand the concept of using Maybe or maybe not. When having very taboo thoughts. Like I feel it makes my ocd worse. Can someone explain?
You live “maybe, maybe not” and not necessarily say it because that can become a compulsion. The more you interact and react to your OCD, the more it acts up because you are signaling to the brain that what it is showing you is in fact, dangerous, and will continually show more of it as a dangerous response. The same goes for avoidance: the more you avoid something the more you are reinforcing the brain to fear that thing, place, or person. That is why you need to face your fears and your OCD to overcome them.
@Nica Hi Nica - I’m your experience, how would you apply this theory to SOOCD. So if the thought is “I feel like I’m gay” and that’s the obsession. How does this work when it comes to the brain protecting me? Or how does it work to show me it’s dangerous? I’m very stuck.
@gp OCD latches on things you care about or that go against your morals so you have to take that into consideration. I suggest working with a specialist because OCD is complex alongside your background and personality and life experiences, but they’ll get to know you and then help you way more with specifics. But you’re just letting the thoughts and feelings be present without fighting or judging them and that’s how you lessen OCD symptoms.
@Nica Thanks Nica, makes sense. I have a therapy session on Monday. My question to her will be how do I accept the thoughts and feelings as intrusive when they feel real/true? It seems as though once I can acknowledge them as intrusions rather than fact/truth, then I will be able to create that space and get on with my day. I seem to get sucked into believing they are true, and then find it too hard to carry on with my day allowing them to be there. Does that make sense?
@gp That will be discussed in therapy but definitely something to bring up and be honest with. I had to do this with POCD and it wasn’t accepting I was a monster, it was just letting the intrusive thoughts be there without fighting them.
@Nica How on earth did you go about accepting the thoughts despite how real and true they felt to you? Like I get people say “deep down you know” but I find I can’t lean on that. I’m so confused and get smashed by how true the feelings are? How did you overcome that?
@gp Because I know it’s OCD and I was suicidal and hit rock bottom after many miserable years of my life. I was angry at everyone and at myself. I hated life. I hated everything in existence. So, do I keep doing what I was doing—which sucked and did nothing for me—or trust my therapist and the process? I trusted my therapist and the various therapies I went through and still do 100% trust my therapist. I’ve now been recovered from all my mental illnesses or 4 years now.
@Nica Makes sense to me. Congrats. I know you have responded to me many times and others. I want and need to just trust my therapist who tells me this is ocd. And tells me I have to accept the thoughts and do ERP. I get these periods of feeling like I can do it, then it comes crashing down when it feels so real and true. Almost like I feel as if I know the thoughts are true but don’t want them.
@gp The moment you let go of the need to control your thoughts, then it will all be easier.
I get that way too. I try not using that tbh.
You dont need to accept the thought or agree with it, you just need to accept that your brain had an intrusive thought
Like I saw a therapist online saying to use that and I he said that starves the ocd because it hates uncertainty. But I get taboos thoughts about racism and sometimes I get the thought “I’m a racist” and I was thinking how can incorporate the maybe and maybe not if we know that intrusive thoughts go against our values it’s like by using that I’m agreeing to the thought and that makes my ocd worse.
@Melody 25 You realize that it’s an intrusive thought and you don’t interact with it. Go about your day.
I am a Christian and I was wondering with religious OCD that if you give in to a compulsion does that mean you agree with the thought or actually want it?
Hey, guys. So, I feel like a lot of my scrupulosity ocd is emotions/feelings. Like, I get these impressions and feelings of being evil. I really feel like I am whatever I’m afraid of being in that moment. And I’m really confused by this, since ocd is about thoughts, right? Is that how it is for you guys too?
Since scrupulosity is a big part of OCD, I was wondering how other people deal with moral dilemmas. Things like choosing whether or not to support a company because of problematic ties or actions of employees or associated people, is something I'm struggling with. It feels like if I were to support certain things (companies, video games, etc.) that I've been supporting for a while I would be directly or indirectly supporting people who have done bad things. But sometimes giving those things up is difficult, and it feels like I'm losing a part of myself. I also feel that if I were to ask for guidance, I'm not really asking for guidance so much as hoping people will say it's fine for me to keep supporting those things for one reason or another. The burden feels like it's entirely on me to make these decisions, and either way it feels like there's no right decision. It's really overwhelming, and I'm having trouble navigating it.
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